Space of my own

I had dinner at his parent's place today. It was a stressful one. I wonder if the stress was real or was it created by myself.

From the moment I step into the house, there was nothing I could do except to go to the toilet, watch tv and walk into his room. His sister's room is out of bounds, so is the kitchen. I always had this feeling there is an unspoken rule that I would not be able to go into his sister's room because she owns it. It is still hers even though she has moved out. Afterall, she has lived there for God knows how many years. To his parents, I believe that I could never take the place of their daughter in their hearts as well as in the physical environment that they live in. Likewise, the kitchen is the mother's territory. Touch any of the utensils other than your own glass and you have created the opportunity for ignition.

The dinner was also a challenge because I did not have much appetite. It is challenging trying to get used to the food in Singapore after some time abroad eating healthily. I feel sick. I can feel the oil sticking to the lining of my blood vessels. I can feel my lungs working harder to function. I can feel the pores on my face squeezing as much oil as possible out of my body system.

I think I have to get back to sandwiches and lettuce very soon.....