Finally, the full force of snow has arrived. It has been snowing since last night and the roads and building are all covered in a thick sheet of white. Even ice has formed on my windows. I opened the window and there is about 3 cm of snow on my winder sill. With my palm, I grabbed a ball of snow and I made a snowball. I took the snowball indoor and it took some time before the snow turned to ice and the ice turned to water.
It is such a beautiful sight.Snow flakes flying all around. Everything is covered with a thick blanket of white. It is just so amazing. I could sit here and watch the snow fall all day. Of course, with a cup of coffee and a book in hand. :)
I just wish that I will get to live through more winters and experience the beauty of it in future.
Amen.
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Nature's gift.....Snow
Today, I saw the snow falling down... The only thing is that the snow does not fall down straight like the rain. The snow flakes swirl and twirl all around performing their dance to applause the great work of Mother Nature before reaching the ground and melting onto the surface they fall upon. It is so pretty. There a big snow flakes and small ones. Regardless whether they are big or small, they are all so pretty. Imagine being surround by all of them dancing with you and celebrating life. Look beyond the snow flakes and look around you. The cars and buildings and street lamps are all covered in a sheet of white. It is as if Winter is trying to shelter you from the cold wind by giving you a blanket, although the blanket does not really warm you.
Imagine that the snow flakes are little fairies and angels. The fairies and angels are dancing around you to show you that there is beauty in thie world and that we should all celebrate life. The fact that we are alive and enjoying the gifts of Mother Nature is good enough for us to smile and put the angry and ugly thoughts aside. The angels and fairies are also telling me that I should count my blessings for not everyone on earth is enjoying the luxuries of life that I have now. Not everyone has food on their table. Not everyone has a roof over their heads to shelter them from the harsh weather.
Thinking along this line, I feel less anger now. Perhaps I should internalize the understanding that I should learn to accept that there are things I cannot change and there are things that I can change. Some changes go a long way, whereas some do not. Think about what I can teach the little ones so that they lead a meaningful life, instead of thinking about the negative thoughts of living temporarily with his parents. Think about my career rather than the stupid wedding ceremony. Think of things which have a greater impact on the children of tomorrow for they bring much more satisfaction and help me feel real.
Thank you Lord for the learnings and realizations this day. I pray for peace to all on Earth. I pray that XY will also start off 2006 with something good.
Amen.
Imagine that the snow flakes are little fairies and angels. The fairies and angels are dancing around you to show you that there is beauty in thie world and that we should all celebrate life. The fact that we are alive and enjoying the gifts of Mother Nature is good enough for us to smile and put the angry and ugly thoughts aside. The angels and fairies are also telling me that I should count my blessings for not everyone on earth is enjoying the luxuries of life that I have now. Not everyone has food on their table. Not everyone has a roof over their heads to shelter them from the harsh weather.
Thinking along this line, I feel less anger now. Perhaps I should internalize the understanding that I should learn to accept that there are things I cannot change and there are things that I can change. Some changes go a long way, whereas some do not. Think about what I can teach the little ones so that they lead a meaningful life, instead of thinking about the negative thoughts of living temporarily with his parents. Think about my career rather than the stupid wedding ceremony. Think of things which have a greater impact on the children of tomorrow for they bring much more satisfaction and help me feel real.
Thank you Lord for the learnings and realizations this day. I pray for peace to all on Earth. I pray that XY will also start off 2006 with something good.
Amen.
Monday, December 26, 2005
The absolute lack of self-pity
Animals with wheels...
I was watching Animal PLanet and came across this programme which showcases the innovations that have been made for animals with disabilities. Some dogs and cats have lost their ability of their legs due to accidents or other causes. But they still have the use of the other legs. Hence, the human being made wheels and attached them to the body of the animals. With the wheels attached, the animals could walk as if nothing had happened. THey moved on to perform critical roles for their owners or trusted loyal friends, I would say.
It is inspiring to learn that although the animals have lost perhaps part of the ability of their bodies, they moved on to conquer the challenges of life and make the very best out of every breath they take.
It then dawned on me that we have spent too much time pitying ourselves on what we do not have or what we have lost. We should instead move on and make the best of what life has given us. And I am documenting this down so that one day in the future, I could share this with my students to inspire them to overcome the challenges that they face. I hope that this can also serve as a reminder to myself when I meet with challenges in life.
Every breath we take is a gift. And we should make the best use of this gift to the best of our abilities for life is precious.
I was watching Animal PLanet and came across this programme which showcases the innovations that have been made for animals with disabilities. Some dogs and cats have lost their ability of their legs due to accidents or other causes. But they still have the use of the other legs. Hence, the human being made wheels and attached them to the body of the animals. With the wheels attached, the animals could walk as if nothing had happened. THey moved on to perform critical roles for their owners or trusted loyal friends, I would say.
It is inspiring to learn that although the animals have lost perhaps part of the ability of their bodies, they moved on to conquer the challenges of life and make the very best out of every breath they take.
It then dawned on me that we have spent too much time pitying ourselves on what we do not have or what we have lost. We should instead move on and make the best of what life has given us. And I am documenting this down so that one day in the future, I could share this with my students to inspire them to overcome the challenges that they face. I hope that this can also serve as a reminder to myself when I meet with challenges in life.
Every breath we take is a gift. And we should make the best use of this gift to the best of our abilities for life is precious.
Sunday, December 25, 2005
MOre to think about
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4541590.stm
It is sad to read about how a nation's representatives were not able to respond promptly to save its people from a tragedy. At the same time, it reminds me that there are more important things to worry and think about other than where I shall be staying.
It is sad to read about how a nation's representatives were not able to respond promptly to save its people from a tragedy. At the same time, it reminds me that there are more important things to worry and think about other than where I shall be staying.
All I want for Christmas...
Dear Santa Claus
I pray and ask for a Christmas gift from you. All I want for Christmas is a peaceful, quiet and safe life. I want to feel safe and peaceful and quiet and no feelings of intrusion. It will make me a different person if I were to go back to the life that I used to lead. So much pent-up stress and anger that I stopped to appreciate the good things around.
Amen.
I pray and ask for a Christmas gift from you. All I want for Christmas is a peaceful, quiet and safe life. I want to feel safe and peaceful and quiet and no feelings of intrusion. It will make me a different person if I were to go back to the life that I used to lead. So much pent-up stress and anger that I stopped to appreciate the good things around.
Amen.
Friday, December 23, 2005
Being a Polyglot
I wonder and I hope that the Singapore Education System will be able to produce more polyglots in the coming future. Having a biased viewpoint towards the acquisition of more languages, I hope that schools, especially primary schools, will start to introduce more foreign languages to the little ones. While it is important to introduce Asian languages, I also think that it is very important to introduce foreign languages such as Spanish, German, French and probably Italian. It is agreed that Asia is the next upcoming continent where business will boom and the people will propser. The business links between Asia and Europe, as well as America is on the rise. Being able to speak a foreign language will open up more opportunities for the little ones in the future.
Leaning a foreign language allows one to appreciate the differences between the different language structures. It also allows one to appreciate the culture differences between people. It is a door to increasing knowledge and understanding of the world around us. There has also been some studies which support that learning another language helps one in improving their mother tongue. This is, of course on the assumption, that the language is closely related to each other.
I hope that I will have a chance to lead this initative in the school that I will be posted to. It is a dream to share my passion with the little ones so that they will not lose out on the time factor and will have a more meaningful and memorable childhood.
Leaning a foreign language allows one to appreciate the differences between the different language structures. It also allows one to appreciate the culture differences between people. It is a door to increasing knowledge and understanding of the world around us. There has also been some studies which support that learning another language helps one in improving their mother tongue. This is, of course on the assumption, that the language is closely related to each other.
I hope that I will have a chance to lead this initative in the school that I will be posted to. It is a dream to share my passion with the little ones so that they will not lose out on the time factor and will have a more meaningful and memorable childhood.
What do you learn for?
This is the question posed by Robin Williams to his students (in a movie to which I do not know the title). Do we learn to earn more money? Do we learn just for the grades? Do we learn just to fulfill other people's expectations? Do we learn because we were forced to?
Or do we learn so that we can think for ourselves?
This is a critical question. It gives a whole new meaning to teaching and learning. NO one thought me that when I was young. No one ever paid attention to me anyway. Everyone was just so busy looking at the grades and the performance on paper. No one bothered to try to understand me and my interests. I think, it goes the same for many pupils. And this is sad.
School is a place where we explore the different faces of the world and of our short time span on earth. It is a place to learn about and from one another. Learning is supposed to help us open our mind and not restrict us. Has our learning become somewhat microscopic? I wonder.
While the basic principles of learning and teaching such as classroom discipline still holds, one must not forget the true essence of education. TO learn to think for ourselves.
I finally found the title. It is called "Dead Poets' Society". http://www.cinepad.com/reviews/deadpoets.htm
Or do we learn so that we can think for ourselves?
This is a critical question. It gives a whole new meaning to teaching and learning. NO one thought me that when I was young. No one ever paid attention to me anyway. Everyone was just so busy looking at the grades and the performance on paper. No one bothered to try to understand me and my interests. I think, it goes the same for many pupils. And this is sad.
School is a place where we explore the different faces of the world and of our short time span on earth. It is a place to learn about and from one another. Learning is supposed to help us open our mind and not restrict us. Has our learning become somewhat microscopic? I wonder.
While the basic principles of learning and teaching such as classroom discipline still holds, one must not forget the true essence of education. TO learn to think for ourselves.
I finally found the title. It is called "Dead Poets' Society". http://www.cinepad.com/reviews/deadpoets.htm
Thursday, December 22, 2005
If you want to be a teacher......
I came across this article written by a history teacher. It is interesting....somehow, the essence that I got from reading this article is that u need to be a child in order to connect with children, but yet, u need to maintain a side of you as an adult to show them what the world has to offer, and guide them according to the societal rules.
http://www.halcyon.com/arborhts/tobeatea.html
While, I am excited about teaching, I am also afraid that I would not be able to handle it. THe children especially. WHile, I want to be nice to them, I know that I would have to be firm and assertive too.
There are many articles telling stories about the life cycle of a new teacher. they describe how the new teachers feel through the initial year of their career. It is true. I know that there will be many hurdles to cross. I just hope that I can manage them well and not fumble, knowing the expectations that I have of myself.
http://www.halcyon.com/arborhts/tobeatea.html
While, I am excited about teaching, I am also afraid that I would not be able to handle it. THe children especially. WHile, I want to be nice to them, I know that I would have to be firm and assertive too.
There are many articles telling stories about the life cycle of a new teacher. they describe how the new teachers feel through the initial year of their career. It is true. I know that there will be many hurdles to cross. I just hope that I can manage them well and not fumble, knowing the expectations that I have of myself.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
I wonder
Was bored and took a scan of the people who are on my Friendster network. I saw Janice's wedding photos. She looks very happy and she has a large group of friends with her to celebrate. Logically, I thought of my own wedding. The elaborate style of celebration does not suit me because I want things to be simple and sweet. There is no need for a big car, pretty gowns or big party. A small one with lots of true love and coziness will do. But it will never be that way for me. Somehow, I know. For my wedding is not mine at all.
