I pray for peace

Yesterday, my mind was totlly immersed in the area of getting a new flat and how to renovate it. I was thinking about the time and money required to get a flat and decorate it such that it will be cosy for both of us.

Yet, he was not that interested at all. Or maybe not as interested as I expected him to be. HIs focus was more on getting a posting to go back to Singapore. Well, that is logical. WIthout a posting back to Singapore, the other plans would not work out. But still, I had hoped that he showed more interest rather than give me his usual nonchalant attitude. I needed the assurance.

Deep down inside me, the monsters are stirring again. I thought about my past. THe environment that I grew up in and the effects today. I do not want to go back to that environment again. I want an environment in which I can feel safe. I want to be with people whom I can trust and count on when I need someone. Matt is everything to me. I trust him. I know that he would not leave me in the lurch one day. And because of this, I want to build a nest with him. A beautiful and simple nest for the two of us. A new chapter, a new start, a new beginning to a new future.

Guess it is also because of the weather that I am feeling so depressed. The sun is barely out each day. Darkness engulfs everyone and everywhere. I have been feeling lethargic and sick. No matter how much I sleep, it does not seem to be enough.

I hope that I will get over this stage of winter soon because I have lots to do.

Dear Lord

I pray for strength to overcome this environmental effect on the human body, such that I may get back to work on building up my knowledge and skills for future use. I also pray that I can learn to be more patient and take things one at a time. I pray for peace in me so that I may not keep thinking about the past. I pray for peave and harmony between Matt and me so that we may work out our plans for the future. I pray for peace, happiness and good health for the people I love.

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.