Princess Diaries

Princess DIaries was screened on TV last night and I watched it a second time. I love the movie. It is simple. It brings me into my realms of fantasy and miracles. It may not happen to anyone. NOt everyone can be a princess of a country. There would be too many princesses by then. But what was said in the movie really touched me.

Mia was not ready to be a princess. I mean, afterall, she is only fifteen. MOst girls at fifteen would be thinking about passing their exams and exploring their sexuality and the world around them. And after a series of happenings, the girl finally decided to take up the challenge. One of the motivations behind her decision was that being someone in that position, she could put into actions ideas and thoughts that have impact on the people of the world. She could do things that bring good to the people and the future generation. She could build on the intelligent people and their ideas.

Most important of all, I think, the lesson to be learnt is that there will always be a miracle in our lives. If only we cared enough to recognize it.

Doesn't that taste delicious?

I was on my way home just now after a session at the gym and a trip to the post office to collect my package and mail out some letters. It was about lunch time and I thought, with the cold weather and the workout at the gym, I should be entitled to a hotdog at least! And so I went to the hotdog stand at the LIttle Triangle and bought myself a ristet hotdog. I love ristet hotdogs. There is mustard, pickles, lots of onions and just enough bread to finish the hotdog with.

After buying the hotdog, I ate it along the way as my feet brought me home. My journey home includes walking past a block of shops and a large pond, As I was walking along the breadth of the pond, I saw this man just standing by it and taking in the view. The sun was shining, the winds were blowing and the birds were just enjoying themselves in the water. This man saw me eating my hotdog. We made eye contact and he asked me if the hotdog was delicious. And of course, I replied, "Yes, it is!" We smiled at each other and went on our ways.

It was just s imple encounter. Most people would probably brush this off saying that the man was probably bored. Well, I thought it was a sweet encounter. A brave one too. The man is Dane and I am Asian. Most people may have the fear of speaking to someone whom they are not familiar with. Fear of the unknown creates a barrier to us building relationships and rapport among one another. Yet, he did. And I returned the courtesy.

I believe that we both walked away with pleasant feelings and joy with just a simple exchange of words. The world is still beautiful around us. :)

A rainy day

Yesterday, it rained the entire day. Right from the morning till late at night. I would say that it was the wettest and gloomiest day I have ever experienced since I arrived in Denmark. Raindrops poured down onto the ground as if it is never ending. The winds blew in all directions as if looking someplace to hide. There was no sun. Dark clouds covered the sky like an extremely large piece of blanket. It was cold.

ON my way to the gym, i saw the leaves scattered all over the ground. Leaves of brown and yellow. The trees are almost bare. On the ground, the sand is now wet with rain water. Leaves are strewn all over the ground. People on the streets dress themselves with thick jackets, scarves, gloves and hats.

It is only autumn now, and yet, there are signs of winter everywhere. Temperature ranges from 5 degrees to at most 15 degrees now.

With this environmental change, my journey towards experiencing a full winter is about to begin.....

Distractions

It has been quite some time since I made a decision to pursue a career in the Education Industry. I read aobut the industry, about the career prospects, challenges and the issues faced by the personnels working in the industry. I am so into the idea that it has become the lighthouse in me.

Today, I received an email from ITE saying that they would like to consider me for a Customer Service position at the Headquarters managing a Customer Contact Centre. I fit their requirements. My degree and experience in call centre environments make me a positive candidate. I do not mind going back into the industry too. It has its fun and challenges.

Then, it occured to me that I may be straying away from my goal. I questioned myself the reasons for being a teacher and choosing that industry. Being a teacher allows me to form relationships with my students and allows me to care and help the pupils in their development. This is what I love most. This is what gives me satisfaction. In the prevous two jobs, I cared more about my staff then the performance of the centre. It did not seem to work very well though. Internally, I had to fight to maintain the balance of performance versus welfare.