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Ah.....Ich bin krank.
Ah I am sick again....For whatever reasons unknown to me, I have not been able to sleep for the past one week. Everynight, I toss and turn around in bed trying to sleep, but to no avail. My mind kept working thinking about everything under the sun. Now, I am really sick. My nose is running, and my throat is hoarse. My body feels weak and tired. All my plans to go to the gym and work my dip is now shelved. Sigh.....I have to get well soon and get back to my gym routine.
Dear Lord
I pray that I will be able to get well soon and get back to my routing of gym and work. I also want to pray for Ming and family because they are sick too. I pray that we can all get well soon to enjoy the coming Christmas and Silvester.
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Dear Lord
I pray that I will be able to get well soon and get back to my routing of gym and work. I also want to pray for Ming and family because they are sick too. I pray that we can all get well soon to enjoy the coming Christmas and Silvester.
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
A short story....
http://www.ell.nie.edu.sg/innerPages/News_n_EVENTS/Poster_n_Other_docs/HCA/THE%20TWO%20WISHES.doc
I read this story written by a primary school boy during a competition. It is a sweet story. It is not a literature piece which one get a headache after reading. It does not consist (bestehen aus) of many fanciful language expressions. I read a good balance of the various language aspects which brought out the simple storyline. A simple story but with a serious and solemn message.
I wonder, if he had witnessed something which hit him so hard that he wrote this story. TO be able to come up with such a story requires some thinking. I wonder if this boy is much more matured than his age. Or has he experienced something which caused him to be more sensitive to others and his surroundings.
Nevertheless, I am very impressed and I hope that I will be able to help the little ones develop their potential further.
I read this story written by a primary school boy during a competition. It is a sweet story. It is not a literature piece which one get a headache after reading. It does not consist (bestehen aus) of many fanciful language expressions. I read a good balance of the various language aspects which brought out the simple storyline. A simple story but with a serious and solemn message.
I wonder, if he had witnessed something which hit him so hard that he wrote this story. TO be able to come up with such a story requires some thinking. I wonder if this boy is much more matured than his age. Or has he experienced something which caused him to be more sensitive to others and his surroundings.
Nevertheless, I am very impressed and I hope that I will be able to help the little ones develop their potential further.
Monday, December 12, 2005
A home with a quiet and peaceful environment...
Dear Lord
I pray that you help me find an apartment in CCK where it is quiet and peaceful and not too expensive. We do not have the money to pay for an expensive apartment. 250K I think is just alright. All I ask for is that there is peace and quiet surrounding the apartment. And safety and security. I also pray that the purchase and renovation and moving into the apartment would be completed before I finish NIE.
But before this, I pray and wish that Matt would have a position back in Singapore and that we can return to Singapore end March, according to plans. Then we shall have the procedural meeting and have our solemnization ceremony in June.
This is all I ask for for Christmas.
Amen.
I pray that you help me find an apartment in CCK where it is quiet and peaceful and not too expensive. We do not have the money to pay for an expensive apartment. 250K I think is just alright. All I ask for is that there is peace and quiet surrounding the apartment. And safety and security. I also pray that the purchase and renovation and moving into the apartment would be completed before I finish NIE.
But before this, I pray and wish that Matt would have a position back in Singapore and that we can return to Singapore end March, according to plans. Then we shall have the procedural meeting and have our solemnization ceremony in June.
This is all I ask for for Christmas.
Amen.
Sunday, December 11, 2005
I pray for peace
Yesterday, my mind was totlly immersed in the area of getting a new flat and how to renovate it. I was thinking about the time and money required to get a flat and decorate it such that it will be cosy for both of us.
Yet, he was not that interested at all. Or maybe not as interested as I expected him to be. HIs focus was more on getting a posting to go back to Singapore. Well, that is logical. WIthout a posting back to Singapore, the other plans would not work out. But still, I had hoped that he showed more interest rather than give me his usual nonchalant attitude. I needed the assurance.
Deep down inside me, the monsters are stirring again. I thought about my past. THe environment that I grew up in and the effects today. I do not want to go back to that environment again. I want an environment in which I can feel safe. I want to be with people whom I can trust and count on when I need someone. Matt is everything to me. I trust him. I know that he would not leave me in the lurch one day. And because of this, I want to build a nest with him. A beautiful and simple nest for the two of us. A new chapter, a new start, a new beginning to a new future.
Guess it is also because of the weather that I am feeling so depressed. The sun is barely out each day. Darkness engulfs everyone and everywhere. I have been feeling lethargic and sick. No matter how much I sleep, it does not seem to be enough.
I hope that I will get over this stage of winter soon because I have lots to do.
Dear Lord
I pray for strength to overcome this environmental effect on the human body, such that I may get back to work on building up my knowledge and skills for future use. I also pray that I can learn to be more patient and take things one at a time. I pray for peace in me so that I may not keep thinking about the past. I pray for peave and harmony between Matt and me so that we may work out our plans for the future. I pray for peace, happiness and good health for the people I love.
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Yet, he was not that interested at all. Or maybe not as interested as I expected him to be. HIs focus was more on getting a posting to go back to Singapore. Well, that is logical. WIthout a posting back to Singapore, the other plans would not work out. But still, I had hoped that he showed more interest rather than give me his usual nonchalant attitude. I needed the assurance.
Deep down inside me, the monsters are stirring again. I thought about my past. THe environment that I grew up in and the effects today. I do not want to go back to that environment again. I want an environment in which I can feel safe. I want to be with people whom I can trust and count on when I need someone. Matt is everything to me. I trust him. I know that he would not leave me in the lurch one day. And because of this, I want to build a nest with him. A beautiful and simple nest for the two of us. A new chapter, a new start, a new beginning to a new future.
Guess it is also because of the weather that I am feeling so depressed. The sun is barely out each day. Darkness engulfs everyone and everywhere. I have been feeling lethargic and sick. No matter how much I sleep, it does not seem to be enough.
I hope that I will get over this stage of winter soon because I have lots to do.
Dear Lord
I pray for strength to overcome this environmental effect on the human body, such that I may get back to work on building up my knowledge and skills for future use. I also pray that I can learn to be more patient and take things one at a time. I pray for peace in me so that I may not keep thinking about the past. I pray for peave and harmony between Matt and me so that we may work out our plans for the future. I pray for peace, happiness and good health for the people I love.
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Friday, December 09, 2005
Warum mag Lex mir nicht?....Why does Lex not like me?
Recently Lex has been exhibiting beheviour which expresses his dislike or discomfort with me around. He would do things to put me down, such as telling everyone that he has finished all the sweets or anything else and there is nothing left for me. When I try to touch him or play with him, he does not respond to me.
I wonder....did I do anything which has caused him displeasure? Or is he just being notti because I respond to his negative comments? Sometimes when he says things to me, I make faces. Sad faces, happy faces, puzzled looks and so on. Hence, is there a possibility that he is trying to elicit such reaction from him because he likes it?
This brings me to the question and area of study of child psychology. I am curious to find out what has led the child to respond in this manner. Are they speaking the truth? Or are they so clever to make remarks to elicit responses from adults?
I wonder....did I do anything which has caused him displeasure? Or is he just being notti because I respond to his negative comments? Sometimes when he says things to me, I make faces. Sad faces, happy faces, puzzled looks and so on. Hence, is there a possibility that he is trying to elicit such reaction from him because he likes it?
This brings me to the question and area of study of child psychology. I am curious to find out what has led the child to respond in this manner. Are they speaking the truth? Or are they so clever to make remarks to elicit responses from adults?
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Ich bete.....I pray
Dear Lord
There is something weighing on my mind. I want to pray for peace and patience to deal with the issue when the time comes. The plan is for us to get back to Singapore and get a flat. While we plan to purchase the flat using our CPF, the concern now is renovation. I do not mind a simple flat with minimum decorations as long the basic necessities are there. A simple flat with basics such as the stove, washing machine etc would be good enough. The flooring does not need to be expensive or extremely pretty. It just needs to be simple and pleasant to the eye. This is all I ask for.
However, it seems like he wants everything to be perfect. Perfect colour combinations and so on. Am I reading the wrong signals? I hope so. We do not really have the money to live a life of luxury. A simple life will do. I know he wants things to be perfect for the both of us. But at the same time, I hope that he knows his limits too.
The money can be put to better use such as education and travelling.
I pray for patience so that I will not worry. I pray for peace so that I can enjoy the moments now. I pray for harmony between the two of us when we have conflicting views. I pray for strenght and luck to bring us through the next few years which will be challenging as we embark on our new chapters together.
All we want is to be together and share a life. Teach us to focus and not be distracted by things which are not that important.
Teach us to have faith in you and believe that as long as we do out part, our Saviour will take care of the rest.
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
There is something weighing on my mind. I want to pray for peace and patience to deal with the issue when the time comes. The plan is for us to get back to Singapore and get a flat. While we plan to purchase the flat using our CPF, the concern now is renovation. I do not mind a simple flat with minimum decorations as long the basic necessities are there. A simple flat with basics such as the stove, washing machine etc would be good enough. The flooring does not need to be expensive or extremely pretty. It just needs to be simple and pleasant to the eye. This is all I ask for.
However, it seems like he wants everything to be perfect. Perfect colour combinations and so on. Am I reading the wrong signals? I hope so. We do not really have the money to live a life of luxury. A simple life will do. I know he wants things to be perfect for the both of us. But at the same time, I hope that he knows his limits too.
The money can be put to better use such as education and travelling.
I pray for patience so that I will not worry. I pray for peace so that I can enjoy the moments now. I pray for harmony between the two of us when we have conflicting views. I pray for strenght and luck to bring us through the next few years which will be challenging as we embark on our new chapters together.
All we want is to be together and share a life. Teach us to focus and not be distracted by things which are not that important.
Teach us to have faith in you and believe that as long as we do out part, our Saviour will take care of the rest.
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Dull and depressing Winter...haha
I have been feeling lethargic these days. Not sure why. Perhaps it is the orientation once again to the environment in COpenhagen. Perhaps it is the weather. Short days in winter where the sun only comes out at nine or ten o'clock and sets at three or four in the afternoon. Even when the sun is out, it is grey and cold. The sun's rays seem to be trying very hard to penetrate the dark clouds but to no avail.
It has been difficult trying to get to sleep at the right time and getting up at the right time. I feel tired but cannot get to sleep at night. Tried going to the gym to work out my body but it will take some time to get back to the routine again on the basis that I have missed out one month of workout due to my recent trip to Dresden. Hopefully, things will work out.
