Stop being so NAIVE!!!!!

To Jo....

Hey you stupid woman!! Wake up....you know it will never happen. Why spend so much money on renovation and just stay there for a few months or a couple of years? Be prepared to land yourself into another shit hole and die miserably!!!! Live as if you are living in a hostel;but living in a hostel makes me feel much more comfortable than anything else because I still have some freedom at least to do what I want without having watchful eyes following me all the time. And I do not have to account for my absence to anyone.

No more privacy, no more showing of affection to him anywhere else except in the room. No more space to do your private stuff, no more space for anything else. Even if there is, you can forget about it because there will be someone watching you.

Just hide yourself in the room and work all day or surf the Internet all day. Forget about watching tv, forget about listening to music except thru ur earphones. Forget about cooking anything because you will be crossing the space boundary. Be prepared to hear someone nagging at you to have the customary ceremony. Be prepared to force yourself to talk even when you are tired. Prepare to wear that smiley face on your face no matter how much discomfort you feel. Be prepared to spend time alone out of the house. Cry your heart out at the ocean where the wind will dry your tears and comfort you rather than the person you love.

Why did I choose to be with someone who is not my ideal kind of guy? Well, jo. There is no ideal guy for you. Chances are there never will be. Be glad that there is someone who cares for you at the minimum and is willing to take care of you. Why should you ask for more? DO you deserve it? No, you don't!!

Fear is the emotion driving you towards insanity. You do not know how to express your fear. It is made worse by the fact that he does not tell you what he thinks till the final moment. It is made worse by the fact that he does not share with you anything other than remarks and comments on the surface.

You over-react. Things are not confirmed yet. We do not know what will happen in the future. So why are you worrying yourself excessively now? YOu are so F***** up!!!