Als ich auf die Straße mit dem Essen in der Hände gelaufen bin, finde ich es sehr therapeutisch. Ich bin langsam gelaufen. Ich habe die Brautwurst langsam gegessen. Es schmeckt gut. Die Straße war beleuchtet mit vieler Schmuck. Es ist genau Weihnachten!
Nur in Deutschland habe ich dieses wünderbares Gefuhl. Obwohl alles nicht in Erwartung gingen (mit der Klasse), sieht alles ok aus. Ich weiß nicht genau, was für ein Grund gibt es. Ich weiß nur, dass diese Erfahrung sehr wertvoll ist.
Ich bin sehr dankbar für alles. Gott hat mich viel gegeben. Ein guter Mann, ein gutes Leben, eine gute Ausbildung. Ich sollte nicht mehr nach Ihm fragen.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Mein Tagesablauf / Daily Schedule
7 am - Aufstehen
8am - Kaffee kaufen und trinken
9am bis 12.15 pm- Unterricht
12.15pm bis 12.45pm - Pause
12.45pm bis 14.15 pm - Unterricht#
14.15pm bis 16.00pm - Internet/Essen/Spazierengehen
16.00pm - Zurück ins Zimmer. Lesen, Pause machen, Lesen und lesen bis zum Schlafen.
20.00/21.00 - Schlafen
8am - Kaffee kaufen und trinken
9am bis 12.15 pm- Unterricht
12.15pm bis 12.45pm - Pause
12.45pm bis 14.15 pm - Unterricht#
14.15pm bis 16.00pm - Internet/Essen/Spazierengehen
16.00pm - Zurück ins Zimmer. Lesen, Pause machen, Lesen und lesen bis zum Schlafen.
20.00/21.00 - Schlafen
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Saturday, December 05, 2009
Die kalte Atmosphäre
Ich weiß nicht ob ich zu anstrengend oder empfindlich bin. Wenn ich an meine Kolleginnen und Kollegen denke, dann habe ich das Gefühl, dass ich ihnen nicht vertrauen kann. Es ist nicht gut wenn man zu lange in diesem Umstand arbeiten. Ich will nicht zurück mit ihnen arbeiten, leider kann ich es nicht wählen.
Sie haben schon viel, in Vergleich mit die Menschen, die hier haben. Ich bedanke mich bei Gott für alles, die ich habe. Dann frage ich nicht mehr, weil ich fröh bin. Aber, wenn ich die andere Menschen betrachte und erfahre dass sie immer mehr wollen, das ärgert mich. Warum? Sie haben nicht an die arme Leute gedacht. Sie haben nicht für die andere Leute etwas geschafft. Warum sollen sie mehr haben? Das ist meine Frage.
Ich hoffe, dass ich etwas tun kann. Leider weiß ich nicht genau wie ich es schaffen soll. Ich kann nur beten, dass Gott alle Menschen hilft.
Sie haben schon viel, in Vergleich mit die Menschen, die hier haben. Ich bedanke mich bei Gott für alles, die ich habe. Dann frage ich nicht mehr, weil ich fröh bin. Aber, wenn ich die andere Menschen betrachte und erfahre dass sie immer mehr wollen, das ärgert mich. Warum? Sie haben nicht an die arme Leute gedacht. Sie haben nicht für die andere Leute etwas geschafft. Warum sollen sie mehr haben? Das ist meine Frage.
Ich hoffe, dass ich etwas tun kann. Leider weiß ich nicht genau wie ich es schaffen soll. Ich kann nur beten, dass Gott alle Menschen hilft.
Thursday, December 03, 2009
In Heidelberg
Here is my little nest for the 3 weeks in Heidelberg. Simple and small, nothing fancy. A place where I spend my time reading and doing homework. The abence of TV and Radio makes it really challenging to keep my eyes open at times. And the loud screams from the neighbours really get on my nerves at times. You never know what is really going to happen.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Das Ende
Jetzt ist es November. Die Schueler haben ihre Schulferien angefangen. Ich bin ein bisschen launisch. Ich weiss, dass ich meine Schueler nicht so oft in der Zukunft sehen kann. Sie muessen in die Hoch schule gehen und ihrer Abenteuer finden. Naechstes Jahr lehre ich eine neue Klasse.
Meine Schueler fehlst mir. Wir haben viel zusammen getan. Ich erineere mich an die Zeit, in der wir hart gearbeitet haben. Ich erinnere mich an die zeit, in der wir so viel Spass hatten.
Ich danke Gott fuer alles. Ich danke Gott duer diese Kinder. Sie haben mir viel Glueck gebracht. Sie haben mir viel unterrichtet. Ich habe viel von ihnen gelernt. Sie sind gute Kinder. Ich wunsche ihnen viel Glueck und hoffe, dass sie ihrer Ziel des Lebens finden koennen.
Meine Schueler fehlst mir. Wir haben viel zusammen getan. Ich erineere mich an die Zeit, in der wir hart gearbeitet haben. Ich erinnere mich an die zeit, in der wir so viel Spass hatten.
Ich danke Gott fuer alles. Ich danke Gott duer diese Kinder. Sie haben mir viel Glueck gebracht. Sie haben mir viel unterrichtet. Ich habe viel von ihnen gelernt. Sie sind gute Kinder. Ich wunsche ihnen viel Glueck und hoffe, dass sie ihrer Ziel des Lebens finden koennen.
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Feelings of joy and love
The exams are over. The children are now enjoying themselves. As for me, I am still slogging away. Previously, I was slogging over their homework and exams. Now, I am working my butt off to arrange talks and fun activities for them. During this time, I have to run up and down the school many times over in a day to make sure that things are running smoothly. P6 teachers are still not getting a break yet, at least for me.
But when I saw how much they were enjoying themselves, I come home feeling grateful. We went to West Coast Park last week. Despite the rain, the children were running around, playing on the swings and structures without any reservations. Despite the perspiration and sand all over their bodies, their mouths were always open, of course not with food in them. I thank God for these wonderful children. They are of good character, innocent, caring, loving, helpful and so lovable.
I contrast the relationship that we had for the past two years. Ever since I took them, I set very strict standards and rules. I demanded order and results. When they did not perform up to standard, I berated them till they labelled me as a 'Tigeress". I guess they probably cursed and swore when I really screamed at them, but they did not make it known to me.
Now, things are so different. I do not have to scold them because they have learnt how to behave themselves well, most of the time. They have learnt to listen when necessary and play when the time is right. They have put in the best for their exams. I demand results, but what I value more, is the attitude that they have. It is the process and attitude which matters, not the results. While not everyone will do well, what is important is that they have put in the effort. I always believed that whatever we do, we must not regret our decisions and accept the consequences.
These days, I thank the Lord so much more for the love that He has showered on me. I thank the Lord for blessing me with a wonderful hubby who has been supporting me all this time. I thank the Lord for giving me the strength and perseverance to walk these 2 years with the children. I thank the Lord for these wonderful creations of Life.
Amen.
But when I saw how much they were enjoying themselves, I come home feeling grateful. We went to West Coast Park last week. Despite the rain, the children were running around, playing on the swings and structures without any reservations. Despite the perspiration and sand all over their bodies, their mouths were always open, of course not with food in them. I thank God for these wonderful children. They are of good character, innocent, caring, loving, helpful and so lovable.
I contrast the relationship that we had for the past two years. Ever since I took them, I set very strict standards and rules. I demanded order and results. When they did not perform up to standard, I berated them till they labelled me as a 'Tigeress". I guess they probably cursed and swore when I really screamed at them, but they did not make it known to me.
Now, things are so different. I do not have to scold them because they have learnt how to behave themselves well, most of the time. They have learnt to listen when necessary and play when the time is right. They have put in the best for their exams. I demand results, but what I value more, is the attitude that they have. It is the process and attitude which matters, not the results. While not everyone will do well, what is important is that they have put in the effort. I always believed that whatever we do, we must not regret our decisions and accept the consequences.
These days, I thank the Lord so much more for the love that He has showered on me. I thank the Lord for blessing me with a wonderful hubby who has been supporting me all this time. I thank the Lord for giving me the strength and perseverance to walk these 2 years with the children. I thank the Lord for these wonderful creations of Life.
Amen.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Matts Gerburstag
Gestern war Matts Geburstag. Wir haben nicht so viel getan, nur gingen wir ins Restaurant. Dieses mal habe ich ein Spanisches Restaurant gewählt. Wir haben einige Tapas gegessen und Sangria getrunken. Ich habe seit langer kein Alkohol getrunken. Nach einige Schlückchen war ich mich ein bißchen angetrunken. Aber, alles war gut. Wir hatten ein schönes Abendessen in Ruhe. Das Spanisches Essen hat gut geschmuckt, besonders die Muschel.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Thoughts on this night.....