Somehow, I got to work out a schedule and keep to it. Got lots to accomplish in December before I start my Danish lessons in Jan 2006. It is really exciting to embark on a new language. I just hope that I can pick it up quickly and fluently. NOt forgetting that I have to revise my German too!
Okie....got to get back to my Dip in TBE. Hang in there JO!
Smile!
It has been difficult trying to get to sleep at the right time and getting up at the right time. I feel tired but cannot get to sleep at night. Tried going to the gym to work out my body but it will take some time to get back to the routine again on the basis that I have missed out one month of workout due to my recent trip to Dresden. Hopefully, things will work out.
Somehow, I got to work out a schedule and keep to it. Got lots to accomplish in December before I start my Danish lessons in Jan 2006. It is really exciting to embark on a new language. I just hope that I can pick it up quickly and fluently. NOt forgetting that I have to revise my German too!
Okie....got to get back to my Dip in TBE. Hang in there JO!
Smile!
Friday, December 02, 2005
Jasmin's Blog
I read Jasmin's blog today. There was only one entry. It was a simple and short one describing her last few days in school. Amidst the expressions, I could sense that the Jas I knew is still there. Somewhere. She still loves children. She enjoys her work. And like me, she is emotional. She is the more creative kind of person as compared to me. I tend to be more serious and straight while she tends to be more mischievous and fun-loving. Both of us have been through different experiences, hence shaping our extreme views towards life. Since young, she has this love for children. Me on the other hand, did not like them till not so long ago. GUess it is because I grew up in a family where emotions and love are extremely scarce. Jas has a family who is always supportive and there for her. This could be one reason why she was never able to understand my emotions and certain views towards life. I do not blame her. Instead, I am afriad of letting her know me too well. While I love to get to know people and allow people to know me, I still draw a line of boundary at times to protect myself from getting hurt or put down. Perhaps my level of self-esteem is still not too high. Or perhaps, I am afraid of being hurt....
Thursday, December 01, 2005
The thought of Lex and Family....
For whatever reason, it just puts a smile on my face whenever I know that I can get to meet up with Lex and family and go on an outing together. It could be a simple dinner or just shopping for groceries. The thought of it just brightens me up. Just like today.
Been feeling tired and bored and dragging myself through the assignments. But as soon as I got to know that dinner is at their place and that I can go fetch Lex from school, I just feel so happy.... This joy, this excitement, this sudden gush of energy just lifts me up.
It feels so great!!! :)
Been feeling tired and bored and dragging myself through the assignments. But as soon as I got to know that dinner is at their place and that I can go fetch Lex from school, I just feel so happy.... This joy, this excitement, this sudden gush of energy just lifts me up.
It feels so great!!! :)
Friday, November 25, 2005
The Last Day....
Today is the last day of my course in Dresden. We were rather emotional. Libor looked very sad that we will all be going our separate ways. I get the feeling that he is an emotional and serious person. A perfectionist too. In a positive sense. :) I like him. A man at 40, who teaches in a technical school and who is willing to share knowledge and help others. He is also someone who is open-minded enough to see things from a different point of view.
Herr Kogar - a wise old man who is always smiling and exuding a fatherly presence. Although he does not say much, one does not get the feeling that he is aloof.
The Romanian couple - I pray for them and wish that their hopes and wishes will come true soon. They are a jovial couple. There is always laughter around them.
Stefan - We did not say much. I guess we both know that there is something not right between us. American kultur und Asian kulture is slightly different. Being humble and being receptive to other people. And not judge others without first understanding th esurrounding factors. Perhaps Stefan is still young and has yet to see the world. Afterall, I did learn lessons the hard way too.
Mai and Ji - THey have to stay here much longer for their studies. Both are young girls with ambitions and energy. I wish them well.
Siew Hwa - The girl who gets on my nerves quite frequently. I hope that she grows up soon and that she learns to be more sensitive especially when she wants to be a psychologist.
Aboveall, I think we had a good time. A class mit different people, different experiences, different aspirations, different personalities and thoughts. Yet, it all turned out well, Peaceful and harmonious. ALthough we never really say much other than revise Deutsch grammar and homework, it somehow bonded all of us. There is this atmosphere of missing each other and hoping that we all have more time together to get to know each other. It was an extremely long emotional moment for quite a few of us. Especially Marit.
Marit taught us for only two weeks but she loves us. When a teacher loves her students and does her very best to help them, you can feel it. She is one good teacher and we are very fortunate to have gotten to know her. She will always be one of the very few who will have a lasting impression on me. She is one whom I can draw my inspiration and motivation for my future endeavours from. While all has been going well, something bad happened today and Marit cried. I pray for her and I hope that everything is alright. She is one good person on this planet earth.
While I love to write more, I have to go do my homework and revision so that I can revise what has been taught today. Must not let Marit down. Must carry on and strive to be the best. Just like she strives to do her best in imparting her knowledge to us.
Meanwhile/Inzwishen, I pray for peace, harmony and happiness for the students and teachers and the people around me.
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Herr Kogar - a wise old man who is always smiling and exuding a fatherly presence. Although he does not say much, one does not get the feeling that he is aloof.
The Romanian couple - I pray for them and wish that their hopes and wishes will come true soon. They are a jovial couple. There is always laughter around them.
Stefan - We did not say much. I guess we both know that there is something not right between us. American kultur und Asian kulture is slightly different. Being humble and being receptive to other people. And not judge others without first understanding th esurrounding factors. Perhaps Stefan is still young and has yet to see the world. Afterall, I did learn lessons the hard way too.
Mai and Ji - THey have to stay here much longer for their studies. Both are young girls with ambitions and energy. I wish them well.
Siew Hwa - The girl who gets on my nerves quite frequently. I hope that she grows up soon and that she learns to be more sensitive especially when she wants to be a psychologist.
Aboveall, I think we had a good time. A class mit different people, different experiences, different aspirations, different personalities and thoughts. Yet, it all turned out well, Peaceful and harmonious. ALthough we never really say much other than revise Deutsch grammar and homework, it somehow bonded all of us. There is this atmosphere of missing each other and hoping that we all have more time together to get to know each other. It was an extremely long emotional moment for quite a few of us. Especially Marit.
Marit taught us for only two weeks but she loves us. When a teacher loves her students and does her very best to help them, you can feel it. She is one good teacher and we are very fortunate to have gotten to know her. She will always be one of the very few who will have a lasting impression on me. She is one whom I can draw my inspiration and motivation for my future endeavours from. While all has been going well, something bad happened today and Marit cried. I pray for her and I hope that everything is alright. She is one good person on this planet earth.
While I love to write more, I have to go do my homework and revision so that I can revise what has been taught today. Must not let Marit down. Must carry on and strive to be the best. Just like she strives to do her best in imparting her knowledge to us.
Meanwhile/Inzwishen, I pray for peace, harmony and happiness for the students and teachers and the people around me.
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Eislaufen
Wir sind am Sonntag, den 20 November 2005 Eislaufen gefahren. Wir hatten viel Spaß.
That was my second time ice-skating. Of course, I fell a couple of times while trying to get my posture right. It was raining while we were ice-skating. It was not so heavy so we went on as if the weather was great. There were no handbars for us to hold on to. It was merely an ice-ring and there were some mattresses along the circumference just in case.
I have improved quite a bit from the last time. My strides are slightly longer. I can stand. My fear has decreased. What I need to work on further on is to lengthen my stride and not be afraid of speed. Natürlich, ice-skating is not a slow sport!!! Haha....
The great thing that came out of this experience is that I got to know Richard, an American, matured and wise, independant and willing to share knowledge with one. And Beatrix auch! Both of them helped me much in learning how to get the techniques right. We had lots of fun and of course lots of bruises for me. :)
I love the weather. Winter is cold and harsh. Sometimes so grey that it is depressing. But I love it whenever I see the snow falling down. And note that the snow does not fall down vertically like the raindrops in Singapore. It falls horizontally, zig-zagging all the way such that it take more than twice the time needed to reach the ground. Small little flakes of white snow crystals flaying all around you. It is just so amazing and preety. I look forward to seeing them more often now that Winter is approaching fast.
I remember that I cried when I first saw the snow fall in Dresden on Thursday, last Thursday. The moment was just so touching and moving. Slowly the snow will cover the trees and leaves and we will be covered with a "white blanket", although this blanket is not warm.
The Deutschkurs is coming to an end this week. I have learnt a lot and got to know more people. Had both positive and negative experiences so far. But it has all been worth it.
Moving on, I look forward to improving my Deutsch, learning Danish and being a good student in NIE to maximise my potential and ability. And years later, after I have saved enough money, I hope to move around the globe teaching and sharing my experiences with the next generation such that they can appreciate and learn to see the world in their different but humble ways.
God help me!
:)
That was my second time ice-skating. Of course, I fell a couple of times while trying to get my posture right. It was raining while we were ice-skating. It was not so heavy so we went on as if the weather was great. There were no handbars for us to hold on to. It was merely an ice-ring and there were some mattresses along the circumference just in case.
I have improved quite a bit from the last time. My strides are slightly longer. I can stand. My fear has decreased. What I need to work on further on is to lengthen my stride and not be afraid of speed. Natürlich, ice-skating is not a slow sport!!! Haha....
The great thing that came out of this experience is that I got to know Richard, an American, matured and wise, independant and willing to share knowledge with one. And Beatrix auch! Both of them helped me much in learning how to get the techniques right. We had lots of fun and of course lots of bruises for me. :)
I love the weather. Winter is cold and harsh. Sometimes so grey that it is depressing. But I love it whenever I see the snow falling down. And note that the snow does not fall down vertically like the raindrops in Singapore. It falls horizontally, zig-zagging all the way such that it take more than twice the time needed to reach the ground. Small little flakes of white snow crystals flaying all around you. It is just so amazing and preety. I look forward to seeing them more often now that Winter is approaching fast.
I remember that I cried when I first saw the snow fall in Dresden on Thursday, last Thursday. The moment was just so touching and moving. Slowly the snow will cover the trees and leaves and we will be covered with a "white blanket", although this blanket is not warm.
The Deutschkurs is coming to an end this week. I have learnt a lot and got to know more people. Had both positive and negative experiences so far. But it has all been worth it.
Moving on, I look forward to improving my Deutsch, learning Danish and being a good student in NIE to maximise my potential and ability. And years later, after I have saved enough money, I hope to move around the globe teaching and sharing my experiences with the next generation such that they can appreciate and learn to see the world in their different but humble ways.
God help me!
:)
Monday, November 21, 2005
Eine Mischung den deutsche Sprache und englische Sprache. Ist das möglich?
I have been thinking about this for quite some time. Is there a possibility to merge English and German for my career? The next four years will be spent embarking on my teacher education and building up my teaching experience. While doing so, I hope to get my Masters in Education so as to be a more proficient and effective teacher. Meanwhile, I also want to continue learning German because I love the Language and I loce the process of acquiring the language. My final destination is Masters in German as a Foreign language. While the education in Germany is free, I still need money for daily expenses. It is difficult getting a sponsorship because Germany's focus is on teachnical and engineering research. Even if I can study here, the next quesion is what can I do with a Masters in German? Can I teach German to non-native speakers? I guess most people would prefer it if Native language speakers teach them.