I know that being a teacher also requires performance. You need to help pupils learn and pass their tests and exams. It gives me more meaning and satisfaction though. A smile or simple words of gratitude is enough to keep me happy. In a corporate environment, the motivation is monetary, which does not really suit me. I search for meaning and fulfillment.

Knowing this, I feel much better. While I feel flattered that ITE is willing to consider me for an employment opportunity, a voice deep down inside me tells me that I have to go into teaching. Teaching allows me to fulfill me life goals and gives me the challenges to help me grow and develop.

So Jo. Do not be distracted. Stay focused on ur goals and the reasons for ur actions!

Kiasuism

Matt asked me what the definition of Kiasuism is. To most Singaporeans, it means a lot. Gist of it is that it refers to behaviour which focuses on one's own individual selfish needs and whch causes irritation to others. Is this term only applicable to Singaporeans or does it apply to every living organism?

Every human being has needs and wants. The distinction is how we achieve them. Do we achieve our needs and wants using methods which inconvenience others and cause them discomfort? Or do we behave in ways which is exagerrated and unnecessary? Or do we have unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others with respect to our wants and needs?

From my point of view, I reckon that when it comes to achieving our own needs and wants, we tend to do whatever necessary and sometimes even more. The question is do we know when and where to draw our line of rationality.

So far, just because Singapore is the place that I have grown up in, I have seen only the "ugly" side of Singaporeans. My travel experience is not much and hence would not account for an accurate assessment of whether non-Singaporeans are kiasu or not.

Afterall, being a human being, and with the "survival of the fittest" element ingrained in us, we would somehow fight for the things that we want. So, how enlightened will we grow and evolve to be in the future?

Teaching of values in Schools

http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/10/16/prom.canceled.ap/index.html

The above link tells a story of how a principal of a roman-catholic school has made the decision to cancel the school's prom after the students went overboard in terms of the activities and cost spent. Students are willing to spend thousands of dollars to rent a party house, to dress themselves up, have fun with booz and sex using prom as an excuse. The principal finally took the stand of saying no as it does not follow the values taught by the school.

Some parents agree and some parents do not agree with the decision saying that it is the decision of the students what they want to do.

Well, my personal opinion is that proms are a waste of money to a certain extent. YOu spend so much money to look good for one night just to be seen and to drown yourself in booz and sex. THe time and money could be put to better use.

On the other hand, what about the students? What do they think? I wonder, what is going on in their minds? What drove them to make this decision? WIth my limited knowledge about the developmental psychology of teenagers, I can only deduce that for girls, the prom is an opportunity for them to express themselves through fashion and looks. As for the boys, I have no idea.

Nevertheless, I am beginning to understand why school can be so rigid at times. It is the values that hold a school together. What are the values invovled? What are your values?

Stockholm

We were in Stockholm for the weekend. Stockholm. I wonder how to describe it. The new town has the makings of a cosmopolitan city where there are shopping malls, restaurants and boutiques. The old town has the seventeenth century buildings with small shops lining the streets. The streets in the Old Town or Gamla Stan are cobbled and there are very few cars.

Both of them are linked merely by a few bridges. A few minutes walk and you enter a different atmosphere.

We spent less than forty-eight hours in Stockholm. But that was enough for one special incident to take place.

We were all on the bus trying to get to Drottningholm Palace. That is where the Swedish Royalty spend their summer. So there we were, a group fo tourists looking out of the window for signs that were were on track. Then there was this Swedish lady with a little girl on board the bus sitting opposite us. Seeing that we had some confused looks on our faces, she asked if we needed some assistance. I thought we were managing alright and so I declined. But Boon Chuong asked her how do we get to Drottningholm palace and she gave us some instructions. And we said our thanks soon as she alighted.

I wonder. Was it rude of me to decline her assistance? I mean, she was thoughtful enough to offer her help to us strangers.....??? After that, I felt bad Even though I knew the way, I probably should have asked her again so that she would not look so embarrassed?

Wondering......