There is a fine line between colleagues and friends. At work, people claim to be your 'friend' when in fact, they are only acquaintances. I am beginning to see things clearly again. The fog is beginning to clear. Sometimes, I seem to be able to tell who my friends are. Sometimes, I cannot.
God is putting me through this test once again to remind me of something. Is God telling me to be on my guard against something? Is the Lord helping me to see things from a different view? Or is the Lord teaching me to be strong and not be so easily affected by little things in this world?
Dear Lord,
Please help me to be strong.Teach me to focus on what is important in my life. Lead me to you, dear Lord, for you are my source of strength. Teach me to place my faith in you, dear Lord.
Amen.
Dear Lord,
I so long to be in Germany. Other than my physical home, the one other place where I feel safe and at peace is in Germany. There is no place for me here. I simply do not fit in. But in Germany, I feel at home. The culture, the way of life and the surroundings. I want to fly there immediately.
I cannot rationalize the actions of the people living here in this country. There are few things which they do that I can accept and understand. I see zombies everywhere. They are simply following the tide and fads. They have no idea what they are doing with their lives. Do they see the deeper meaning? Or are they simply blinded by the need to protect themselves by accumulating secular 'necessities' such as power, glory and wealth?
Or perhaps my own definition is wrong? I am the odd one out. I should not have appeared on Earth at all? Perhaps, I should remove my coloured-lens and move along with the crowd?
What can I do?
God is putting me through this test once again to remind me of something. Is God telling me to be on my guard against something? Is the Lord helping me to see things from a different view? Or is the Lord teaching me to be strong and not be so easily affected by little things in this world?
Dear Lord,
Please help me to be strong.Teach me to focus on what is important in my life. Lead me to you, dear Lord, for you are my source of strength. Teach me to place my faith in you, dear Lord.
Amen.
Dear Lord,
I so long to be in Germany. Other than my physical home, the one other place where I feel safe and at peace is in Germany. There is no place for me here. I simply do not fit in. But in Germany, I feel at home. The culture, the way of life and the surroundings. I want to fly there immediately.
I cannot rationalize the actions of the people living here in this country. There are few things which they do that I can accept and understand. I see zombies everywhere. They are simply following the tide and fads. They have no idea what they are doing with their lives. Do they see the deeper meaning? Or are they simply blinded by the need to protect themselves by accumulating secular 'necessities' such as power, glory and wealth?
Or perhaps my own definition is wrong? I am the odd one out. I should not have appeared on Earth at all? Perhaps, I should remove my coloured-lens and move along with the crowd?
What can I do?
Monday, September 28, 2009
Birthday 2005 vs 2009
Yesterday was my birthday.
Thoughts of my birthday celebration in Copenhagen came to my mind. That was the only birthday I felt truly happy. A simple cake, baked by Lex and family, and having people I care about by my side. Matt, of course, and the cute and adorable Lex and his family. I remember the cold weather, though it was not winter yet. The cozy and warm atmosphere at Lex's apartment. For the first time in my life, I celebrated my birthday in a family context, with people I felt comfortable with. The one year I spent in Denmark, was made very memorable by Lex who brought smiles to my face, although there were times he was quite mischievous too. Lex is the first child who had very close contact with me. I never really had younger siblings or relatives to play with. Lex was the one who taught me about the emotions and feeling of children. He taught me about the innocence of life. He taught me about the importance of parenthood.
Last week, Matt and I bought me a mini-cake. An advance celebration. He decorated the cake.
And of course, we had a good time enjoying the cake!
And of course, we had a good time enjoying the cake!
But the real cake came yesterday. My very first ice-cream cake in 30 years!
Monday, September 21, 2009
My Birthday Cake decorated by Matt
Hmm....it was fun....(except that the little boy beside us kept stealing our cream to decorate his own cake which ended up to be a mess!!!) Some simple decorations...the process was enjoyable.
There is no such thing as a free lunch!!! Use your brains!
Yesterday, I was with the kids at Istana. We were there working of course. Sweating it out in the sun performing. The personnel at the Istana provided us with bottled water and some pastry as we were there performing for more than an one hour in the end. While the kids were blowing their lungs out, I stood at the side, observing and guarding the drinks!! Why was I doing the job of a security officer guarding bottled mineral water??? The reason is damn simple. Some people think that they can simply take without asking!!! These THIEVES!!!!!!! Obviously, the water is for the kids. Yet, people simply walked over and took the bottles without even asking if they were eligible for it. In the end, I had to stand there and say " Excuse Me" as loudlly as I could whenever they walk in that direction
Just a few meters away from us, there were booths selling ice-cream and drinks. You will not miss them!
Hey People!!! Use your brains and use your eyes!!! If the water is free at the Istana, I am sure there would be people eagerly giving it out.
Conclusion - These people do not have brains, they are blind and have no idea of what the meaning of social etiquette is. Yet, these people think that they are smart and gracious. What arrogance and ignorance!!!!! Is that how educated people would behave?
Just a few meters away from us, there were booths selling ice-cream and drinks. You will not miss them!
Hey People!!! Use your brains and use your eyes!!! If the water is free at the Istana, I am sure there would be people eagerly giving it out.
Conclusion - These people do not have brains, they are blind and have no idea of what the meaning of social etiquette is. Yet, these people think that they are smart and gracious. What arrogance and ignorance!!!!! Is that how educated people would behave?
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Deutschland
Ich setze mich vor dem Schreibtisch. Aus der Laptop kommt schöne Musik, Deutsche Musik. Jetzt kann ich mich in Ruhe entspannen. Ich habe noch Arbeit aus der Schule, aber, ich denke, dass ich eine kurze Pause machen kann. Die Zeit vergeht wie im Flug. In einige Wochen fahre ich nach Heidelberg. Jeden Tag kann ich nur von Heidelberg träumen. Ich lese viel über die Städte, die ich besuchen will. Ich will die Deutsche Geschichte lernen. Ich will die Kultur und Sprache lernen. Ich will alles Deutsch erleben. Mein Herz ist schon in Deutschland, seit vielen Jahren da. Ich will nach Deutschland. Nur in Deutschland kann ich das Gefühl haben, dass ich zu Hause bin.
Ich erinnere mich an das Essen, das Kaffe und so viele andere Sache, die für mich mit Deutschland eine Verbindung gibt.
Ich erinnere mich an das Essen, das Kaffe und so viele andere Sache, die für mich mit Deutschland eine Verbindung gibt.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Ein Buch fertig gelesen
„Maria, ihm schmeckt’s nicht“ von Jan Weiler. Das habe ich fertig gelesen!!! Yeah. Ich glaube, es ist schon 6 Wochen. Ich habe das Buch in 6 Wochen gelesen. Ich stehe auf den Standpunkt, dass ich einen kleinen Erfolg erreichen habe. Mit so viel Arbeit kann ich dass machen. Das ist wunderbar!!!! was soll ich weiter lesen??
Monday, September 07, 2009
Andre Rieu
Sometimes, we can only watch in awe the wonderful gifts that others have and wonder if we ourselves have any talent whatsoever.
Sunday, September 06, 2009
Teachers' Day
My pupils were very sweet. They planned a party for me and gave me a surprise on 31 Aug 2009. With all the windows shut and lights off, I walked into the classroom and all of them surprised me with greetings and of course some really loud 'explosions'. The day went by with some work done in class and some celebration. They surrounded me and drowned me with all their gifts. I was touched. They were like my 'children' cuddling up with me. That feeling could not be described. I felt loved and happy.
Back home, I took out their gifts one by one and studied them. Some of them gave me handmade things such as artwork and cards. Some of them spent their money on gifts bought from the gift shop. I was praying that they had not spent too much money. As I went through the gifts, what really made me cry was the honest thoughts inscribed on the simple cards. They thanked me for what I have done for them and they told me that they understood why I scolded them. There is this girl who wrote to me in Mandarin. She is a very quiet student and she does not say much. Sometimes, I also wonder what goes on in her mind. But her letter to me was very simple and straightforward. She conveyed her thoughts to me through the beauty of words and she made something very simple for me. I can imagine her at home, sitting at her table, putting in all her efforts to ensure that there is no error and everything is as perfect as can be. That thought tugged at my heartstrings and I was simply too happy for words.