I also want to do a degree in Linguistics. I guess it would be less restrictive and more broad-based as we study the technicalities of the various langauges rather than on acquiring the language itself. Linguistics, German and English are all components of communicative ability. Is there somewhere where I can strike a balance to allow me to do all three? Is there room in the world to accommodate someone like me to teacher english and german?
Please Lord, I pray for a sign or answer as to whether there is hope or having this dream come true?
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
I also want to do a degree in Linguistics. I guess it would be less restrictive and more broad-based as we study the technicalities of the various langauges rather than on acquiring the language itself. Linguistics, German and English are all components of communicative ability. Is there somewhere where I can strike a balance to allow me to do all three? Is there room in the world to accommodate someone like me to teacher english and german?
Please Lord, I pray for a sign or answer as to whether there is hope or having this dream come true?
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Er schneit heute
Er schneit heute. Nur ein bißchen, aber es war genug.
Es ist kalt, aber es ist schön. Das Luft ist frisch und erfrishend.
Es ist kalt, aber es ist schön. Das Luft ist frisch und erfrishend.
Monday, November 14, 2005
I do not know how to feel...
DAphne wrote to me today and asked about what I am busy with. As usual, I told her about the German course that i am doing and the upcoming plans that I have. She also mentioned about Zerlinda getting married sometime next year. It is weird. I mean, I do not feel anything because it is none of my business. The only question that popped up in my head is,"How can I get out of it? Or how can I avoid all the stuff going on during that time? Can I not go?" I am not clse to her anyway and there is nothing in common between the two of us.
Ich hasse die Geräush!
Can I not invite any of my relatives for my wedding? Better still, can I not have the banquet? I just want a quiet peaceful dinner with my friends, people whom I can trust and be comfortable with. I hate all the other extras that have to be done. In the end, the bride is tired and does not enjoy the entire day at all.
One of my new found friends said that banquets are carried out to announce, or let other people know that you are attached/taken. What business is it of theirs? (Well, I guess, you can say that when you are not close to your relatives.)
You do not know half of the guests who turn up. You do not enjoy the time. You have to spend so much money on the preparations. (I could have done a couple of German Intensive courses and travel round Germany with that kind of money!!!!!! F*** these traditions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Everyone puts on a mask during such occassions and pretend to be happy for the couple. THen behind them, the ugly side comes out. They criticize this and that and compare this and that. Hey, can't they just get a life? There are more important things in the world to bother about!!!!!!!!!
Ok. I am frustrated still because I can never understand and accept the rationale. Guess this is the only way to get the thoughts out of my mind!!!!!!
Ich hasse die Geräush!
Can I not invite any of my relatives for my wedding? Better still, can I not have the banquet? I just want a quiet peaceful dinner with my friends, people whom I can trust and be comfortable with. I hate all the other extras that have to be done. In the end, the bride is tired and does not enjoy the entire day at all.
One of my new found friends said that banquets are carried out to announce, or let other people know that you are attached/taken. What business is it of theirs? (Well, I guess, you can say that when you are not close to your relatives.)
You do not know half of the guests who turn up. You do not enjoy the time. You have to spend so much money on the preparations. (I could have done a couple of German Intensive courses and travel round Germany with that kind of money!!!!!! F*** these traditions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Everyone puts on a mask during such occassions and pretend to be happy for the couple. THen behind them, the ugly side comes out. They criticize this and that and compare this and that. Hey, can't they just get a life? There are more important things in the world to bother about!!!!!!!!!
Ok. I am frustrated still because I can never understand and accept the rationale. Guess this is the only way to get the thoughts out of my mind!!!!!!
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Back to assumptions
Zurück nach dieses Thema!!
There is this American youth in my class. Only 19 and typical American. Talks about Politics, thinks that he is the best, slangs alot, speaks very fast und so weiter. He did not get on my nerves earlier. Ging auf meine Nerven. But yesterday, he did it. During one of the breaks, he was talking to the Malaysuan girl in class and the moment she said that she did not speak Malay, he exclaimed:" You come from Malaysia and you do not speak Malay?" Then there was this smirk on his face. I sat in my seat and shook my head. Irritated and disappointed.
Then I thought about it for almost the whole day. Many people make the assumptions that u have to speak whatever language that is tied to your skin colour, and your origin. That is such a stupid assumption in today#s context. We are all moving around and attending different schools with different systems. IN Singapore, English is our first language instead of our mother tongue. For Chinese who migrate early in their lives to English-speaking countries or other foreign-language speaking countries, they may not know their mother tongue because, they did not learn the language during their formative years.
Also, why must we speak the language that is related to our skin, why can't we choose? We may grow up in one environment speaking one language. Later, we may find that we appreciate and are more inclined to another culture and language. Why can't we choose? Many people find this thought weird and illogical. To me, it is only logical. Kulture and langauge is shaped by practices and behaviour. If one could assimilate into that, why can't we be that?
There is this American youth in my class. Only 19 and typical American. Talks about Politics, thinks that he is the best, slangs alot, speaks very fast und so weiter. He did not get on my nerves earlier. Ging auf meine Nerven. But yesterday, he did it. During one of the breaks, he was talking to the Malaysuan girl in class and the moment she said that she did not speak Malay, he exclaimed:" You come from Malaysia and you do not speak Malay?" Then there was this smirk on his face. I sat in my seat and shook my head. Irritated and disappointed.
Then I thought about it for almost the whole day. Many people make the assumptions that u have to speak whatever language that is tied to your skin colour, and your origin. That is such a stupid assumption in today#s context. We are all moving around and attending different schools with different systems. IN Singapore, English is our first language instead of our mother tongue. For Chinese who migrate early in their lives to English-speaking countries or other foreign-language speaking countries, they may not know their mother tongue because, they did not learn the language during their formative years.
Also, why must we speak the language that is related to our skin, why can't we choose? We may grow up in one environment speaking one language. Later, we may find that we appreciate and are more inclined to another culture and language. Why can't we choose? Many people find this thought weird and illogical. To me, it is only logical. Kulture and langauge is shaped by practices and behaviour. If one could assimilate into that, why can't we be that?
Monday, November 07, 2005
My Progress
I have been here in Dresden for slightly more than a week now. Lessons sort of just began and we just finished a chapter today. It was an interesting journey as we revised the Grammar and learnt words to fill up our vocabulary tank. It was hard work too. Whenever possible, I tried to write essays so that I can get my grammar and sentence strucutres right. It is also one way to build upon my vocabulary bank. Albeit my standard is still not that high, there is at least some improvement. My ears are tuned slighty more to German now and i speak a little more of German to get my tongue and vocal cords going.
Other than working hard, I have been enjoying the sights of Dresden and exploring the place too. It is very exciting to explore an unknown land on your own because you never really know what to expect. it is fun to observe people and of course let others observe you. In a land where Asians are typically never really to be seen, they scrutinize you with interest and curiosity.
I have also signed up for a Tandem Program where they try to match you with someone who wants to learn your language and more about your country. For me, English is definitely the language that I consider my first. Well, we shall wait and see if they find anyone suitable for me. I look forward to meeting up with this person and practise my Deutsch too.
Right now, I am taking a break. At three o'clock, I will be joining ein gruppe and we are going on an excursion.
I can feel the immersion effects now. I think in Deutsch and of course speak deutsch too as that is the only common language that we have.
I simple hope that I can continue with Deutsch and that I can finally teach deutsch one day. Und dann, hopefully, I can move on to other languages such as Italien and Spanish and become a real linguist. God Bless me with the energy and brain power, and of course the opportunities. Amen!
Other than working hard, I have been enjoying the sights of Dresden and exploring the place too. It is very exciting to explore an unknown land on your own because you never really know what to expect. it is fun to observe people and of course let others observe you. In a land where Asians are typically never really to be seen, they scrutinize you with interest and curiosity.
I have also signed up for a Tandem Program where they try to match you with someone who wants to learn your language and more about your country. For me, English is definitely the language that I consider my first. Well, we shall wait and see if they find anyone suitable for me. I look forward to meeting up with this person and practise my Deutsch too.
Right now, I am taking a break. At three o'clock, I will be joining ein gruppe and we are going on an excursion.
I can feel the immersion effects now. I think in Deutsch and of course speak deutsch too as that is the only common language that we have.
I simple hope that I can continue with Deutsch and that I can finally teach deutsch one day. Und dann, hopefully, I can move on to other languages such as Italien and Spanish and become a real linguist. God Bless me with the energy and brain power, and of course the opportunities. Amen!
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Alone in Dresden
It has been quite a few days since I last blogged. Was in Berlin over the weekend with Ming and Family and Matt. Berlin is an interesting place. Lots to see and discover. HOwever due to the short time that we had, we only managed to cover the eastern portion of Berlin all the way to Brandenburg Tor. I hope to go back there again. I have not experienced the Berlin Wall and the atrocities that took place in Berlin so many years ago.
The journey to Dresden was filled with excitement and embarrassment as well. I made a huge blunder on the train. I think that guy was really pissed off by me when I asked him to let me take his seat. This indirectly means that I was chasing him away. Well, guess such experiences just add up to my life story. Perhaps this incident will come in handy one day when I impart knowledge to the little ones.
Now that I have been here for a few days, the initial excitement, fears and questions are slowly fading away. Coming here during Halloween and arriving at the train station after it gets dark really set my mind going. Thoughts of witches, ghosts and moving pumkins did put me on my nerves though. To add to the atmosphere, Dresden has many buildings which are not occupied and dilapidated. I wonder if there are any elements living in those buildings. I wonder what happened in those buildings. Are there stories hidden in the walls, the stariways and paintings? Did someone forget something in those buildings? How long have these buildings been empty? Who built these buildings? Why did the people leave these buildings unattended? Why is it so dark? Is there something in the air that I am missing?
So many questions ran through my mind. While I did give them some thought, I guess I was too tired to dweel much on them.
Alone in Dresden allows me to train up my navigation skills and be independent. And I think I have done pretty well having survived the first day of arrival amidst such scary environment and walking through the Dresden city on my own. Not to mention that I bought food and other necessities using my limited broken German.
Well, the lessons have started and today is only the second day. There is no stress so far. I hope that I can achieve the goals that I have set for myself and I hope that I can enjoy the experience to the fullest.
New environment, new people, new words, new ways of doing things, new experiences, and so on..... How I wish that this will not end.......
Heyzzzzzzzz.........wake up Jo!You have to go back to Singapore and spend one year in NTU before you get thrown into the pit with those curious and perhaps a little naughty students......So enjoy while you can!
haha..........self-amusement......Thanks to the Lord for everything that has heppened in my life so far......I shall write soon....gotta get back to my assignments and revision...... :)
The journey to Dresden was filled with excitement and embarrassment as well. I made a huge blunder on the train. I think that guy was really pissed off by me when I asked him to let me take his seat. This indirectly means that I was chasing him away. Well, guess such experiences just add up to my life story. Perhaps this incident will come in handy one day when I impart knowledge to the little ones.
