Birthday 2005 vs 2009

Yesterday was my birthday.

Thoughts of my birthday celebration in Copenhagen came to my mind. That was the only birthday I felt truly happy. A simple cake, baked by Lex and family, and having people I care about by my side. Matt, of course, and the cute and adorable Lex and his family. I remember the cold weather, though it was not winter yet. The cozy and warm atmosphere at Lex's apartment. For the first time in my life, I celebrated my birthday in a family context, with people I felt comfortable with. The one year I spent in Denmark, was made very memorable by Lex who brought smiles to my face, although there were times he was quite mischievous too. Lex is the first child who had very close contact with me. I never really had younger siblings or relatives to play with. Lex was the one who taught me about the emotions and feeling of children. He taught me about the innocence of life. He taught me about the importance of parenthood.

Last week, Matt and I bought me a mini-cake. An advance celebration. He decorated the cake.
And of course, we had a good time enjoying the cake!

But the real cake came yesterday. My very first ice-cream cake in 30 years!

My Birthday Cake decorated by Matt

Hmm....it was fun....(except that the little boy beside us kept stealing our cream to decorate his own cake which ended up to be a mess!!!) Some simple decorations...the process was enjoyable.

There is no such thing as a free lunch!!! Use your brains!

Yesterday, I was with the kids at Istana. We were there working of course. Sweating it out in the sun performing. The personnel at the Istana provided us with bottled water and some pastry as we were there performing for more than an one hour in the end. While the kids were blowing their lungs out, I stood at the side, observing and guarding the drinks!! Why was I doing the job of a security officer guarding bottled mineral water??? The reason is damn simple. Some people think that they can simply take without asking!!! These THIEVES!!!!!!! Obviously, the water is for the kids. Yet, people simply walked over and took the bottles without even asking if they were eligible for it. In the end, I had to stand there and say " Excuse Me" as loudlly as I could whenever they walk in that direction

Just a few meters away from us, there were booths selling ice-cream and drinks. You will not miss them!

Hey People!!! Use your brains and use your eyes!!! If the water is free at the Istana, I am sure there would be people eagerly giving it out.

Conclusion - These people do not have brains, they are blind and have no idea of what the meaning of social etiquette is. Yet, these people think that they are smart and gracious. What arrogance and ignorance!!!!! Is that how educated people would behave?

Deutschland

Ich setze mich vor dem Schreibtisch. Aus der Laptop kommt schöne Musik, Deutsche Musik. Jetzt kann ich mich in Ruhe entspannen. Ich habe noch Arbeit aus der Schule, aber, ich denke, dass ich eine kurze Pause machen kann. Die Zeit vergeht wie im Flug. In einige Wochen fahre ich nach Heidelberg. Jeden Tag kann ich nur von Heidelberg träumen. Ich lese viel über die Städte, die ich besuchen will. Ich will die Deutsche Geschichte lernen. Ich will die Kultur und Sprache lernen. Ich will alles Deutsch erleben. Mein Herz ist schon in Deutschland, seit vielen Jahren da. Ich will nach Deutschland. Nur in Deutschland kann ich das Gefühl haben, dass ich zu Hause bin.

Ich erinnere mich an das Essen, das Kaffe und so viele andere Sache, die für mich mit Deutschland eine Verbindung gibt.

Ein Lied von Uwe Busse

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_QJI2Fd9ok

Ein Buch fertig gelesen

„Maria, ihm schmeckt’s nicht“ von Jan Weiler. Das habe ich fertig gelesen!!! Yeah. Ich glaube, es ist schon 6 Wochen. Ich habe das Buch in 6 Wochen gelesen. Ich stehe auf den Standpunkt, dass ich einen kleinen Erfolg erreichen habe. Mit so viel Arbeit kann ich dass machen. Das ist wunderbar!!!! was soll ich weiter lesen??

Andre Rieu

Sometimes, we can only watch in awe the wonderful gifts that others have and wonder if we ourselves have any talent whatsoever.

Teachers' Day

My pupils were very sweet. They planned a party for me and gave me a surprise on 31 Aug 2009. With all the windows shut and lights off, I walked into the classroom and all of them surprised me with greetings and of course some really loud 'explosions'. The day went by with some work done in class and some celebration. They surrounded me and drowned me with all their gifts. I was touched. They were like my 'children' cuddling up with me. That feeling could not be described. I felt loved and happy.