I am not perfect. There were times when I had made mistakes too. Yet, these children's affections for me makes me feel guilty because my expectations for myself are so high that I have not reached them yet. But these children accept me for who I am. As much as they do bring anxiety and stress into my life, they also bring that sense of joy the whole time.
That is why I sometimes feel that society is too harsh on these children. They are innocent. Yet, with the progress of the world today, they have to be subjected to the harsh dynamics of the environment. In order to protect them, I need to raise their awareness and get them to develop skills for survival but this is not easy. We need 2 hands to clap together with other external factors, which are often contradicting.
Still, I know that the present will be memories for me. When I am on my deathbed, the memories will flash in my mind before I find my way to God.
Teachers' day is also a day related to Matt. Without Matt by my side and supporting me, I do not think that I can make it. As I have told him, he is my guardian angel who has been guiding me all these years. All my blessings now, are given by God, and Matt is one of them. This, I will never ever forget, even if I lose my memory one day.
Back home, I took out their gifts one by one and studied them. Some of them gave me handmade things such as artwork and cards. Some of them spent their money on gifts bought from the gift shop. I was praying that they had not spent too much money. As I went through the gifts, what really made me cry was the honest thoughts inscribed on the simple cards. They thanked me for what I have done for them and they told me that they understood why I scolded them. There is this girl who wrote to me in Mandarin. She is a very quiet student and she does not say much. Sometimes, I also wonder what goes on in her mind. But her letter to me was very simple and straightforward. She conveyed her thoughts to me through the beauty of words and she made something very simple for me. I can imagine her at home, sitting at her table, putting in all her efforts to ensure that there is no error and everything is as perfect as can be. That thought tugged at my heartstrings and I was simply too happy for words.
I am not perfect. There were times when I had made mistakes too. Yet, these children's affections for me makes me feel guilty because my expectations for myself are so high that I have not reached them yet. But these children accept me for who I am. As much as they do bring anxiety and stress into my life, they also bring that sense of joy the whole time.
That is why I sometimes feel that society is too harsh on these children. They are innocent. Yet, with the progress of the world today, they have to be subjected to the harsh dynamics of the environment. In order to protect them, I need to raise their awareness and get them to develop skills for survival but this is not easy. We need 2 hands to clap together with other external factors, which are often contradicting.
Still, I know that the present will be memories for me. When I am on my deathbed, the memories will flash in my mind before I find my way to God.
Teachers' day is also a day related to Matt. Without Matt by my side and supporting me, I do not think that I can make it. As I have told him, he is my guardian angel who has been guiding me all these years. All my blessings now, are given by God, and Matt is one of them. This, I will never ever forget, even if I lose my memory one day.
Dead Sea Scrolls
Matt and I went to the exhibition yesterday. As someone who is interested in Christianity, it was an avenue to find out more about the origin and perhaps interesting stories surrounding the development of Christianity over time.
First of all, what hit us was that the price of the tickets was kinda overpriced. For that small scale of exhibition and the limited artefacts that they had on display, (in comparison to Europe and Germany!!!) it did not warrant $20 (or approximately 10 Euros). The exibitions that I have been to in Germany cost about 5 to 7 Euros per person and the scale is much larger with more information (with translation) and artefacts. The attention given to details to ensure that visitors are transported to a different dimension during their visit is so much that one comes out of the exhibition refreshed with renewed perspectives. Sad to say, my expectations were not met.
Even so, I have to give credit to the organizer. Without this exhibition, I guess, the average singaporean will still be hiding in their shells and thinking that what they see is in their shell is all the world is about. I am not sure of the statistics but I am sure that Singaporeans and definitely not museum-goers. I guess they prefer shopping, karaoke etc more than learning about other realms of knowledge.
Although the ticket was overpriced and I did not get the feeling of being in a different dimension, I did leave the exhbition with some new knowledge. Names like William Tyndale, the man behind the original English bible, Martin Luther, Desiderius Erasmus and King James made an imprint on my brain. When the whole picture is presented before one, it makes things easier especially in seeing the inter-connectedness. But, as I have said earlier, the scale and depth of the exhibition did not do much justice to the beauty of the Theme.
http://www.williamtyndale.com/0welcomewilliamtyndale.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Tyndale
One detail about William Tyndale struck a cord with me. He was a gifted linguist who could speak 7 languages fluently and one could not tell which his native language was. It took me 30 years to finally see things clearly. It took me 30 years to find my faith and passion. And now, I have to work towards my passion and steer in the right direction. It will not be easy, but I know that I will be happier and that is the way for me to go.
I have been praying to God to give me the strength and courage. My circumstances present some challenges in me pursuing my dream. I beseech God to walk the journey with me and open my eyes and mind to clarity of the world around me. The past few weeks made me feel as if I was falling into quicksand. The quicksand is like the feelings that I have been experiencing: depression, isolation and sadness. I beseeched God to save me and pull me out of this quicksand. I beseeched God to teach me to place my faith and trust in him. For I am afterall a sinner who has been redeemed by God. I am so imperfect that God has to redeem me again and again. His Way and Word are still very much beyond my comprehension. And I can only pray that he continues to guide me and reveal his Love and Grace.
First of all, what hit us was that the price of the tickets was kinda overpriced. For that small scale of exhibition and the limited artefacts that they had on display, (in comparison to Europe and Germany!!!) it did not warrant $20 (or approximately 10 Euros). The exibitions that I have been to in Germany cost about 5 to 7 Euros per person and the scale is much larger with more information (with translation) and artefacts. The attention given to details to ensure that visitors are transported to a different dimension during their visit is so much that one comes out of the exhibition refreshed with renewed perspectives. Sad to say, my expectations were not met.
Even so, I have to give credit to the organizer. Without this exhibition, I guess, the average singaporean will still be hiding in their shells and thinking that what they see is in their shell is all the world is about. I am not sure of the statistics but I am sure that Singaporeans and definitely not museum-goers. I guess they prefer shopping, karaoke etc more than learning about other realms of knowledge.
Although the ticket was overpriced and I did not get the feeling of being in a different dimension, I did leave the exhbition with some new knowledge. Names like William Tyndale, the man behind the original English bible, Martin Luther, Desiderius Erasmus and King James made an imprint on my brain. When the whole picture is presented before one, it makes things easier especially in seeing the inter-connectedness. But, as I have said earlier, the scale and depth of the exhibition did not do much justice to the beauty of the Theme.
http://www.williamtyndale.com/0welcomewilliamtyndale.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Tyndale
One detail about William Tyndale struck a cord with me. He was a gifted linguist who could speak 7 languages fluently and one could not tell which his native language was. It took me 30 years to finally see things clearly. It took me 30 years to find my faith and passion. And now, I have to work towards my passion and steer in the right direction. It will not be easy, but I know that I will be happier and that is the way for me to go.
I have been praying to God to give me the strength and courage. My circumstances present some challenges in me pursuing my dream. I beseech God to walk the journey with me and open my eyes and mind to clarity of the world around me. The past few weeks made me feel as if I was falling into quicksand. The quicksand is like the feelings that I have been experiencing: depression, isolation and sadness. I beseeched God to save me and pull me out of this quicksand. I beseeched God to teach me to place my faith and trust in him. For I am afterall a sinner who has been redeemed by God. I am so imperfect that God has to redeem me again and again. His Way and Word are still very much beyond my comprehension. And I can only pray that he continues to guide me and reveal his Love and Grace.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Destivo - Dottore Amore 2008
Ein Leid mit Deutsche und Italianische Variante.
Ein Interview mit Destivo. Interessant!
Friday, August 07, 2009
Kennst du das Land wo die Zitronen bluehn
A video where one can hear the prose of Goethe. I simply love this. THe words are so beautiful! Thanks to Renate for introducing this to us!
Sunday, August 02, 2009
Quote
12.Maybe we should blame ourselves for not making the best of whatever situation we are in. Though some of us are in a much better situation than others. Remember, just because you want something to be a certain way, doesn't mean it has to be that way. Why should the world revolve around any one of us? I have a theory, if you don't expect anything from anything or anybody, then anything you do get is a bonus! Another point is that nobody can upset you, it's the way you react to what people do that upsets you, so basically you upset yourself. Sometimes it's easier to laugh things off than others. But it is our own attitude to life and it's what we think about ourselves and others that make the difference. Being possitive isn't always easy but it is always important! Have a nice day !!! Johny-B
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/blog/editors_corner/article/42207/2/#top-comments-nav
The above para is a quote from the above-mentioned website. I thought it is really apt in today's context where everyone is just not getting along with everyone else. We need to slow down to appreciate and think about our lives and our world. But can we?