Now that I have been here for a few days, the initial excitement, fears and questions are slowly fading away. Coming here during Halloween and arriving at the train station after it gets dark really set my mind going. Thoughts of witches, ghosts and moving pumkins did put me on my nerves though. To add to the atmosphere, Dresden has many buildings which are not occupied and dilapidated. I wonder if there are any elements living in those buildings. I wonder what happened in those buildings. Are there stories hidden in the walls, the stariways and paintings? Did someone forget something in those buildings? How long have these buildings been empty? Who built these buildings? Why did the people leave these buildings unattended? Why is it so dark? Is there something in the air that I am missing?
So many questions ran through my mind. While I did give them some thought, I guess I was too tired to dweel much on them.
Alone in Dresden allows me to train up my navigation skills and be independent. And I think I have done pretty well having survived the first day of arrival amidst such scary environment and walking through the Dresden city on my own. Not to mention that I bought food and other necessities using my limited broken German.
Well, the lessons have started and today is only the second day. There is no stress so far. I hope that I can achieve the goals that I have set for myself and I hope that I can enjoy the experience to the fullest.
New environment, new people, new words, new ways of doing things, new experiences, and so on..... How I wish that this will not end.......
Heyzzzzzzzz.........wake up Jo!You have to go back to Singapore and spend one year in NTU before you get thrown into the pit with those curious and perhaps a little naughty students......So enjoy while you can!
haha..........self-amusement......Thanks to the Lord for everything that has heppened in my life so far......I shall write soon....gotta get back to my assignments and revision...... :)
Friday, October 28, 2005
Princess Diaries
Princess DIaries was screened on TV last night and I watched it a second time. I love the movie. It is simple. It brings me into my realms of fantasy and miracles. It may not happen to anyone. NOt everyone can be a princess of a country. There would be too many princesses by then. But what was said in the movie really touched me.
Mia was not ready to be a princess. I mean, afterall, she is only fifteen. MOst girls at fifteen would be thinking about passing their exams and exploring their sexuality and the world around them. And after a series of happenings, the girl finally decided to take up the challenge. One of the motivations behind her decision was that being someone in that position, she could put into actions ideas and thoughts that have impact on the people of the world. She could do things that bring good to the people and the future generation. She could build on the intelligent people and their ideas.
Most important of all, I think, the lesson to be learnt is that there will always be a miracle in our lives. If only we cared enough to recognize it.
Doesn't that taste delicious?
I was on my way home just now after a session at the gym and a trip to the post office to collect my package and mail out some letters. It was about lunch time and I thought, with the cold weather and the workout at the gym, I should be entitled to a hotdog at least! And so I went to the hotdog stand at the LIttle Triangle and bought myself a ristet hotdog. I love ristet hotdogs. There is mustard, pickles, lots of onions and just enough bread to finish the hotdog with.
After buying the hotdog, I ate it along the way as my feet brought me home. My journey home includes walking past a block of shops and a large pond, As I was walking along the breadth of the pond, I saw this man just standing by it and taking in the view. The sun was shining, the winds were blowing and the birds were just enjoying themselves in the water. This man saw me eating my hotdog. We made eye contact and he asked me if the hotdog was delicious. And of course, I replied, "Yes, it is!" We smiled at each other and went on our ways.
It was just s imple encounter. Most people would probably brush this off saying that the man was probably bored. Well, I thought it was a sweet encounter. A brave one too. The man is Dane and I am Asian. Most people may have the fear of speaking to someone whom they are not familiar with. Fear of the unknown creates a barrier to us building relationships and rapport among one another. Yet, he did. And I returned the courtesy.
I believe that we both walked away with pleasant feelings and joy with just a simple exchange of words. The world is still beautiful around us. :)
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
A rainy day
Yesterday, it rained the entire day. Right from the morning till late at night. I would say that it was the wettest and gloomiest day I have ever experienced since I arrived in Denmark. Raindrops poured down onto the ground as if it is never ending. The winds blew in all directions as if looking someplace to hide. There was no sun. Dark clouds covered the sky like an extremely large piece of blanket. It was cold.
ON my way to the gym, i saw the leaves scattered all over the ground. Leaves of brown and yellow. The trees are almost bare. On the ground, the sand is now wet with rain water. Leaves are strewn all over the ground. People on the streets dress themselves with thick jackets, scarves, gloves and hats.
It is only autumn now, and yet, there are signs of winter everywhere. Temperature ranges from 5 degrees to at most 15 degrees now.
With this environmental change, my journey towards experiencing a full winter is about to begin.....
ON my way to the gym, i saw the leaves scattered all over the ground. Leaves of brown and yellow. The trees are almost bare. On the ground, the sand is now wet with rain water. Leaves are strewn all over the ground. People on the streets dress themselves with thick jackets, scarves, gloves and hats.
It is only autumn now, and yet, there are signs of winter everywhere. Temperature ranges from 5 degrees to at most 15 degrees now.
With this environmental change, my journey towards experiencing a full winter is about to begin.....
Monday, October 24, 2005
Distractions
It has been quite some time since I made a decision to pursue a career in the Education Industry. I read aobut the industry, about the career prospects, challenges and the issues faced by the personnels working in the industry. I am so into the idea that it has become the lighthouse in me.
Today, I received an email from ITE saying that they would like to consider me for a Customer Service position at the Headquarters managing a Customer Contact Centre. I fit their requirements. My degree and experience in call centre environments make me a positive candidate. I do not mind going back into the industry too. It has its fun and challenges.
Then, it occured to me that I may be straying away from my goal. I questioned myself the reasons for being a teacher and choosing that industry. Being a teacher allows me to form relationships with my students and allows me to care and help the pupils in their development. This is what I love most. This is what gives me satisfaction. In the prevous two jobs, I cared more about my staff then the performance of the centre. It did not seem to work very well though. Internally, I had to fight to maintain the balance of performance versus welfare.
I know that being a teacher also requires performance. You need to help pupils learn and pass their tests and exams. It gives me more meaning and satisfaction though. A smile or simple words of gratitude is enough to keep me happy. In a corporate environment, the motivation is monetary, which does not really suit me. I search for meaning and fulfillment.
Knowing this, I feel much better. While I feel flattered that ITE is willing to consider me for an employment opportunity, a voice deep down inside me tells me that I have to go into teaching. Teaching allows me to fulfill me life goals and gives me the challenges to help me grow and develop.
So Jo. Do not be distracted. Stay focused on ur goals and the reasons for ur actions!
Today, I received an email from ITE saying that they would like to consider me for a Customer Service position at the Headquarters managing a Customer Contact Centre. I fit their requirements. My degree and experience in call centre environments make me a positive candidate. I do not mind going back into the industry too. It has its fun and challenges.
Then, it occured to me that I may be straying away from my goal. I questioned myself the reasons for being a teacher and choosing that industry. Being a teacher allows me to form relationships with my students and allows me to care and help the pupils in their development. This is what I love most. This is what gives me satisfaction. In the prevous two jobs, I cared more about my staff then the performance of the centre. It did not seem to work very well though. Internally, I had to fight to maintain the balance of performance versus welfare.
I know that being a teacher also requires performance. You need to help pupils learn and pass their tests and exams. It gives me more meaning and satisfaction though. A smile or simple words of gratitude is enough to keep me happy. In a corporate environment, the motivation is monetary, which does not really suit me. I search for meaning and fulfillment.
Knowing this, I feel much better. While I feel flattered that ITE is willing to consider me for an employment opportunity, a voice deep down inside me tells me that I have to go into teaching. Teaching allows me to fulfill me life goals and gives me the challenges to help me grow and develop.
So Jo. Do not be distracted. Stay focused on ur goals and the reasons for ur actions!
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Kiasuism
Matt asked me what the definition of Kiasuism is. To most Singaporeans, it means a lot. Gist of it is that it refers to behaviour which focuses on one's own individual selfish needs and whch causes irritation to others. Is this term only applicable to Singaporeans or does it apply to every living organism?
Every human being has needs and wants. The distinction is how we achieve them. Do we achieve our needs and wants using methods which inconvenience others and cause them discomfort? Or do we behave in ways which is exagerrated and unnecessary? Or do we have unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others with respect to our wants and needs?
From my point of view, I reckon that when it comes to achieving our own needs and wants, we tend to do whatever necessary and sometimes even more. The question is do we know when and where to draw our line of rationality.
So far, just because Singapore is the place that I have grown up in, I have seen only the "ugly" side of Singaporeans. My travel experience is not much and hence would not account for an accurate assessment of whether non-Singaporeans are kiasu or not.
Afterall, being a human being, and with the "survival of the fittest" element ingrained in us, we would somehow fight for the things that we want. So, how enlightened will we grow and evolve to be in the future?
Every human being has needs and wants. The distinction is how we achieve them. Do we achieve our needs and wants using methods which inconvenience others and cause them discomfort? Or do we behave in ways which is exagerrated and unnecessary? Or do we have unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others with respect to our wants and needs?
From my point of view, I reckon that when it comes to achieving our own needs and wants, we tend to do whatever necessary and sometimes even more. The question is do we know when and where to draw our line of rationality.
So far, just because Singapore is the place that I have grown up in, I have seen only the "ugly" side of Singaporeans. My travel experience is not much and hence would not account for an accurate assessment of whether non-Singaporeans are kiasu or not.
Afterall, being a human being, and with the "survival of the fittest" element ingrained in us, we would somehow fight for the things that we want. So, how enlightened will we grow and evolve to be in the future?
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Teaching of values in Schools
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/10/16/prom.canceled.ap/index.html
The above link tells a story of how a principal of a roman-catholic school has made the decision to cancel the school's prom after the students went overboard in terms of the activities and cost spent. Students are willing to spend thousands of dollars to rent a party house, to dress themselves up, have fun with booz and sex using prom as an excuse. The principal finally took the stand of saying no as it does not follow the values taught by the school.
Some parents agree and some parents do not agree with the decision saying that it is the decision of the students what they want to do.
Well, my personal opinion is that proms are a waste of money to a certain extent. YOu spend so much money to look good for one night just to be seen and to drown yourself in booz and sex. THe time and money could be put to better use.
On the other hand, what about the students? What do they think? I wonder, what is going on in their minds? What drove them to make this decision? WIth my limited knowledge about the developmental psychology of teenagers, I can only deduce that for girls, the prom is an opportunity for them to express themselves through fashion and looks. As for the boys, I have no idea.
Nevertheless, I am beginning to understand why school can be so rigid at times. It is the values that hold a school together. What are the values invovled? What are your values?
