Taking a step back

Recently, other than feeling tired, lethargic and exhausted, I realised that I need to take a step back to re-evaluate my life. Somehow, although I know where I am heading and what I should be doing, a voice in me is telling me to just slow down and have some quiet time for myself. The voice says that I need to soak in the moment and understand life. There is an understanding, an enlightenment, a revelation that is waiting for me to discover. I have to find it. And till I find it, I need to slow down and take time off for myself.

Dear Lord,

What is it that I am supposed to find? I pray for your guidance in finding it. Meanwhile, I pray that I am moving in a direction in which I can make use of the qualities that you have bestowed upon me to help others, especially the little ones. As I move ahead with your bestowed gifts in the direction of my calling, I do hope to find an identity within myself. I have been lost for more than a quarter of a century. I do not want to wander on Earth like that. I want an identity that gives me meaning in life. In this secular world, one gets tired and lost easily. This I want not. And this I hope is not what you wish for me.

Please do give me a sign, dear Lord.

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

The past few days

The past few days have been rather unproductive as I was too tired and not in the mood to study. Hence, my pace slowed down. But I am slowly and gradually regaining my momentum. It always happens this way. I get a 'major' shake-up by making a small mistake and my engine would start churning again.

Today, I made a minor interpretation error during SS class. We were supposed to identify the main idea of the text that we were supposed to read. The text was about the definition of geography. In my mind, my concept of geography is rather wide and all-encompassing. Amidst all the information presented, a whole chunk of it is about the misconceptions of the idea of Geography.

I wonder, is this due to an interference in reading? Was I over-using my knowledge and opinions to make meaning out of the text? Or was I simply not reading it right? I have to find out
!!!!!

Self-counseling

Hey Jo

CHeer up!!! This weekend is probably one of those low-key ones. Dun think too much about it. Remember that no one can make you unhappy unless you choose to allow them into your private space!!

Alright, let us think of the ceremony as going through the motion. It is just like taking exams. Teachers need to set some form of assessment to assess learning. So, just go through it and enjoy the process. Do not let those other insignificant factors affect you. If they want to come, they can. If they create trouble, just send them out. That special day is yours. No one can take it away from you. Just like knowledge, it is yours only and no one can take it away. We all have our own views and we respect the differences. We may not agree with one another's views but we respect the freedom to own what we think. We do not judge one another. That day is yours. DO not let other snatch it away from you.

Turn to God for God will show you the way. Do what you can and leave the rest to the Lord. Place your trust in Him.

Thank you Lord. I pray for your guidance and blessings.

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Tired and drained

It has been quite a few days since I last recorded snapshots of my short life on Earth. Days have been spent attending lectures and tutorials and working on assignments. I have not been getting enough sleep and now, my eyelids are simply feeling very heavy.

Sometimes, I wonder about the things that people do when they are desperate. Why did not they not get their priorities right? Why wait till the very last moment to salvage the situation? Chances are that the situation cannot be salvaged anymore. Second chances are not given everytime. So we should always try to make the right decision. If we made the wrong decisions, it is our responsitbility to accept the consequences. (Although, sometimes, we can "force" things to work in our interest, the emotions and perceptions tied to the end product will not be the same.

Not a nice day

UNcomfortable, sad, uninteresting, restrictice, devoid of intellectual stimulus. This is what I can say to describe today. After a night at his place, his terribly soft and uncomfortable hand-me-down bed caused me a body of aches once again.

We did not talk much. There was nothing else to do other than watching television. I wanted to talk and discuss topics that I came across but he found me noisy and irritating.

The weather was warm and humid and made me feel even more uncomfortable.

It always has to happen this way. Whenever I go over to his place, I always have to leave with such negative emotions and physical discomfort.

I need't have worried so much about him feeling upset and lonely because he has his game console and he does not need any other attention from me anymore. His parents take care of his daily needs. He has more than one source of attention and love. Who am I to him anyway?

Days will get better, the Sun will shine once again

The past weekend was a terrible one. I did not enjoy it at all.

First, I went to the library to borrow a book and copied readings which I already have. Blur me!!! I did not check properly as I went through the pile of readings.

Secondly, I had diarrhea last night. It was most probably caused by the Roti Prata that I ate yesterday morning.

Thirdly, during the movie, the guys beside us kept talking and talking and someone's feet smelt soo bad that I wanted to puke. So in the end, we moved a few rows to the front in the midst of the movie. What a spoiler!!!

Fourthly, I had to wait for more than half an hour to take a bus out of NTU to get lunch. The stupid thing is that two buses came at the same time!!!! What a waste of time!!! And the sun was shinning to brightly that my skin was burning.