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/blog/editors_corner/article/42207/2/#top-comments-nav
The above para is a quote from the above-mentioned website. I thought it is really apt in today's context where everyone is just not getting along with everyone else. We need to slow down to appreciate and think about our lives and our world. But can we?
Monday, July 27, 2009
Heute bin ich Krank. Ich habe Husten, Halsschmerzen und Kopfschmerzen. Ich bin nicht in die Schule gegangen. Momentan kann ich nur zu Hause bleiben und schlafen. Die Medikamente macht ich Schlaftrunken. Als ich fernsehe, kann ich nur an Deutschland denken.
Ich denke an das Wetter in Winter mit dem kalten Wind.
Ich denke an die Bäume entlang die Sträße.
Ich denke an den Geruch des Bratwurst in der Luft.
Ich denke an eine Szene, dass ich sehr entspannend in einem Cafe Kaffee trinken.
Ich denke an eine Szene, dass ich beim Fenster ein Buch lesen und Hausaufgaben machen.
Ich möchte Projecte und hausaufgaben mit anderen Studenten besprechen.
Ich will etwas neues lernen.
Ich hungere nach dem Wissen.
Ich will neue Abenteuer erfahren.
Dann kann ich am Leben sein.
Ich denke an das Wetter in Winter mit dem kalten Wind.
Ich denke an die Bäume entlang die Sträße.
Ich denke an den Geruch des Bratwurst in der Luft.
Ich denke an eine Szene, dass ich sehr entspannend in einem Cafe Kaffee trinken.
Ich denke an eine Szene, dass ich beim Fenster ein Buch lesen und Hausaufgaben machen.
Ich möchte Projecte und hausaufgaben mit anderen Studenten besprechen.
Ich will etwas neues lernen.
Ich hungere nach dem Wissen.
Ich will neue Abenteuer erfahren.
Dann kann ich am Leben sein.
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Joy of reading
I am still in a very good mood so far. All because of the wonderful time I spent reading at a cafe yesterday. It was so enjoyable and relaxing. I found myself a place at Coffee Club at Paragon yesterday, order a Cafe Latte and a Chicken Pie and sat down to read. And guess what?? I was reading a book about philosophers and philosophy in German!!! Yeah.... Oh my!!! What a wonderful language!! I read about Socrates, Plato, Aristotles, Pythagoras etc.... I was so engrossed in it. When my eyes are tired, I would pause for a while, take a sip of the wonderful creamy and smooth-bodied Latte and bite into the rather delicious chicken pie which I ordered.
This is simply heavenly!
This is simply heavenly!
Sunday, July 05, 2009
I was watching 'Britain's got Talent' last evening. As usual, the contestants did their act etc....What I really enjoy about such programmes is the courage that the contestants need to summon when their performance do not meet up to the expectations of the judges or the audience. It is not easy when people tell you that for whatever reasons, you are not good enough or you have the talent but have made other mistakes which contributed to the outcome. One needs to be very calm and cool in front of the thousands of audience.
Last evening, a 14-year-old girl was praised by the judges for having the talent to sing but criticised for choosing the wrong song. With a smile on her face, she accepted the comments and in the video clip which was shown earlier, she mentioned that she had given all her best for the show. If she does not make it through, she will give herself a pat on the back and tell herself to do better next time. More importantly, she mentioned that it makes a person stronger when one learns through experience and works harder to achieve his/her goals.
It was a reminder for me. In my whole life, I have made detours. I did not take the route which most people would have taken, in the context of this place when I am currently residing. Yet, I think, somehow, deep inside, I have become stronger and more optimistic in some aspects. I have also found the courage to pursue my dreams, which others may think lowly of. I have to be strong and constantly search for ways to reach my dreams, for it is only me who makes the difference between achievement and failure.
I wonder if the kids with whom I have contact with have thought about this. In today's context (here where I am living in), where the children are either so pamapered or neglected, I wonder if they will ever think about such things in life.
Last evening, a 14-year-old girl was praised by the judges for having the talent to sing but criticised for choosing the wrong song. With a smile on her face, she accepted the comments and in the video clip which was shown earlier, she mentioned that she had given all her best for the show. If she does not make it through, she will give herself a pat on the back and tell herself to do better next time. More importantly, she mentioned that it makes a person stronger when one learns through experience and works harder to achieve his/her goals.
It was a reminder for me. In my whole life, I have made detours. I did not take the route which most people would have taken, in the context of this place when I am currently residing. Yet, I think, somehow, deep inside, I have become stronger and more optimistic in some aspects. I have also found the courage to pursue my dreams, which others may think lowly of. I have to be strong and constantly search for ways to reach my dreams, for it is only me who makes the difference between achievement and failure.
I wonder if the kids with whom I have contact with have thought about this. In today's context (here where I am living in), where the children are either so pamapered or neglected, I wonder if they will ever think about such things in life.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
MJ ist gestorben.
Menschen aus der Welt weinen, weil sie sehr traurig sind. MJ hat eine speziale Rolle in ihren Leben gespielt. Sie mögen MJ sehr, nicht nur seine Musik. Ich weiss nicht so viel über MJ, nur seine Lied „We are the World“. Wenn ich das Lied höre, bin ich immer zu Tränen gerührt. Der Liedtext ist sehr sinnvoll.
Mit seiner Musik kann MJ die Gefangene in die Filippinen Kontakt gemacht. Heute sind die Gefangene nicht mehr die Verbrecher, sondern normalen Menschen, die Musik und Liebe in ihren Leben haben.
Das scheint echt die Kraft der Musik eines Sternes.
Menschen aus der Welt weinen, weil sie sehr traurig sind. MJ hat eine speziale Rolle in ihren Leben gespielt. Sie mögen MJ sehr, nicht nur seine Musik. Ich weiss nicht so viel über MJ, nur seine Lied „We are the World“. Wenn ich das Lied höre, bin ich immer zu Tränen gerührt. Der Liedtext ist sehr sinnvoll.
Mit seiner Musik kann MJ die Gefangene in die Filippinen Kontakt gemacht. Heute sind die Gefangene nicht mehr die Verbrecher, sondern normalen Menschen, die Musik und Liebe in ihren Leben haben.
Das scheint echt die Kraft der Musik eines Sternes.
Mit seiner Musik kann MJ die Gefangene in die Filippinen Kontakt gemacht. Heute sind die Gefangene nicht mehr die Verbrecher, sondern normalen Menschen, die Musik und Liebe in ihren Leben haben.
Das scheint echt die Kraft der Musik eines Sternes.
Menschen aus der Welt weinen, weil sie sehr traurig sind. MJ hat eine speziale Rolle in ihren Leben gespielt. Sie mögen MJ sehr, nicht nur seine Musik. Ich weiss nicht so viel über MJ, nur seine Lied „We are the World“. Wenn ich das Lied höre, bin ich immer zu Tränen gerührt. Der Liedtext ist sehr sinnvoll.
Mit seiner Musik kann MJ die Gefangene in die Filippinen Kontakt gemacht. Heute sind die Gefangene nicht mehr die Verbrecher, sondern normalen Menschen, die Musik und Liebe in ihren Leben haben.
Das scheint echt die Kraft der Musik eines Sternes.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Ohne Anstrengung sondern mit der Sonne und der Welle
Ich war in bali. Es gibt 2 große Schwimmbad und ein Jacuzzi Schimmbad im Hotel. Jeden Tag haben wir neben dem Schwimmbad gefrühstuckt. Als wir gefrühstuckt hätten, haben drei Musiker Balinesische Musik neben dem Schwimmbad gespielt. Das ist wunderbar!! Essen und Musik mit den Welle, Sonne und der frischen Brise. Die Kellner und Kellnerinnen sind immer sehr höflich und behutsam. Der Lebenstil ist sehr ruhig und langsam, ohne die Anstrengung.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Doin Doin - Ein Geschenk
Das hier ist Doin Doin. Er ist ein Geschenk von Matt an unserem Hochzeitstag. Er ist ein Kaninchen. Ich liebe Kaninchen. Ich finde sie sehr behutsam und verehrungswürdig. Ich habe einen Wunsch. In der Zukunft will ich ein Haus besitzen. In dem Garten habe ich ein paar Kaninchen. Im Sommer kann ich in dem Garten Tee trinken, ein Buch lesen, Kuchen essen und mit meiner behutsamen Kaninchen spielen. Das ist Wunderbar!!!!!
