Waves of fear

For some mysterious reasons, I have had thoughts of fear. Fear of losing him to God. He has become so dear to me that I cannot stand the moments we are apart sometimes. Especially when he takes overseas trips. I am always afraid that something bad would happen to him when he is overseas and that I cannot be there. I think I have finally found someone dear to me. Someone whom I can really now consider family. Thoughts of him fill my day and night. There are simply so many instances that I want to be near him and make sure that he is safe and sound. I cannot lose him. I cannot do without him. God knows that I will not be able to handle it if he were to leave me one day.

I look forward to the days when we can have our own home and snuggle every night in each others' arms. It gives me a very warm and cosy feeling. I feel protected and loved. I have to admit that I was naive and ignorant in the past. Not being able to recognise that I have such a precious treasure with me.

I pray to God every night to keep him safe and sound and happy. All I want is for him to be happy and to be with me. Perhaps this can be labelled as being selfish. But I just cannot do without him. Marriage makes more meaning to me now that I have such strong feelings. But that piece of paper still does not mean anything. Whether or not that piece of paper exists is not critical. What is imperative is the kind of feelings that we have for each other. The kind of need and want and desire to be in each other's lives.

Dear Lord,

I pray as always that you help to bless him and keep him safe and sound and happy. I pray that you bless us with a happy family and that we can grow old together. I do not mind ending our journeys in each other's arms at the same time. All I pray for and ask for is that you do not take away the most important person in my life and that you bless us with a happy life ahead as we trudge through the jungle of challenges. Please Lord, that is very important to me.

I give thanks and praise to thee.

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.