The Day I was Reborn

22nd May 2008

This is the day I was given new life. God took away my sins and gave me a new breath of life through water. On this day, I was baptised through full immersion. On this day, I felt the Holy Spirit descend upon me. Nothing exceptionally magical took place. Everything was peaceful and joyful. I cried during my baptism. THe thought of being reborn again, the thought of Jesus on the cross and redeeming our sins touched my heart so deeply. I felt it during baptism. The whole evening. Even as we sat listening to the readings and singing the hymns. I felt my life changing every moment. The joy of knowing that I am able to partake in the Holy Communion now is profound. I have no words to describe it. I feel something in me that has been renewed. I just felt it. I can feel God with me and the Holy Spirit in me. I am not the old me anymore.

Bitte Segnen Sie uns und Vielen Dank, Jesus Christus.

Amen.

My Medical Report

I received my medical report today from Alexandra Hospital. Things do not look so good for me. My BMI is still within the healthy range but it is at the brink of touching the danger border. My other results seem normal but my blood pressure is high. Based on the report, I have the highest rick of diabetes, hypertension, stroke, colorectal cancer and breast cancer. I have not been doing the kinda tests that medical professionals advise females to do as they age. My exercise rountine has gone down the drain with all my work and other committments. I do not restrict my diet that tightly. So, in a way, I guess, all these factors are leading my health indicators downhill. My body is vermutlich crying out for help. Hmmmmmm........ I am lost as to what I should do or how I should even think now. I never believed in insurance. I belong to the extremists who would rather choose death than being a burden to others.

But I shocked myself by saying out loud that I do not want to die yet. Is it because of Matt? Is it because I still hold on to the fantasy of being a princess and living in Disneyland with my Prince Charming? Is it because I feel needed by the kids in my class? Is it because God has given me so much in spite of my unworthiness that I feel the need to keep my body functioning so as to do God's will? I wonder.

Dear Lord,

Please speak to me. Give me a sign. Guide in as I tread along in this tunnel of darkness.

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Incompatibility

Time was not right. Place was not right. Everything just was not right today. I was feeling down, alone and upset. Over a couple of things. So I thought, perhaps a little shopping spree or indulgence in sinful foods would solve the problem. So I suggested going out to town for a movie and a walk. But he said he was tired. So my plans went down the drain. I cannot really blame anyone though. It was just the wrong time.