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Lernen
Ich war in Bali. Am Freitag bin ich nur im Hotel geblieben. Ich habe im Schwimmbad geschwommen und mich bei dem Schwimmbad gesonnt. Das Wetter war gut. Es gabt nicht nur die Sonne, sondern auch die Wind. In der nahe von mir waren ein Mann und sein Sohn. Sein Sohn ist etwa drei oder view Jahre alt. Der Mann hat versucht, sein Sohn schwimmen zu lehren. Er hat alles langsam und einfach zu seinem Sohn erklärt, wir man schwimmt kann.
Ich dachte an die Schüler hier. Sie müssen schnell viel lernen, ohne viel Hilfe von ihren Eltern. Deswegen haben die Schüler eine schlechte Einstellung zu lernen. Die Eltern der Schüler wissen am meistens auch nicht, wie sie ihre Kinder großziehen sollen. Sie drucken sich vor der Verantwortung mit Ausreden wie mangelhafte Zeit, oder das Unwissen. Das ärgert mich sehr. Wenn man keine Verantwortung nimmt, dann soll er/sie kein Kinder haben.
Ich dachte an die Schüler hier. Sie müssen schnell viel lernen, ohne viel Hilfe von ihren Eltern. Deswegen haben die Schüler eine schlechte Einstellung zu lernen. Die Eltern der Schüler wissen am meistens auch nicht, wie sie ihre Kinder großziehen sollen. Sie drucken sich vor der Verantwortung mit Ausreden wie mangelhafte Zeit, oder das Unwissen. Das ärgert mich sehr. Wenn man keine Verantwortung nimmt, dann soll er/sie kein Kinder haben.
I am still alive!!!
Yeah.....this thought was in my mind after the surfing experience in Bali. The thrill and excitment of the waves washing me to shore so many times kinda woke me up and brought me out of the rut which I had been in for the past so many months. The obsession with etiquette, social behaviour, results and achievement was pushing me into a corner. I had overlooked the fact that I am blessed with so many things in life. All I needed was a change in the lens through which i viewed the world and things happening around me.
When I was in Bali, I saw many things which are considered less privileged as compared to the place where I am currently living in. There was environmental pollution all around. People did not enjoy high-class cuisines or live in luxury housing. It was only the simplicity of being in one and harmony with the sea, sand and sun. It was only the simplicity of showing their gratitude and appreciation of the elements which keep them safe on the island of Bali through simply offerings made out of the leaves and flowers which are found in abundance in their natural environment.
Their humility towards one another brought about this atmosphere of serenity in which feelings such as anger and impatience never seem to exist at all. I noticed the transition and change in me. From a grumpy and discriminating person, I had simply become another person who was at peace with all around. I felt happy and relaxed and thankful.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Philippe Petit
Gestern hatte ich mit Matt „Man on Wire“ in Kino gesehen. Es ist ein französisches Film über einen Mann, der Phillippe Petit heißt. Er war und ist noch ein Hochseilartist. 1974 ist er auf dem Hochseil zwischen den Türme des World Trade Centres in die USA übergeführt. Phllippe ist auf dem Hochseil acht Male zwischen die Twin Towers in einer Stunde übergeführt. Wahrend dieser Zeit hat er auf dem Hochseil gesessen, sich auf dem Hochseil hingelegt, kniete sich hink, und mit der Möwe gesprochen.
Phillipe war 417 m hoch auf dem Hochseil in der Luft ohne Sicherheitsvorrichtung oder Schutzanzug. Die Strecke zwischen die zwei Türme ist 43 m weit.
Nach diesem Akt wurde Phillippe festgenommen. Aufgrund seiner Bericherstattung in der Median und der weltweiten Anerkennung seiner Leistung wurde Phillipe frei gelassen. Später bekam er auch eine Dauerkarte dür die Aussichtsplattform des World Trade Centres . Unglaublich!!
Bis zu dieser Punkt fand ich Philippe einen interessanten Mann. Wegen seiner Leidenschaft für seine Fähigkeit und Abendteuer hat er den gefährlichen Akt sechs Jahrelang geplant. Ich ziehe den Hut vor ihm, weil er den Mut gefunden hat, seine Leidenschaft im Leben zu erreichen.
Phillipe war 417 m hoch auf dem Hochseil in der Luft ohne Sicherheitsvorrichtung oder Schutzanzug. Die Strecke zwischen die zwei Türme ist 43 m weit.
Nach diesem Akt wurde Phillippe festgenommen. Aufgrund seiner Bericherstattung in der Median und der weltweiten Anerkennung seiner Leistung wurde Phillipe frei gelassen. Später bekam er auch eine Dauerkarte dür die Aussichtsplattform des World Trade Centres . Unglaublich!!
Bis zu dieser Punkt fand ich Philippe einen interessanten Mann. Wegen seiner Leidenschaft für seine Fähigkeit und Abendteuer hat er den gefährlichen Akt sechs Jahrelang geplant. Ich ziehe den Hut vor ihm, weil er den Mut gefunden hat, seine Leidenschaft im Leben zu erreichen.
Sunday, June 07, 2009
F4 - Emotions evoked during the drama
Yesterday, I managed to squeeze out some time to chill out in front of the TV. Most of the time, I would be reading, doing my assignments, marking etc. I simply put aside everything yesterday and declared it a 'holiday' for me. And the box was switched on. I enjoyed the 1.5 h of drama although I had watched it many years before (the Taiwanese version). The scene of a handsome guy coming to the aid of a girl at that critical moment really touched me. I have always longed for a Prince Charming, someone who would come to my aid and support me in times of need. Of course, I have found one. That moment of security and care and love is simply so sweet that I was in a daze for a while. I escaped into a world of fantasy and perfection during those moments.
If that scene had been accompanied with soothing music, it would simply be perfect. Comparing the Taiwanese and Korean version of that scene, I still prefer the Taiwanese version. Hmmmmm....... the screening of this particular drama really is timely considering the fact that I won't have the time to enjoy it during term time.
If that scene had been accompanied with soothing music, it would simply be perfect. Comparing the Taiwanese and Korean version of that scene, I still prefer the Taiwanese version. Hmmmmm....... the screening of this particular drama really is timely considering the fact that I won't have the time to enjoy it during term time.
Saint Raphael
Besides Raphael, Michael and Gabriel are the only Archangels mentioned by name in the bible. Raphael's name means "God heals." This identity came about because of the biblical story which claims that he "healed" the earth when it was defiled by the sins of the fallen angels in the apocryphal book of Enoch.
Raphael is also identified as the angel who moved the waters of the healing sheep pool. He is also the patron of the blind, of happy meetings, of nurses, of physicians and of travelers. His feast day is celebrated on September 29th.
I chose 'Raphaellia' as my baptismal name because it means "God heals". Somehow, the idea of healing others came to my mind. My calling is to heal others and of course myself through the many different ways that God has planned for me. And I pray that God is making good use of my place on earth to provide healing to those who need it.
Raphael is also identified as the angel who moved the waters of the healing sheep pool. He is also the patron of the blind, of happy meetings, of nurses, of physicians and of travelers. His feast day is celebrated on September 29th.
I chose 'Raphaellia' as my baptismal name because it means "God heals". Somehow, the idea of healing others came to my mind. My calling is to heal others and of course myself through the many different ways that God has planned for me. And I pray that God is making good use of my place on earth to provide healing to those who need it.
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Heute habe ich N getroffen. Wir haben zusammen im Restaurant im Flugehfen gegessen. Als ich im Flughafen war, habe ich viele Flugzeuge gesehen. Ich kann nur an Deutschland und Freiheit denken. Obwohl ich nicht in Deutschland geboren war, habe ich immer das Gefühl, dass ich nur zu Deutschland gehöre. Es klingt sehr komisch zu anderen.
Meine Freundin hat mir gefragt, was genau ist der Grund meines starken Gefühl. Ich kann sie nicht gut antworten. Es ist einfach ein starkes Gefühl, das ich in meinem Herz und Körper habe.
Wenn ich die Flugzeuge sehe, habe ich gewünscht, dass ich kann auch fliegen. Nach Deutschland, und Europa will ich fligen, um Freiheit und meinen Sinn im Leben zu finden.
Meine Freundin hat mir gefragt, was genau ist der Grund meines starken Gefühl. Ich kann sie nicht gut antworten. Es ist einfach ein starkes Gefühl, das ich in meinem Herz und Körper habe.
Wenn ich die Flugzeuge sehe, habe ich gewünscht, dass ich kann auch fliegen. Nach Deutschland, und Europa will ich fligen, um Freiheit und meinen Sinn im Leben zu finden.
