The exams are round the corner again. Once more, the pupils are "busy" revising and preparing for the papers while the teachers are busy marking and reminding them what they have learnt for the past few years.
I have been sick for quite a few days already. Been trying to keep going till my body finally gave way yesterday. And as I expected, when the cat is not around, the mice will come out to play. Irrational and non-sensical behaviour started surfacing. The kids probably had a fun time playing not seeing my stern and fierce face for a day.
I went back to school today. Did the revision in class. It really scares me to see the kids so preoccupied with other unimportant things. Like what I told my hubby, it seems like that teacher is much more stressed out and worried that the pupils themselves.
I guess I must have been really fierce and upset today. The pupils were trying to cheer me up through their jokes and silly actions, which were kinda cute. But I was too focused on preparing them for the exams. For a while, I wondered if I had been a good teacher. Maybe my teaching methods are still not polished enough. Maybe I have been too serious? I should perhaps learn to be a little more relaxed and jovial?
Hmmmmm.................
Some of them really worry me. I cannot blame them, I think. When I think of the home support that they have, I really wonder how they live their everyday lives of loneliness, emptiness and lack of attention. Yet, I am only one person. As much as I want to shower them with love and attention, there is a limit to what I can give.
Oh Lord, guide me. Please give me the strength to go on in spite of the difficulties ahead. Show me the way to touch them in their lives and give them the little nudge that they need to move ahead.
Amen.
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