Stockholm
We were in Stockholm for the weekend. Stockholm. I wonder how to describe it. The new town has the makings of a cosmopolitan city where there are shopping malls, restaurants and boutiques. The old town has the seventeenth century buildings with small shops lining the streets. The streets in the Old Town or Gamla Stan are cobbled and there are very few cars.
Both of them are linked merely by a few bridges. A few minutes walk and you enter a different atmosphere.
We spent less than forty-eight hours in Stockholm. But that was enough for one special incident to take place.
We were all on the bus trying to get to Drottningholm Palace. That is where the Swedish Royalty spend their summer. So there we were, a group fo tourists looking out of the window for signs that were were on track. Then there was this Swedish lady with a little girl on board the bus sitting opposite us. Seeing that we had some confused looks on our faces, she asked if we needed some assistance. I thought we were managing alright and so I declined. But Boon Chuong asked her how do we get to Drottningholm palace and she gave us some instructions. And we said our thanks soon as she alighted.
I wonder. Was it rude of me to decline her assistance? I mean, she was thoughtful enough to offer her help to us strangers.....??? After that, I felt bad Even though I knew the way, I probably should have asked her again so that she would not look so embarrassed?
Wondering......
Both of them are linked merely by a few bridges. A few minutes walk and you enter a different atmosphere.
We spent less than forty-eight hours in Stockholm. But that was enough for one special incident to take place.
We were all on the bus trying to get to Drottningholm Palace. That is where the Swedish Royalty spend their summer. So there we were, a group fo tourists looking out of the window for signs that were were on track. Then there was this Swedish lady with a little girl on board the bus sitting opposite us. Seeing that we had some confused looks on our faces, she asked if we needed some assistance. I thought we were managing alright and so I declined. But Boon Chuong asked her how do we get to Drottningholm palace and she gave us some instructions. And we said our thanks soon as she alighted.
I wonder. Was it rude of me to decline her assistance? I mean, she was thoughtful enough to offer her help to us strangers.....??? After that, I felt bad Even though I knew the way, I probably should have asked her again so that she would not look so embarrassed?
Wondering......
Friday, October 14, 2005
OCD -Obsessive compulsive behaviour
This is the topic that was aired on Dr Phil's show today. OCD. At the time of the episode, it was said that 1 million people in America has OCD. OCD causes people to react aggressively to the thoughts that they have. They become so obsessed with their thoughts and fantasies that they think it is true. And during all this time, the world around them cannot seem to understand their actions. One girl, for example, hangs all the crosses she has in her room. She is tormented by guilt and worry. Worried that she gets contaminated, or that she does something which inevitably causes harm to others. She washes her hands more than 30 times a day, uses more than 10 towels per trip to the toilet to clean herself, uses her elbows to open her drawers etc to prevent germs from getting to her hands and so on. These people exhibit extreme behaviours because of the thoughts they have in their minds. They are on the edge most of the time. This affects their lives because they feel different from the normal people around them.
It is sad. No one knows what actually goes on in their minds to be able to empathize with them, unless you have been through it. There is no miracles cure, only medication to control emotions and behavioural theraphy. It may take a long time on the road to recovery. It all depends on the person....
Sad....... :(
It is sad. No one knows what actually goes on in their minds to be able to empathize with them, unless you have been through it. There is no miracles cure, only medication to control emotions and behavioural theraphy. It may take a long time on the road to recovery. It all depends on the person....
Sad....... :(
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Oprah in South Africa
I caught the screening of Oprah's show today. It was the issue on the work that she and some other people such as Brad Pitt and Alicia Keys, have done in South Africa.
The mention of South Africa probably brings the thoughts of Aids and poverty to mind. In my mind, I think of many little children who are malnourished, poor and abused.
With Oprah's influence and clout, she brought the donations of the Americans and people from other parts of the world into South Africa. Oprah bought uniforms for the children so that they could go to school. Oprah paid the salaries of the teachers for the next three years so that they could keep on teaching in schools made out from shipping containers. Oprah bought books for the children so that they each have a storybook of their own. Oprah brought them undergarments because they cannot even afford them. Even the clothes that they wear are handed down from whoever and mended multiple times. There was a boy who had a pair of pants to go to school. But he has to keep holding on to his pants because his belt is broken and his zip is spoilt. Oprah gave the money to the various homes and institutions that are helping children and adults for different reasons.
It is amazing when you see the looks on the children's faces. A simple book or bag makes them so happy because they do not have access to such priviledges. Seeing someone there to smile to them and give them a hug draws giggles and joy because they are excited to meet people and they are happy to know that someone cares.
When I think about it, I think most of us have access to so many necessities and luxuries that sometimes, we take things for granted.
I wanna teach children about this. I have no idea yet but I want to show them that they are very lucky to have whatever they need in Singapore. Lord, show me the way! Amen.
Monday, October 10, 2005
Get over that dilemma!!!
Alright, after some pondering and consultation with close friends around me, it is time I put a closure to this issue. I wrote an email to all my friends affected and explained that I did give their numbers and I also did have an agreement with my financial planning friend that she would only call if I give her the green light. A few of them responded and said that it was alright. They understand that this is part of the job and I was only trying to help. Some even commented that they made appointments to meet up with my friend to learn more although they did not have the means to invest. One of them even commented that he had a nice time talking to her.
A few replied acknowledging that they accept my apologies and hope that this will not happen again.
What is done cannot be undone. This is a lesson for me. I had the opportunity to see who are the ones who are matured enough to understand that this is how the Financial Planners work. I also had the chance to see who are the ones who are particular about privacy.
Is it right or wrong to give away phone numbers in this situation? There is no right or wrong answer. Why is this so?
For people who understand that this is part of the job and that I was only trying to help, they are alright with it because they know that it is not something illegal.
For people who prioritize privacy over everything else, they see it as a breech of trust.
Alternatively, I could have handled the situation the other way round. That is, I do not give the numbers. Instead, I check out with my friends first and if they are interested will I give the numbers. But if I did it that way, my friend would not have any leads at all because none of them would be interested. Then I would not be able to help her. At least in the current situation, she managed to speak to some who are open-minded and understanding enough to keep her in view should they be interested.
While I am still disturbed at the fact that she made the calls, I have to give her some credit for helping me understand my friends better.
So that is it. No right or no wrong. Rather, it is how we view it. It is subjective. Time to close the chapter, Jo!!!
A few replied acknowledging that they accept my apologies and hope that this will not happen again.
What is done cannot be undone. This is a lesson for me. I had the opportunity to see who are the ones who are matured enough to understand that this is how the Financial Planners work. I also had the chance to see who are the ones who are particular about privacy.
Is it right or wrong to give away phone numbers in this situation? There is no right or wrong answer. Why is this so?
For people who understand that this is part of the job and that I was only trying to help, they are alright with it because they know that it is not something illegal.
For people who prioritize privacy over everything else, they see it as a breech of trust.
Alternatively, I could have handled the situation the other way round. That is, I do not give the numbers. Instead, I check out with my friends first and if they are interested will I give the numbers. But if I did it that way, my friend would not have any leads at all because none of them would be interested. Then I would not be able to help her. At least in the current situation, she managed to speak to some who are open-minded and understanding enough to keep her in view should they be interested.
While I am still disturbed at the fact that she made the calls, I have to give her some credit for helping me understand my friends better.
So that is it. No right or no wrong. Rather, it is how we view it. It is subjective. Time to close the chapter, Jo!!!
Dilemma continued......
I told Matt about what happened. Matt commented that I was gullible and that I actually trusted my friend to keep to her promise. Well, the fact is, I did believe in that. Matt also said that I should not have given the numbers. Well, the more I think about it, the more I agree. Perhaps I should not have given the numbers in the first place. Friends trust you to give you their numbers. I should not have betrayed their trust.
Yet at the same time, I wanted to help my friend. If one is not interested in the products that someone is selling, all one needs to do is to politely decline. No one can force you to buy something that you do not want.
Did I do the wrong thing?
Oh Lord, please give me a sign.
Dilemma...
On my last trip back to Singapore, I met up with one of my ex-colleagues. She is now working as a Financial Planner. So we talked about the market and the industry and the possibility of me investing my money. I did not mind understanding more about the industry and so we talked. Thereafter, she asked me if I have any friends who might be interested. I was not sure if my friends would be interested. But I told her that I can check it out for her. She asked me for a list of numbers that she can call. But I said that she is not supposed to call the numbers until I give her the green light. I wanted to help her source for clients but at the same time, I do not want my friends to react negatively. She agreed and said that she would wait for my response before calling anyone.
So after that, I checked out for her but no one was interested. I replied her and told her not to call anyone of my friends as none of them was interested. However, a few days later, she went ahead to call them. Some of my friends told me about it. I confronted her and she said that since my friends are not negatively against the concept of investment, there is no harm just letting them know that she and her company exists.
Well, I understand her rationale. She was merely informing them of the services that her company offers. It is up to my friends to decided if they want to go further and explore the alternatives.
On the other hand, some of my friends are not that understanding, as I have realized. They came back to me and questioned why I gave their numbers away.
Well, I guess it could be viewed as a mistake to give my friend's numbers away. But I did it to help my other friend and with the understanding that if they were not interested, they could just tell the person and that would be the end of the story.
No matter what I say now, some of my friends are pissed purely at the fact that I gave their numbers away.
Despite the fact that I tried to shield them from the calls by telling my friend not to call them, she went ahead. I did try my best not to allow the negative consequences to happen. But it did anyway. I trusted her to act according to my findings, but she did not.
There seems to be nothing much that I can do now except to apologize to my friends.
Sigh, it seems like I will lose some friends soon. Did I do the wrong thing?
Friday, October 07, 2005
Ice-Cream Man!
Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong.....
Hear the bell ringing!!! It is the ice-cream man! Every Friday at about this time ( 4pm), the ice-cream truck comes round to the street in front of our apartment. The man rings the bell to tell everyone that he is here with his truckload of delicious ice-cream. The ice cream truck has the logo of "Hjem-Is" on it. I am not sure what is means but I think it means "home ice-cream" literally. A big man with white hair steps out of the truck and waits for anyone who is interested to come and buy the ice-cream. You can see all sorts of ice-cream flavours painted all over the truck. The truck has a base colour of blue, sky blue. And you can see ice cream in cones, in sticks, in cups and in tubs. And there are just so many different flavours.
It is a different picture as compared to the ice-cream uncles in Singapore. The types of ice-cream that is sold is also different. But I like the idea. I like this part of life where nostalgia kicks in. I remember the ice-cream man when I was young. I remember not being able to buy ice cream because I did not have the money. Now. I just simply love the sight of an ice cream truck stopping in front of my apartment and the big burly white-haired man stepping out of the truck proudly selling his ice cream. Although I have not tried the ice cream, I can taste the sweetness in me because I simple love the sight of it. The peace it brings, the simplicity it exudes, the pure sweetness of bringing a sweet dessert to people's house, the smiles it brings to the children and adults. I am just overwhelmed by this sight.