Factors not within my control
Today, I met N for lunch/tea after the signing of the contract. We chatted and ultimately still touched on the issue of education. He mentioned his mentor and the role his mentor played. He also mentioned his primary school teacher and how she managed the class.
I shared about my current class of pupils. So far, I have often come to the conclusion that caregivers/parents/guardians play a very important role in the moulding and development of a child. Generally, we see two main groups of children in most places. One group of children have everything they want since birth. They are exposed to many different aspects of the world through the access to technology and transport. The other group is made up of children who are totally clueless as to what is going on around them. The things which preoccupy their minds would usually be play, sleep and fun. Nothing else really matters. They have limited or no access to the outside world and technology. All they know would be the school they attend and the home/homes in which they live in. They do not really know about the other groups of people living in another country.
As much as I wish to show them the world, time is limited. Exams and results still take priority. Character, world views etc do not really matter to them or their caregivers.
This really irks me. The world is so big and interesting. It is not only the school and home. Yet, caregivers often send out messages which do not encourage children to explore the world.
Well, you can say that it is the society and the cultural norms which cause caregivers to act the way they do now. From my perspective, that is not an excuse. It is up to one to move to read and learn and better themselves. Yet, many choose the easy way out of being passive. They probably think that as long as they have a stable job in a safe environment, everything will be ok. They have not considered the meaning of life perhaps. Or perhaps, their levels of risk tolerance is even lower than mine.
Dear Lord,
Please help me not to judge others. It is not right for me to impose my ideals and philosophy on them. Teach me to accept the diversity in the world. Please forgive me for the negative thoughts and the anger that I have inside me. Teach me to be patient. Teach me to be more tolerant.
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, amen.
I shared about my current class of pupils. So far, I have often come to the conclusion that caregivers/parents/guardians play a very important role in the moulding and development of a child. Generally, we see two main groups of children in most places. One group of children have everything they want since birth. They are exposed to many different aspects of the world through the access to technology and transport. The other group is made up of children who are totally clueless as to what is going on around them. The things which preoccupy their minds would usually be play, sleep and fun. Nothing else really matters. They have limited or no access to the outside world and technology. All they know would be the school they attend and the home/homes in which they live in. They do not really know about the other groups of people living in another country.
As much as I wish to show them the world, time is limited. Exams and results still take priority. Character, world views etc do not really matter to them or their caregivers.
This really irks me. The world is so big and interesting. It is not only the school and home. Yet, caregivers often send out messages which do not encourage children to explore the world.
Well, you can say that it is the society and the cultural norms which cause caregivers to act the way they do now. From my perspective, that is not an excuse. It is up to one to move to read and learn and better themselves. Yet, many choose the easy way out of being passive. They probably think that as long as they have a stable job in a safe environment, everything will be ok. They have not considered the meaning of life perhaps. Or perhaps, their levels of risk tolerance is even lower than mine.
Dear Lord,
Please help me not to judge others. It is not right for me to impose my ideals and philosophy on them. Teach me to accept the diversity in the world. Please forgive me for the negative thoughts and the anger that I have inside me. Teach me to be patient. Teach me to be more tolerant.
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, amen.
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Edith Piaf
Reminds me of the life story of Edith Piaf. How she fought against the turbulant times to pursue her passion. Of course, amidst those times, she fell at times. But I really admire her for giving all she has in her life's passion. And she takes pride in it. She has the courage to face the consequences of her choices, steadfast, never regretting.
Monday, June 01, 2009
Take these wings
The very first song which touched my heart when I sang it in San Franscico. It still tugs at my heart strings today. The melody is so nice. When a choir can sing this song in harmony, it simply melts a person's heart. I remember tears rolling down my face when I sang this with TP choir in US. God touched my heart the very first time then. And the Lord has led me back home again.
Deutschland!!! I miss you so much!!!
I cannot wait to get back to Germany. Perhaps it is the only place I feel at home. The gothic architecture of the buildings and churches, the cold winter air, the smell of bratwurst in the air, the presence of so many museums and books and history....oh!!!! And the availability of so many different kinds of delicious cakes!! Yummy!!
I really miss the time in Bonn. These photos really bring back some memories........
A breather
Finally, I can take some time off to recuperate and recharge. It seems so much better putting work aside for a while. My mind can focus on other things such as world issues, poverty, human relations, meaning of life etc.....
Yesterday, Daniel had his traditional wedding lunch. Well, if we look at the procedures etc, everything was kept simple. Hmm....what struck me was how out of place I felt. The faces were familiar, but everything else was alien, simply extremely alien. So alien that I wished I was not there at all. I looked at the people, I observed their behaviour. I just could not stand being near them. The moment they came near me, I wanted to rocket away immediately. There was no trust, only fear and disgust. Their eyes were like x-ray machines, constantly scanning and judging. I hate this feeling. Ever since the day I was born, I was being judged constantly, not appreciated. They passed judgements but never considered the emotions of the accused. They passed judgements, but never on themselves. I do not want to be associated with them. I do not want to have anything to do with those people. They make me feel insecure. Or, put it the other way, I have not been able to trust them all these years.
Over time, the wall has just grown thicker and thicker and the temperature has simply fallen way below freezing point.
I really have been born in the wrong place and wrong family. But I can choose the life that I want to lead and fight for my freedom. This I do every moment in my life, to the best of my ability.
Yesterday, Daniel had his traditional wedding lunch. Well, if we look at the procedures etc, everything was kept simple. Hmm....what struck me was how out of place I felt. The faces were familiar, but everything else was alien, simply extremely alien. So alien that I wished I was not there at all. I looked at the people, I observed their behaviour. I just could not stand being near them. The moment they came near me, I wanted to rocket away immediately. There was no trust, only fear and disgust. Their eyes were like x-ray machines, constantly scanning and judging. I hate this feeling. Ever since the day I was born, I was being judged constantly, not appreciated. They passed judgements but never considered the emotions of the accused. They passed judgements, but never on themselves. I do not want to be associated with them. I do not want to have anything to do with those people. They make me feel insecure. Or, put it the other way, I have not been able to trust them all these years.
Over time, the wall has just grown thicker and thicker and the temperature has simply fallen way below freezing point.
I really have been born in the wrong place and wrong family. But I can choose the life that I want to lead and fight for my freedom. This I do every moment in my life, to the best of my ability.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Insignificant
There was a special event today. Someone is leaving. As everyone left the hall, I sat at the back with KO. Together, for that very few moments, we soaked in the atmosphere. A mixture of joy and sadness.
Over time, it seems to me, that everything seems so small. The moments of joy and laughter, or sadness and unhappiness, become only memories in our minds. As we move on, some of the memories disappear with the wind. Some of the memories will go to the grave with us. I wonder, all the memories that I have in my life would all disappear. There are some which I want to hold on to. There are some I really want to throw them away.
On this basis, I wonder too, if I should be so adamant about things in life. Perhaps I should not be so serious. Perhaps I should not be so serious. Perhaps I should be invisible, just like that air that we breathe. So that no one will notice me, the feelings of hurt can be lesser.
Over time, it seems to me, that everything seems so small. The moments of joy and laughter, or sadness and unhappiness, become only memories in our minds. As we move on, some of the memories disappear with the wind. Some of the memories will go to the grave with us. I wonder, all the memories that I have in my life would all disappear. There are some which I want to hold on to. There are some I really want to throw them away.
On this basis, I wonder too, if I should be so adamant about things in life. Perhaps I should not be so serious. Perhaps I should not be so serious. Perhaps I should be invisible, just like that air that we breathe. So that no one will notice me, the feelings of hurt can be lesser.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Cannot breathe!!!
As the days go by, I find it more and more stifling here. At work, I begin to see that the joy of learning is being lost as political agenda is the focus. On the streets, I find that people are inconsiderate, selfish, ignorant, irresponsible and ugly. I see irresponsible parents who do not fulfil their core responsibilities resulting in ignorant and simply disgusting children. I see people who think that they are simply superior when they are not. I only find beauty in non-living things. Such the the concrete structure of the church building. Or perhaps sometimes in the leaves and trees which I pass by.
Lord,
Please teach me to see the good and beauty around me. Please do not let me be blind. Teach me not to judge others by my own tainted eyes, eyes which have been tainted with sins and imperfections. Help me Lord. Please.
Amen.
Lord,
Please teach me to see the good and beauty around me. Please do not let me be blind. Teach me not to judge others by my own tainted eyes, eyes which have been tainted with sins and imperfections. Help me Lord. Please.