Everything seem to get on my nerves. Being as aesthetically motivated person, I am very much demotivated by the ugly people I see. I wonder if they find any meaning in their lives. Or are they just going with the flow?

Or have I missed anything?

The Sun will shine again tomorrow.

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Dear Lord,

Please let the days get better.

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Misconceptions

In one of our classes, we covered the issue of Misconceptions. Children carry misconceptions through their childhood into adulthood. These conceptions could be about concepts or beliefs. Along this line, there are misconceptions that the public has about the teaching profession. They think that we have shorter working hours, more time off for holidays, and very little pressure.

Being a teacher in training, I have to oppose to that view strongly, and I wonder if I have any ability at all to correct that misconception. There are so many tasks and responsibilties that teachers take up for the love of the children. WE play so many roles in school. The preparation for lessons also take up a lot of time as we always try our best to source for materials and think of strategies to make learning fun for children, because that is the best way of learning for children. While doing so, teachers have to constantly upgrade their knowledge through in-service courses and reading so that we can add more value to the children's journey of discovery.

All these take time and we are so stretched to the edge. Yet, people say that we are the ones with the 'best' job around. It hurts and it irks to hear such comments, especially when they come from the people closest to you. It simply seems like they do not respect you and what you do at all. I am very upset because the comments came from him and this is not the first time. With all the deadlines and work to be done, all I wish for are words of comfort and encouragement. Yet, what I get from him are accusations and ignorant remarks despite all the explanations I have made earlier.

My 'irrational' self is talking now. Emotions have taken over me. I should learn to see things from their points of view too. Afterall, when you do not experience something, you can never really understand what it is like. Perhaps time will heal my fragile heart of love for the children......

Bees like it hot and seek warm colours in plants Wednesday August 2, 06:46 PM

LONDON (Reuters) - Bumblebees like it hot and learn to use the colour of plants to select blooms with the warmest nectar, scientists said on Wednesday.
Through trial and error, bumblebees learn which flowers are the hot spots which offer an additional reward in the form of heat or energy for the pollinating insects.
When researchers at Queen Mary, University of London used four different coloured artificial flowers with varying temperatures, the majority of the bees selected the darker coloured, warmer flowers.
Even when the colours and temperatures were switched, the bees still preferred the warmer blooms.
"What the bees appear to be doing is a bit like us drinking a hot drink on a cold day. If you need to warm up, you can produce your own heat, at the expense of some of your energy reserves - or you can consume a warm drink, and save on investing in your own energy," said Professor Lars Chittka, who headed the research team.
"The interesting thing is that bees don't just prefer the warmer drinks - they learn to predict the flower temperature from the flower colour," he added in the statement.
Chittka and his team believe the findings, which are reported in the journal Nature, show that flower temperature offers an additional reward for the bees.
"We conclude that the bees preferred to land on the warmer flowers, even though the similarly coloured alternative contained the same nutritional reward," the researchers said in the journal.



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Isn't the article interesting? What lessons can we draw from this?
What do bumblebees represent? Can they teach us a lesson in life? Are we similar to bumblebees? Do they have traits like us humans?

I wonder............

The words of my children...

I call them my children, although technically, they are not. I pinned the cards and words of appreciation they have written right in front of my on the corkboard.

I am slightly stressed out these days as I aim to give my best and achieve as much as I can. Yet the stress levels can fog my mind to such as extent that it is unbreathable. Yet, the moment I lift my head and read what they have written, especially from P6 Respect, my heart melts and I find the energy to move on. While they are not the kind who will actively sought your attention of speak to you, they are able to express their thougths and feelings through words. This is in spite of their limited and construed command of the English Language.

Looking at what they have written and thinking back to the lessons I had with them, I know that they have enjoyed their time with me. Life is not always a bed of roses. We are not happy every moment of our lives. But I know that for the few minutes in their school life, they experienced some degree of joy and fun. This constant reminder of the joy they had spurs me on to work hard and not let them down. These children deserve the best teachers that this world can provide them. And having been given the chance to be a teacher, it is my role and responsibility to maximise my potential so that I can pass on my skills, knowledge and thoughts to them to allow them to make better choices and lead better lives in the future.

Children are innocent beings brought into this world. While it is beneficial to experience some downs in their lives, there are simply some aspects such as education and development which should not be compromised. For them, I will hang on and persevere. For they are my children..my joy...my love...my happiness...and I only want the best for them so that they can be good people who will ultimately find their destiny in this world.