Hear the bell ringing!!! It is the ice-cream man! Every Friday at about this time ( 4pm), the ice-cream truck comes round to the street in front of our apartment. The man rings the bell to tell everyone that he is here with his truckload of delicious ice-cream. The ice cream truck has the logo of "Hjem-Is" on it. I am not sure what is means but I think it means "home ice-cream" literally. A big man with white hair steps out of the truck and waits for anyone who is interested to come and buy the ice-cream. You can see all sorts of ice-cream flavours painted all over the truck. The truck has a base colour of blue, sky blue. And you can see ice cream in cones, in sticks, in cups and in tubs. And there are just so many different flavours.
It is a different picture as compared to the ice-cream uncles in Singapore. The types of ice-cream that is sold is also different. But I like the idea. I like this part of life where nostalgia kicks in. I remember the ice-cream man when I was young. I remember not being able to buy ice cream because I did not have the money. Now. I just simply love the sight of an ice cream truck stopping in front of my apartment and the big burly white-haired man stepping out of the truck proudly selling his ice cream. Although I have not tried the ice cream, I can taste the sweetness in me because I simple love the sight of it. The peace it brings, the simplicity it exudes, the pure sweetness of bringing a sweet dessert to people's house, the smiles it brings to the children and adults. I am just overwhelmed by this sight.
What can I do for the children?
I have been surfing the website of NIE for information and related resources ever since I received the news that I have been offered a teaching position. I guess the excitement in me is just so enormous that I keep thinking about the days to come. Or perhaps this is just the initial stage of something new in my life.
The following questions popped up. Perhaps it would do me some good to pen it down?
- What are the possible topics for my project in NIE?
- What do I want to teach the little ones besides the topics included in the curriculum?
- I want to create awareness of how big the world is. How can I do that?
- Should I take up online courses while I am taking a break to increase my knowledge? What about the cost incurred?
- How should I spend my time in NIE? Just studying? Or should I join the clubs and activities? Will I have time?
- There are book prizes available for trainee teachers who do well academically. Will I be able to work my way up to the top few percent and be on the Dean's list or something? Am I that capable?
- I want to be involved in mentoring work, counselling and guidance perhaps. I want to give back to the little ones what my mentor has given me.
- I want to encourage the little ones and show them that the world is not as terrible as they may think. How can I do that?
- How can I encourage the little ones to be interested in other languages? TO be interested in other cultures?
The pondering has been so aggressive that I could not sleep last night. Even till now, I am still thinking about it when I am supposed to be working on my Dip in TESOL. :)
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Protecting our boundaries....
Many people do not realize it but we all do have our own boundaries. Signs of such boundaries surface when we get irritated or angry at things that happen. For example, when someone talks too much or moves into your sphere of comfort, you retaliate. You could probably make sacarstic remarks or give that person a look to indicate that you are not in agreement with that person's or that group of people's behaviour.
Applying this understanding into the situation that I am in, I can understand why some Danes are very wary about foreigners' presence in Denmark. The Danes have succeeded in creating a little haven for themselves. THis is a place where one can move about freely, express themselves freely and be at peace with oneself. (Of course, there is a minority who will disrupt this environment to being a balance between good and evil.) This is a place where family and security plays a very important role. The Danes feel comfortable being among their family members and friends. HOwever, with more foreigners coming here to work and experience a different lifestyle, it is no wonder that the Danes sometimes feel uncomfortable. This is their home and country. Suddenly, they are seeing more and more people who look different, work different and behave different. WHen a being comes into contact with foreign elements, it is a natural process and reaction that their defences go up.
Their boundaries are slowly being invaded and tested. Hence, some Danes are not that friendly towards other people. For those who are more tolerant and whose boundaries are not yet threatened, they are able to view a different perspective of the situation. They see foreigners as a chance for learning and enhancing their life experiences.
The other side of the coin falls on the foreigners. Have all foreigners been totally respectful of the Danes and their culture? NO one can be sure. I am affirmative that there would be some foreigners who are not sensitive to the way of life here and hence would have created some negative and unnecessary consequences. So, the Danes cannot be penalized for feeling threatened.
While this is a fact which cannot be changed, I just hope that I can contribute positively to the situation and meet Danes who are willing to accept me for who I am.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Finally....the news arrived!
Finally, the answer that I have been waiting so long for has arrived. MOE has accepted me into the teaching profession. Right now, I will have to manage the administrative procedures from Denmark. This includes chains of emails, long-distance phone calls and perhaps snail mail.
I was so happy when my brother messaged me that I called him to make sure. He was definitely pissed with the long-distance call but he was patient enough to answer my queries.
I was so happy that I dragged Matt out of the room and showed him the words that my brother typed.
Slowly, the heavy burden in me started to dissipate and I felt lighter. The worry and anxiety that I had been carrying for the past three weeks started to leave me. And hope and excitement started to seep in.
Now, I can put my mind into researching the various aspects of education and enjoying my many travel escapades so that I can prepare for my challenging career ahead.
Thank you so much!!!!!!!! (You know who you are!!!)
Monday, October 03, 2005
The beginning of the fourth week
Today is Monday. It is the beginning of the fourth week after my interview with MOE. I am still waiting and hoping that I can be accepted into the teaching profession. Thoughts of it pop up in my head every other minute. I think about how I can communicate with the little ones. I think about how I can make lessons interesting. I think about the activities that i can organize for the little ones. I think about how to accommodate other priorities in my life to fit in with the hours of the school system. I think about the career development paths that would be available in the education industry. I think about how I can upgrade myself so that I can be a more effective teacher not only in the classroom. I think about how I can deal with students facing difficult and challenging situations. THe list goes on.
But all these will just be dreams if I am not accepted. I have been praying so hard and hoping so hard but I have not heard anything from MOE. And there is nothing much that I can do now other than wait. I just hope that I can hear good news soon.
Dear Lord
The past few weeks have thought me that patience is a virtue and I should learn to take things in my stride. I have tried to learn from this experience and reflect on life. There are other things which demand my attention and focus other than this one thing. I have done what I could and hence, I should learn to put my faith in the Lord and trust that the Lord would do the rest for I know that I am progressing in a path which is destined for me.
Thank you Lord for the lesson taught. Thank you for teaching me to accept things that I cannot change, yet change the things that I can for a better future.
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
But all these will just be dreams if I am not accepted. I have been praying so hard and hoping so hard but I have not heard anything from MOE. And there is nothing much that I can do now other than wait. I just hope that I can hear good news soon.
Dear Lord
The past few weeks have thought me that patience is a virtue and I should learn to take things in my stride. I have tried to learn from this experience and reflect on life. There are other things which demand my attention and focus other than this one thing. I have done what I could and hence, I should learn to put my faith in the Lord and trust that the Lord would do the rest for I know that I am progressing in a path which is destined for me.
Thank you Lord for the lesson taught. Thank you for teaching me to accept things that I cannot change, yet change the things that I can for a better future.
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Swinging
I watched the Oprah Show today. The topic was "Swinging". I wondered what it meant. The word looks ordinary and innocent to me. As the show unfolded, I finally had the answer to the question.
Swinging is a word used to describe the behaviour of adults who are married who carry out their sexual fantasies openly with other people (other then their partners). These people are generally married couples with kids. They meet in clubs and start off with the usual dinner parties and end up having sex with other people. SOmetimes, it could be a threesome or group sex. These people may not necessarily know each other. THey could have just met one another at the party. And couples engage in such activies with each other knowing that their partners are also doing the same thing at the same place at the same time. IMagine a couple going to a party and they have sex with other people. Couples swop partners or they do it together. In such an environment, the "Swingers" claim their they can pursue their sexual fantasies without feeling guilty because their partners are in the know as well. THey also claim that it has helped their relationships becuase their sex lives have become more exciting.
It is amazing!
Oprah made a comment that marriage is changing. THe whole concept of tying the knot and being faithful to your partner is changing. While I can accept that this is the choice of consenting adults, I wonder how young children are able to understand this. I believe that sex education in schools teach children that they do not engage in sex till they are much older and sex is reserved for the partner of their lives. It is a special and intimate relationship and activity that one shares with his/her life partner. Hence, if parents are doing this, are their actions not contradicting what we are teaching the children? Will our children be able to trust us and respect us? Will the children themselves grow up with the integrity that we expect them to? It is a wonder.
Who is to blame for the incidents of teenagers getting pregnant? Adults are to blame for we set the examples with our actions, for we do not do what we preach. Who suffers the consequences for the wrong actions? It is not just the teenagers suffering. THe future generation suffers. THey will grow up in an environment where the concept of family, respect and love is all eroded. The general public suffers because children will grow up to be delinquents. They commit petty crimes to vent their frustrations. The whole world suffers.
Is that what we want for our children? Is that what we want our world to be? I am not sure about that.
Swinging is a word used to describe the behaviour of adults who are married who carry out their sexual fantasies openly with other people (other then their partners). These people are generally married couples with kids. They meet in clubs and start off with the usual dinner parties and end up having sex with other people. SOmetimes, it could be a threesome or group sex. These people may not necessarily know each other. THey could have just met one another at the party. And couples engage in such activies with each other knowing that their partners are also doing the same thing at the same place at the same time. IMagine a couple going to a party and they have sex with other people. Couples swop partners or they do it together. In such an environment, the "Swingers" claim their they can pursue their sexual fantasies without feeling guilty because their partners are in the know as well. THey also claim that it has helped their relationships becuase their sex lives have become more exciting.
It is amazing!
Oprah made a comment that marriage is changing. THe whole concept of tying the knot and being faithful to your partner is changing. While I can accept that this is the choice of consenting adults, I wonder how young children are able to understand this. I believe that sex education in schools teach children that they do not engage in sex till they are much older and sex is reserved for the partner of their lives. It is a special and intimate relationship and activity that one shares with his/her life partner. Hence, if parents are doing this, are their actions not contradicting what we are teaching the children? Will our children be able to trust us and respect us? Will the children themselves grow up with the integrity that we expect them to? It is a wonder.
Who is to blame for the incidents of teenagers getting pregnant? Adults are to blame for we set the examples with our actions, for we do not do what we preach. Who suffers the consequences for the wrong actions? It is not just the teenagers suffering. THe future generation suffers. THey will grow up in an environment where the concept of family, respect and love is all eroded. The general public suffers because children will grow up to be delinquents. They commit petty crimes to vent their frustrations. The whole world suffers.
Is that what we want for our children? Is that what we want our world to be? I am not sure about that.
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Hanging on
Here I am...still sick and tired....still waiting for the results of the application....When will I hear anything? Will I get the chance to be a teacher? I wonder, I pray and I wish.
Friday, September 30, 2005
No news yet....
I have not heard any news from my brother. I have not seen him online for a couple of days. Well, he could be busy looking for ways to get the frustration out of him. Frustration that comes from living in such a family. The only way I can help him is to get a flat as soon as I get back so that he can move in with us. It is not a permanent solution but at least, he gets some breathing space for the next three years. I am sorry that my actions to lead my life has added some stress onto him too.