Amen.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Thoughts of Kopenhagen....Images which keep occurring in my mind
These are the views which I used to enjoy in winter in Kopenhagen. They are simply so beautiful in my eyes that no words can describe. My heart longs for the peace and quiet in the cold winter wind where one is in heaven with God's everlasting love and grace.
High Blood Pressure!!!
Oh My God!!!! My blood pressure yesterday was 130/90. If I hit 140/90, that would warrant some serious medical attention. Just read up about it. Hmm.....I wonder what is happening to me?
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Occupational Hazard
So, it has been verified. Now, I am finally diagnosed with the condition of migraine. But this time round, it came together with my existing condition of tension headache. It is terrible. A few days ago, my vision was blurred. I had problems breathing when I slept at night. And when the pain comes, it hits so hard as if my head had been hammered not just once but many times over and over again till my skull seemed to be on the verge of cracking. I paid a visit to the doctor just now and had my blood pressure taken. My my!! Doc said it was on the high side and asked me to be careful. He asked if I had been stressed out lately. I replied YES!!! Explained the whole story about marking my students' scripts and things like that.....
Hmmmm.....occupational hazard. I cannot stop worrying about my students. I think I will not be able to draw the line in the near future. Perhaps a few more years in the system and I might be able to do it.
Doc wanted me to rest at home and wanted to give me MC. For some reason, the moment I heard the word 'MC', and saw that he had written it down on my records, I immediately shook my head and refused. I told him that I need to be in school. NO MC!. Guess my sudden reaction really shocked him. He had this funny look on his face despite having a mask on. Heehee...Jo is over-reacting again!!!!
Hmmmm.....occupational hazard. I cannot stop worrying about my students. I think I will not be able to draw the line in the near future. Perhaps a few more years in the system and I might be able to do it.
Doc wanted me to rest at home and wanted to give me MC. For some reason, the moment I heard the word 'MC', and saw that he had written it down on my records, I immediately shook my head and refused. I told him that I need to be in school. NO MC!. Guess my sudden reaction really shocked him. He had this funny look on his face despite having a mask on. Heehee...Jo is over-reacting again!!!!
Saturday, May 09, 2009
A prayer
Dear Lord,
Where am I heading to? It seems that I am running out of time. I have found my passion and interest but at a later stage in life. Now, I have many other commitments and factors to fight against in the process of pursuing my passion and interest. I am worried. I am scared. Please guide me, Lord. Please lead me on the right path. Give me the strength and perseverance to work through the hardships. Give me the wisdom to make the right decisions. Stay with me, dear Lord. Be with me. Teach me to place my faith and trust in You as You reveal the mysteries in my life as the seconds pass by each day.
Amen.
Where am I heading to? It seems that I am running out of time. I have found my passion and interest but at a later stage in life. Now, I have many other commitments and factors to fight against in the process of pursuing my passion and interest. I am worried. I am scared. Please guide me, Lord. Please lead me on the right path. Give me the strength and perseverance to work through the hardships. Give me the wisdom to make the right decisions. Stay with me, dear Lord. Be with me. Teach me to place my faith and trust in You as You reveal the mysteries in my life as the seconds pass by each day.
Amen.
Boring.....
It has been a day without work today. Finally, for one day, I did not do any marking or anything which is related to work. I slept in today and went out for lunch and took a walk in town. There wasn't anything much to mention. The usual shopping outlets, the usual dining restaurants, the usual crowd in town.
Hmmm....this is depressing.....there is no place around here where I can enjoy the natural surroundings or read a book in peace. The place which I am comparing to is Copenhagen. I remember very vividly the times I simply went down three storeys of spiral staircase, crossed a road where there is hardly any traffic at all, watched the swans and ducks land on the surface of the pond so gracefully, and find myself a comfortable bench where I could read and enjoy literature in the cold winter air.
Here. There is nothing much for me to enjoy or look forward to. There is nothing about nature which we can talk about. It is something which is not easily accessible to, nor is it something which I would want to appreciate considering the kind of external environment present. Sigh.......it is depressing...everything looks bleak......there is nothing left.....simply nothing.......
Hmmm....this is depressing.....there is no place around here where I can enjoy the natural surroundings or read a book in peace. The place which I am comparing to is Copenhagen. I remember very vividly the times I simply went down three storeys of spiral staircase, crossed a road where there is hardly any traffic at all, watched the swans and ducks land on the surface of the pond so gracefully, and find myself a comfortable bench where I could read and enjoy literature in the cold winter air.
Here. There is nothing much for me to enjoy or look forward to. There is nothing about nature which we can talk about. It is something which is not easily accessible to, nor is it something which I would want to appreciate considering the kind of external environment present. Sigh.......it is depressing...everything looks bleak......there is nothing left.....simply nothing.......
Friday, May 01, 2009
Was ist mein Traum?
Letzten Dienstag hat unsere Lehrerin uns gefragt, ob wir einen Traum haben. Als wir jungen waren, was haben wir für einen Traum? Ich überlegte ein paar Sekunden. Ja. Ich hatte viele Träume, als ich junger war. Ich wollte die Welt sehen und erfahren. Ich wollte Freiheit. Ich wollte etwas aufregend machen. Ich wollte nach Deutschland fahren und da bleiben. Ich wollte Studentin in Deutschland sein.
Viele Jahre später habe ich noch die Träume. Nach diesen vergangenden Jahren habe ich etwas erreichen. Ich habe nach Europa gereist und ein paar Länder besucht. Ich habe ein paar Leute kennegelernt. Ich bin in Dresden und Köln geblieben. Ich habe einen Jahr in Kopenhagen gewohnt. Ich habe viel gelernt und studiert.
Man kann sagen, dass ich sehr glücklich bin. Ich habe jetzt eine Wohnung, eines Auto, eine Stelle und einen sehr netten Mann. Ich sollte glücklich sein. Ja. Ich bin dankbar.
Zur Zeit denke ich über die Zukunft. Was kann ich machen? Was muss ich machen? Was soll ich machen? I will noch meine Traüme erfüllen. Die Menschen in die Arbeitsumgebeung und die Menschen in meine Gesellschaft nehmen nicht meine Meinung an. Das ist kein Problem. Wir haben immer unterschiedliche Meinungen. Leider haben die Menschen mich gerichtet, nicht respektieren. Ich finde das ungerecht.
Viele Jahre später habe ich noch die Träume. Nach diesen vergangenden Jahren habe ich etwas erreichen. Ich habe nach Europa gereist und ein paar Länder besucht. Ich habe ein paar Leute kennegelernt. Ich bin in Dresden und Köln geblieben. Ich habe einen Jahr in Kopenhagen gewohnt. Ich habe viel gelernt und studiert.
Man kann sagen, dass ich sehr glücklich bin. Ich habe jetzt eine Wohnung, eines Auto, eine Stelle und einen sehr netten Mann. Ich sollte glücklich sein. Ja. Ich bin dankbar.
Zur Zeit denke ich über die Zukunft. Was kann ich machen? Was muss ich machen? Was soll ich machen? I will noch meine Traüme erfüllen. Die Menschen in die Arbeitsumgebeung und die Menschen in meine Gesellschaft nehmen nicht meine Meinung an. Das ist kein Problem. Wir haben immer unterschiedliche Meinungen. Leider haben die Menschen mich gerichtet, nicht respektieren. Ich finde das ungerecht.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Das neue Semester hat angefangen. Wir haben einen neuen Lehrer. Er heißt Ulf Mielke. Wie ein typische Mann, Herr Mielke hat ein seriöses Lehrstil. Er ist gut organisiert. Mit Herr Mielke arbeiten die Studenten wahrscheinlich fleißiger. Dass ist gut. Dann können wir gut lernen.
Jetzt muss ich das neues Buch anfangen. Der Buchtitel ist „Haus der Schildkröten”. Annette Pehnt hat das Buch geschrieben. Ich hoffe, dass ich etwas lernen kann.
Jetzt muss ich das neues Buch anfangen. Der Buchtitel ist „Haus der Schildkröten”. Annette Pehnt hat das Buch geschrieben. Ich hoffe, dass ich etwas lernen kann.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Lunch
Here I am....gobbling down my food after a long day of lessons...or rather, a hectic morning. Hmm....it may look like a simple dish of fried bee hoon...but i enjoyed it totally knowing that it was Matt who prepared it for me.
Lately, I have been so busy at work especially with the exams etc. Basic needs such as food are slowly beginning to elude me. I go about completing my tasks that I have sometimes forgotten to eat until my hunger pangs threaten to kill me and knock me out.....
