Sprained Ankles - An awakening?

Today is Monday the 13th, November 2006. I had a premonition that something would happen. But I wasn't sure what. Then it all came like a flash of lightning. Early this morning, at about 2 am, i had very bad stomachache-the kind which you get only once in a blue moon. Then I woke up early this morning to get ready to conduct my very first fieldwork. Everything went smoothly until I stepped off the pavement to board the bus. Somehow, I simply lost my footing and fell. Well, it is not really the fall that got to me. It was the fact that I actually sprained both my ankles that really kinda woke me up. I limped all the way to YCK where I met the rest of the team. Amazingly, we still made it to Jalan Kayu for prata and Maran helped bandaged my ankles to keep the swelling in check.

Last minute changes had to be made and I ended up doing the introduction and closure to the fieldwork. But I knew that it was not my best. My words and thoughts were flying all over the place. Behaviour management was atrocious. The "children" were not listening to instructions. And there were many instances during which they were in between roles assigned.

Feedback given was valid, I thought. Although I felt that in the actual situation, the kids would not have been so naughty as they are in a new environment.

Throughout the day, I was still in a form of shock. I still managed to smile and make conversation with people. Yet, i knew I was not totally sane.

Dear Lord,

Were you trying to tell me something? If you were trying to teach me that I should not view people using the lens of negativity, I think I get the idea. I feel pain in the flesh, yet comfort in my soul. Why do I say that? Strangers I met along the way throughout my experience asked if I was ok and if I needed help. They kinda of empathized with me. It could be curiosity, but they broke the suspicion barrier and spoke to me.

I never thought people here would be nice. Perhaps I should start seeking out the good instead of focusing my attention on the bad...

Thank you , dear Lord.

I understand now.

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Hi Dear,

If you are reading this entry, please dun worry. I know I am kinda clumsy and often get into such trouble. I will try to be strong and get through everything. I am very pampered by you. And I guess because I have been having such a nice hubby taking care of me, I am too used to comfort. This makes me more vulnerable because subconsciously, the expectations have been set.

I wished so much you were here with me, but I know I have to be strong.

So I will simply take good care of myself and wait for you to come back.

Love,

Nana