I can only pray that he learns to take things in his stride and that he can grow stronger and hang on while I work towards a new home.
I can only pray that he learns to take things in his stride and that he can grow stronger and hang on while I work towards a new home.
Sharing my photos with the hope of sharing my joy
I have just sent the link to my birthday photos to some of my close friends and my bro (real one). Everytime I look at the photos, i am filled with joy and warmth. I am still in the state where I am trying to understand if all that has happened is real or not. Reason is that I never thought that anyone would bake me a cake for my birthday. All my birthdays have been spent at restaurants with my friends and Matt, separately of course.
Perhaps because it has been such a routine, I no longer felt that my birthday was special, I no longer felt that I was special as a person. Until a few days ago. SUddenly, I seemed to have found light again. I am still touched by the fact that someone would bake a cake for me and spend time with me. These are people whom I barely know for less than a year. Yet, they readily accepted me into their circle of friends and we spend every weekend together, doing anything from cooking to shopping. Honestly, I finally feel like I am in a real family, part of a family. I have never felt this way for the past 26 years. The past 26 years have been lonely and aimless for me, despite the fact the somehow, I managed to make it through the education system and end up with a partner.
I am still very happy and I hope that the people who see my photos are somehow able to feel that joy that I felt too.
Perhaps because it has been such a routine, I no longer felt that my birthday was special, I no longer felt that I was special as a person. Until a few days ago. SUddenly, I seemed to have found light again. I am still touched by the fact that someone would bake a cake for me and spend time with me. These are people whom I barely know for less than a year. Yet, they readily accepted me into their circle of friends and we spend every weekend together, doing anything from cooking to shopping. Honestly, I finally feel like I am in a real family, part of a family. I have never felt this way for the past 26 years. The past 26 years have been lonely and aimless for me, despite the fact the somehow, I managed to make it through the education system and end up with a partner.
I am still very happy and I hope that the people who see my photos are somehow able to feel that joy that I felt too.
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Three weeks aniversary
IN a few more hours, it would be exactly three weeks after my interview at MOE. I guess, whoever is reading this blog must think that I am crazy to keep pondering over the results of the interview. But this blog is one way which I can get the thoughts out of my mind and get on with daily life. I am hoping and praying that soon, I will hear some good news.
Dear Lord
I pray that I will receive good news from MOE soon!
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Dear Lord
I pray that I will receive good news from MOE soon!
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Am I alone?
"People have this need to improve their lives, to try to understand the mysteries of the world. People want to feel there's something more to life than there is on the surface, and this is reflected by their reading across the board, whether its The Road or Harry Potter."
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I am a believer of the above para. I want to discover life. I want to know what is beneath the surface. I want to look at the world around me with a different perspective, through a different window. I do not want to go through life's routine without understanding the meaning of life. Life on Earth should be celebrated because it gives us a chance to do things and create experiences unique to each individual. The path that we each take is unique and special. And because each of us has unique experiences, we learn different things. To make our lives richer, all we need to do is to share our unique experiences. We learn from one another through sharing. We can broaden our perspectives and create new windows with which we can view the world.
But somehow, I feel that I am alone. Not many people subscribe to my point of view. Many people are happy just earning more and more money and living a life of riches and achieving more and more "successes" in life. Especially in the country that I grew up in, life is all about results. There is academic results, career results and so on. The question is how much do the people understand about life? What do they think about compassion? What are their views about international issues such as poverty, education and security? Are they doing much to help others who are less fortunate? Or at least are they reading about world issues and understanding how the world is revolving around them? I am not sure about that...
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I am a believer of the above para. I want to discover life. I want to know what is beneath the surface. I want to look at the world around me with a different perspective, through a different window. I do not want to go through life's routine without understanding the meaning of life. Life on Earth should be celebrated because it gives us a chance to do things and create experiences unique to each individual. The path that we each take is unique and special. And because each of us has unique experiences, we learn different things. To make our lives richer, all we need to do is to share our unique experiences. We learn from one another through sharing. We can broaden our perspectives and create new windows with which we can view the world.
But somehow, I feel that I am alone. Not many people subscribe to my point of view. Many people are happy just earning more and more money and living a life of riches and achieving more and more "successes" in life. Especially in the country that I grew up in, life is all about results. There is academic results, career results and so on. The question is how much do the people understand about life? What do they think about compassion? What are their views about international issues such as poverty, education and security? Are they doing much to help others who are less fortunate? Or at least are they reading about world issues and understanding how the world is revolving around them? I am not sure about that...
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
My 26th Birthday in Denmark....
Yesterday was the 27 th September 2005. I celebrated my 26th birthday right here in Denmark with some of the most wonderful people I have ever known. The day went by very simply. We woke up, watched tv, had lunch at home, watched tv again and then went out for dinner. Dinner took place at one of the restaurants here where they served ribs. But both of us felt like having steak instead. Hence we ordered Sirloin Steak and a Coke to share. The steak was alright. But I loved the baked potato the most. Afterall, potato is my favourite, especially baked potatoes...:)
After dinner, we took a walk along the Stroget and headed in the direction of Lex's house. ALong the way, we walked past Stadium and we went in for a look. And definitely, we came out with some purchases. As we walked along the streets, the wind was blowing. It was cold, but I felt warm. It is a wonderful feeling walking peacefully along the streets, which is not crowded, with a person whom you feel comfortable with. Guess I never felt the intensity of such feelings till last night.
On the way, we passed Fakta and we went in to buy sugar for Ming.
We reached Ming's home and they were having dinner. As usual, we sat down for a drink and helped ourselves to the food. After dinner, we had cake. Orange Chiffon Cake made by Ming herself. No one has ever made a cake for me my whole life. I helped Ming with the cake, sieving the sugar. Ming decorated the cake with orange icing and slices of orange. Together, Ming, Boon Chuong, Lex and Matt sang a birthday song for me and Lex helped me to blow out the candles. After that, we settled down to enjoy the cake and some Champagne which I popped accidentally.
We chatted till about ten plus when everyone was red in the face due to the alcohol and Lex has already fallen asleep. Matt and I then left and headed home. On our way home, it started to drizzle and rain. So, instead of walking, we took the bus instead. While waiting at the bus-stop, there was a drunkard peeing along the street and he moved towards us as we were the only two human beings around the area. He spoke Danish which we definitely did not understand. A while later, the bus came and we headed home.
The day was simple but I felt happy and warm. It seemed like I had finally found warmth and happiness.
Dear Lord
Thank you for the day. I pray that you bless the wonderful people who have made it possible. I pray for a miracle that I can become a teacher. I pray for strength and courage to live my days ahead in a way that I can bring happiness to Matt and myself. I pray for my wonderful friends who sent me greeting via other channels for they remember and they make the efforts to tell me that they love me.
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Monday, September 26, 2005
It has been two weeks after my interview at MOE to be a teacher. I am still waiting for their reply as to whether I am successful or not. THe wait is killing me. Thoughts of being a teacher, conducting lessons, correcting the homework of the students, being angry at the students for not behaving in class and so on. Any possible thoughts and experiences of a being a teacher keep running through my mind. Last night, amidst my cough and sore throat, I dreamt that I was not accepted into the teaching profession. In my dream, I felt sad. This morning, I wake to the cloudy skies. The first thing that came to my mind was whether I would hear news about my application. The pining for acceptance into the teaching profession is really testing my patience.
Dear Lord
I pray for a miracle. I pray that I can realise my dream of becoming a teacher. I pray that I can be given a chance to show the young ones what the world has to offer. I want to be there to encourage them and show them that there is still hope. WHen they need someone to talk to, I want to be there for them. When they need encouragement amidst obstacles, I want to be there to support them. When they want to achieve success, I want to be there to help them along the way. When they want to know how beautiful and how big the world is, I want to be there to show them what I have seen.
I may not have been a good girl all my life to deserve this opportunity. But I pray that I can make it up by giving love, care and concern so that the young ones will not have to go through what I went through. I want them to grow up knowing that there is love and hope in this world after all.
This is all I ask for.
Dear Lord
I pray for a miracle. I pray that I can realise my dream of becoming a teacher. I pray that I can be given a chance to show the young ones what the world has to offer. I want to be there to encourage them and show them that there is still hope. WHen they need someone to talk to, I want to be there for them. When they need encouragement amidst obstacles, I want to be there to support them. When they want to achieve success, I want to be there to help them along the way. When they want to know how beautiful and how big the world is, I want to be there to show them what I have seen.
I may not have been a good girl all my life to deserve this opportunity. But I pray that I can make it up by giving love, care and concern so that the young ones will not have to go through what I went through. I want them to grow up knowing that there is love and hope in this world after all.
This is all I ask for.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Hope
It has been a few days since I wrote in the blog. The past few days were terrible. Constant pangs of headache attacks, stomach cramps and so on as a result of a female body's reactions to the monthly cycle.
While all these are going on, there were other things going on in my life too. THe decisions that have been made and the other considerations that come along with them. SUddenly I was overwhelmed with the fact that I would be tied down to a certain extent because of money. And the only way that I can get out of it is to earn as much as I can. But how much can a teacher earn? I am not saying that a teacher's job is not good. It is a rewarding career and I very much like to go into that profession. Acknowledging my destiny of being a traveller, I need the resources and means to be able to travel. MOney is one main aspect. While I would be able to obtain a steady income and perhaps a little more if I give tuition, it would take me some time before I can move out of the country. And with the debts that I will have to incur with the new home and furnishings that come along with it, it would take even longer.
Nothing comes free....Freedom comes with a price. ANd that for me would be a few more years in that country before I can move on to the next....
Dear Lord
I pray for your blessings that I would be able to teach. Thereafter, I pray for your blessings that I would be able to travel and teach in as many different countries as possible to bring knowledge and hope to children. TO show them that there is much more to life and to encourage them to view life from a different perspective.
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
How should I manage my wedding?
So, it has come to a stage whereby I have to go through the entire wedding banquet. I have more of less accepted the fact that I cannot run away from that. The only thing now is that I want the entire night to proceed without any hiccups. And I do not want to see certain people at the dinner. Deep down, I think I still carry some of the burden of the past. I should learn to let go. Maybe I can still invite certain people but I need not be so friendly to them. Or I can just ignore them.
Dear Johanna, remember that there are factors which you can influence and factors which you cannot. YOu can influence the people whom you want to invite to your wedding. You can talk yourself into not being affected by the emotions of the people around you and go through everything. You can learn to put your trust in a few people and get their assistance like what Clarissa said.
Dear Lord
I know it is not right to harbour feelings of dislike or hatred. BUt somehow, I do dislike certain people in my family and I do dislike their behavior. Lord, teach me to be forgiving, teach me to accept things which I cannot change. Lord, teach me to be kind.
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
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