Lately, I have been so busy at work especially with the exams etc. Basic needs such as food are slowly beginning to elude me. I go about completing my tasks that I have sometimes forgotten to eat until my hunger pangs threaten to kill me and knock me out.....
Thursday, February 26, 2009
AMEC
A practising musician....that is the only way one can truly understand the process and life of people who try to perfect their art and talent while living in an extremely practical world here. As much as we like to to appreciate art and music, we do have to acknowledge that it is difficult to make a living here where I live in. People have such pragmatic mindsets that they no longer are open to the different aspects of the beauty of music.
Someone said this. "In our system, we do not expect each and everyone of our music students to be performing musicians. But, at the very least, they need to exude that aura of musicianship."
It is true. Other than being extremely talented, one needs the opportunity at the right time and right place to realise one's dream of being a musician. One needs to be very blessed.
Perhaps I will not be a musician. But I can still enjoy music through my hard work on the keyboard and sight-reading. Now that I have my lovely hubby to share this joy with me, it makes music even more meaningful and beautiful. Both of us are starting, considering the fact that he has just started his music lessons and my fingers have left the keyboard for more than ten years. But it is all the more wonderful because we are on this learning journey together. Together, just like our relationship, we work hard at it to bring it to perfection. Together, we help each other overcome obstacles and we try to understand each other's challenges. I really think that it is wonderful. These are memories which are unique to the both of us as time passes by in such a fluid manner that we hardly realise that.
Someone said this. "In our system, we do not expect each and everyone of our music students to be performing musicians. But, at the very least, they need to exude that aura of musicianship."
It is true. Other than being extremely talented, one needs the opportunity at the right time and right place to realise one's dream of being a musician. One needs to be very blessed.
Perhaps I will not be a musician. But I can still enjoy music through my hard work on the keyboard and sight-reading. Now that I have my lovely hubby to share this joy with me, it makes music even more meaningful and beautiful. Both of us are starting, considering the fact that he has just started his music lessons and my fingers have left the keyboard for more than ten years. But it is all the more wonderful because we are on this learning journey together. Together, just like our relationship, we work hard at it to bring it to perfection. Together, we help each other overcome obstacles and we try to understand each other's challenges. I really think that it is wonderful. These are memories which are unique to the both of us as time passes by in such a fluid manner that we hardly realise that.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
A Traffic Junction
I guess I have arrived at a Traffic Junction where the lights have turned red. I have to stop and wait. While waiting, I ask myself if I had fulfilled my responsibilities? Well, in some aspects, I have done well, in some aspects, not so well.
And I question if it is because I had been lazy or if I had made some bad decisions. Well, I have not been lazy, I can say that for sure. As for bad decisions, maybe? I doubt so. That leads me to ask if there were some factors or conditions which were out of my control.
My Lord knows how hard I have tried both in school and at home. I am constantly pushing myself although I know that I have to strike a balance somewhere.
Dear Lord,
You know what I think. You know how hard I have tried to be a good teacher and a good wife/partner/friend. I will still continue to try to be the best that I can be. I only pray that you guide me and comfort me and give me the strength to carry on when there seems to be only darkness ahead. Thank you , dear Lord, for all the blessings that you have showered upon me. Born a sinner, I have been cleansed by your grace and with this, I am grateful.
Teach me to listen to you, dear Lord, in all ways possible. Guide me and help me be your tool of peace, love and joy.
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
And I question if it is because I had been lazy or if I had made some bad decisions. Well, I have not been lazy, I can say that for sure. As for bad decisions, maybe? I doubt so. That leads me to ask if there were some factors or conditions which were out of my control.
My Lord knows how hard I have tried both in school and at home. I am constantly pushing myself although I know that I have to strike a balance somewhere.
Dear Lord,
You know what I think. You know how hard I have tried to be a good teacher and a good wife/partner/friend. I will still continue to try to be the best that I can be. I only pray that you guide me and comfort me and give me the strength to carry on when there seems to be only darkness ahead. Thank you , dear Lord, for all the blessings that you have showered upon me. Born a sinner, I have been cleansed by your grace and with this, I am grateful.
Teach me to listen to you, dear Lord, in all ways possible. Guide me and help me be your tool of peace, love and joy.
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
A bruise on my wrist
I now have a large bruise on my wrist....it hurts especially when i use my right hand very often. The actions of a particular pupil of mine made me so angry that I screamed my top off and banged the table so many times so hard that I caused a bruise to develop.
Matt said that I should not have over-reacted. Well, I wish I could.
I sometimes wonder why some people exist for no reason at all. They do not conform to society. Neither are they responsible for themselves....They are just like rotten apples, there to rot and give off a stench which irks others...
No matter what others do to help them, they simply do not care. And I really hate that attitude, especially when it comes to learning.
Well, so I am the only one suffering while that person goes on his ways. Am I not stupid?
Matt said that I should not have over-reacted. Well, I wish I could.
I sometimes wonder why some people exist for no reason at all. They do not conform to society. Neither are they responsible for themselves....They are just like rotten apples, there to rot and give off a stench which irks others...
No matter what others do to help them, they simply do not care. And I really hate that attitude, especially when it comes to learning.
Well, so I am the only one suffering while that person goes on his ways. Am I not stupid?
Sunday, February 08, 2009
Matt playing the piano
I think about yesterday. Matt was in the small tiny room learning how to play the piano from his teacher. It was such a beautiful sight and the feeling was wonderful simply observing my hubby picking up a skill. I dream of the days ahead when both of us can play the piano together and enjoy the process of making music. It has been a while since I played the piano. My fingers are probably quite stiff now. But I hope and pray that one day, I will be able to play the piano well enough again. I simply love playing the piano. But as days go by without someone to share the passion with me, I slipped away from it. Now, Matt is here to share the joy with me!
Ein klavier
Matt hat uns ein neues Klavier gekauft. Ich bin sehr glücklich. Das Klavier kommt am nächsten Samstag. Matt hat schon einmal in die Musikschule gegangen. Ich hoffe, dass wir konnen zusammen Musik spielen. Das wäre sehr entspannend. Musik spielt eine wichtige Rolle in meinem Leben. Ohne Musik wird es sehr langweilig und Bedeutungslos. Ich wunsche nach die Gelegenheit noch einmal das Klavier gut zu spielen. Ich wunsche dass, ich könnte schöne Musik auf dem Klavier spielen. Ich hoffe, dass ich könnte meine Leidenschaft mit anderen Leuten teilen.
Vielen Dank Liebe Gott. Sie verstehen mich. Sie wissen was ich immer denken. Mit Ihnen habe ich die Sicherheit, dass alles gut wird. Sie haben alles geplant. Ich muss nur hart arbeiten und mich auf Sie verlassen.
The First 5 Weeks
School has started for 5 weeks already. For the first 5 weeks, I was like a crazy woman rushing to get things done....First, there was the CCA Carnival. Then CNY. Then AMEC. Amidst all these things happening, I had to catch up on my marking, especially compos and situational writings....
I haven't had enough sleep and that is why the dark circles below my eyes are becoming worse.
Things are getting more challenging as I am taking on more responsibilities and also building up my management skills at the same time. I am grateful for the opportunities given to me by my boss. Indirectly, it is God who is helping me. On the surface, it seems as though the management is developing me as the next liner. But I know that God is preparing me to do his work. All the opportunities that I have now is part of God's plan. And I know that all I have to do is to put in my best and learn as much as I can so that I can be God's instument to spread love all around.
Dear Lord,
Teach me to be patient. Teach me to be kind. Teach me to be grateful to all around me for good things and bad things which happen to me are all lessons to be learnt.
I give thanks to you Lord, for the wonderful husband who has been by my side all along supporting me all this while.
Thank you Lord.
Amen.
I haven't had enough sleep and that is why the dark circles below my eyes are becoming worse.
Things are getting more challenging as I am taking on more responsibilities and also building up my management skills at the same time. I am grateful for the opportunities given to me by my boss. Indirectly, it is God who is helping me. On the surface, it seems as though the management is developing me as the next liner. But I know that God is preparing me to do his work. All the opportunities that I have now is part of God's plan. And I know that all I have to do is to put in my best and learn as much as I can so that I can be God's instument to spread love all around.
Dear Lord,
Teach me to be patient. Teach me to be kind. Teach me to be grateful to all around me for good things and bad things which happen to me are all lessons to be learnt.
I give thanks to you Lord, for the wonderful husband who has been by my side all along supporting me all this while.
Thank you Lord.
Amen.
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