Spinning a cocoon

Everyday, I spin a cocoon around myself. The more layers I spin, the less others can hurt me. The more layers I spin, the more I can distant myself from some people. I build this barrier to keep out the invaders who want to make use of my vulnerability so that I will submit to them. These people have hurt me before, and they operate on the basis of authority and dictatorship. I hate them.

Can I call this a self-defence mechanism that was born with me? I look back in time. Everytime something happens and I feel the hurt, I withdraw more and more. I am not the aggresive kind of person who would go all way out to make a point. I do not believe in imposing my beliefs on others. Everyone has the right to choose their own set of values and beliefs. If my set does not compliment or go well with another person's, we will just have to stay away from one another or clash and suffer. I choose to former.


There are so many choices and paths in life. Why hang on to something which does not bring you joy and happiness? By spinning a cocoon around myself, I am also actually creating a new path for myself, a new path to happiness and away from the hurt and misery and fear.

I hate the disturbances when my pepertrators keep poking my cocoon and try to force me out of it. The more they try to get me out, the more I hide, the more I hate them, the more I want to get away. Is this a sign of avoidance and escape? Well, they will never be able to understand me anyway. So why waste the time and efforts to open my heart to them? So what if they listen to me? They will still insist on their set of values and beliefs. That is why they are so autocratic!!!

I hate them!!!!