Back home, I took out their gifts one by one and studied them. Some of them gave me handmade things such as artwork and cards. Some of them spent their money on gifts bought from the gift shop. I was praying that they had not spent too much money. As I went through the gifts, what really made me cry was the honest thoughts inscribed on the simple cards. They thanked me for what I have done for them and they told me that they understood why I scolded them. There is this girl who wrote to me in Mandarin. She is a very quiet student and she does not say much. Sometimes, I also wonder what goes on in her mind. But her letter to me was very simple and straightforward. She conveyed her thoughts to me through the beauty of words and she made something very simple for me. I can imagine her at home, sitting at her table, putting in all her efforts to ensure that there is no error and everything is as perfect as can be. That thought tugged at my heartstrings and I was simply too happy for words.

I am not perfect. There were times when I had made mistakes too. Yet, these children's affections for me makes me feel guilty because my expectations for myself are so high that I have not reached them yet. But these children accept me for who I am. As much as they do bring anxiety and stress into my life, they also bring that sense of joy the whole time.

That is why I sometimes feel that society is too harsh on these children. They are innocent. Yet, with the progress of the world today, they have to be subjected to the harsh dynamics of the environment. In order to protect them, I need to raise their awareness and get them to develop skills for survival but this is not easy. We need 2 hands to clap together with other external factors, which are often contradicting.

Still, I know that the present will be memories for me. When I am on my deathbed, the memories will flash in my mind before I find my way to God.

Teachers' day is also a day related to Matt. Without Matt by my side and supporting me, I do not think that I can make it. As I have told him, he is my guardian angel who has been guiding me all these years. All my blessings now, are given by God, and Matt is one of them. This, I will never ever forget, even if I lose my memory one day.

Dead Sea Scrolls

Matt and I went to the exhibition yesterday. As someone who is interested in Christianity, it was an avenue to find out more about the origin and perhaps interesting stories surrounding the development of Christianity over time.

First of all, what hit us was that the price of the tickets was kinda overpriced. For that small scale of exhibition and the limited artefacts that they had on display, (in comparison to Europe and Germany!!!) it did not warrant $20 (or approximately 10 Euros). The exibitions that I have been to in Germany cost about 5 to 7 Euros per person and the scale is much larger with more information (with translation) and artefacts. The attention given to details to ensure that visitors are transported to a different dimension during their visit is so much that one comes out of the exhibition refreshed with renewed perspectives. Sad to say, my expectations were not met.

Even so, I have to give credit to the organizer. Without this exhibition, I guess, the average singaporean will still be hiding in their shells and thinking that what they see is in their shell is all the world is about. I am not sure of the statistics but I am sure that Singaporeans and definitely not museum-goers. I guess they prefer shopping, karaoke etc more than learning about other realms of knowledge.

Although the ticket was overpriced and I did not get the feeling of being in a different dimension, I did leave the exhbition with some new knowledge. Names like William Tyndale, the man behind the original English bible, Martin Luther, Desiderius Erasmus and King James made an imprint on my brain. When the whole picture is presented before one, it makes things easier especially in seeing the inter-connectedness. But, as I have said earlier, the scale and depth of the exhibition did not do much justice to the beauty of the Theme.

http://www.williamtyndale.com/0welcomewilliamtyndale.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Tyndale

One detail about William Tyndale struck a cord with me. He was a gifted linguist who could speak 7 languages fluently and one could not tell which his native language was. It took me 30 years to finally see things clearly. It took me 30 years to find my faith and passion. And now, I have to work towards my passion and steer in the right direction. It will not be easy, but I know that I will be happier and that is the way for me to go.

I have been praying to God to give me the strength and courage. My circumstances present some challenges in me pursuing my dream. I beseech God to walk the journey with me and open my eyes and mind to clarity of the world around me. The past few weeks made me feel as if I was falling into quicksand. The quicksand is like the feelings that I have been experiencing: depression, isolation and sadness. I beseeched God to save me and pull me out of this quicksand. I beseeched God to teach me to place my faith and trust in him. For I am afterall a sinner who has been redeemed by God. I am so imperfect that God has to redeem me again and again. His Way and Word are still very much beyond my comprehension. And I can only pray that he continues to guide me and reveal his Love and Grace.