OCD -Obsessive compulsive behaviour

This is the topic that was aired on Dr Phil's show today. OCD. At the time of the episode, it was said that 1 million people in America has OCD. OCD causes people to react aggressively to the thoughts that they have. They become so obsessed with their thoughts and fantasies that they think it is true. And during all this time, the world around them cannot seem to understand their actions. One girl, for example, hangs all the crosses she has in her room. She is tormented by guilt and worry. Worried that she gets contaminated, or that she does something which inevitably causes harm to others. She washes her hands more than 30 times a day, uses more than 10 towels per trip to the toilet to clean herself, uses her elbows to open her drawers etc to prevent germs from getting to her hands and so on. These people exhibit extreme behaviours because of the thoughts they have in their minds. They are on the edge most of the time. This affects their lives because they feel different from the normal people around them.

It is sad. No one knows what actually goes on in their minds to be able to empathize with them, unless you have been through it. There is no miracles cure, only medication to control emotions and behavioural theraphy. It may take a long time on the road to recovery. It all depends on the person....

Sad....... :(

Oprah in South Africa

I caught the screening of Oprah's show today. It was the issue on the work that she and some other people such as Brad Pitt and Alicia Keys, have done in South Africa.

The mention of South Africa probably brings the thoughts of Aids and poverty to mind. In my mind, I think of many little children who are malnourished, poor and abused.

With Oprah's influence and clout, she brought the donations of the Americans and people from other parts of the world into South Africa. Oprah bought uniforms for the children so that they could go to school. Oprah paid the salaries of the teachers for the next three years so that they could keep on teaching in schools made out from shipping containers. Oprah bought books for the children so that they each have a storybook of their own. Oprah brought them undergarments because they cannot even afford them. Even the clothes that they wear are handed down from whoever and mended multiple times. There was a boy who had a pair of pants to go to school. But he has to keep holding on to his pants because his belt is broken and his zip is spoilt. Oprah gave the money to the various homes and institutions that are helping children and adults for different reasons.

It is amazing when you see the looks on the children's faces. A simple book or bag makes them so happy because they do not have access to such priviledges. Seeing someone there to smile to them and give them a hug draws giggles and joy because they are excited to meet people and they are happy to know that someone cares.

When I think about it, I think most of us have access to so many necessities and luxuries that sometimes, we take things for granted.

I wanna teach children about this. I have no idea yet but I want to show them that they are very lucky to have whatever they need in Singapore. Lord, show me the way! Amen.

Get over that dilemma!!!

Alright, after some pondering and consultation with close friends around me, it is time I put a closure to this issue. I wrote an email to all my friends affected and explained that I did give their numbers and I also did have an agreement with my financial planning friend that she would only call if I give her the green light. A few of them responded and said that it was alright. They understand that this is part of the job and I was only trying to help. Some even commented that they made appointments to meet up with my friend to learn more although they did not have the means to invest. One of them even commented that he had a nice time talking to her.

A few replied acknowledging that they accept my apologies and hope that this will not happen again.

What is done cannot be undone. This is a lesson for me. I had the opportunity to see who are the ones who are matured enough to understand that this is how the Financial Planners work. I also had the chance to see who are the ones who are particular about privacy.

Is it right or wrong to give away phone numbers in this situation? There is no right or wrong answer. Why is this so?

For people who understand that this is part of the job and that I was only trying to help, they are alright with it because they know that it is not something illegal.

For people who prioritize privacy over everything else, they see it as a breech of trust.

Alternatively, I could have handled the situation the other way round. That is, I do not give the numbers. Instead, I check out with my friends first and if they are interested will I give the numbers. But if I did it that way, my friend would not have any leads at all because none of them would be interested. Then I would not be able to help her. At least in the current situation, she managed to speak to some who are open-minded and understanding enough to keep her in view should they be interested.

While I am still disturbed at the fact that she made the calls, I have to give her some credit for helping me understand my friends better.

So that is it. No right or no wrong. Rather, it is how we view it. It is subjective. Time to close the chapter, Jo!!!

Dilemma continued......

I told Matt about what happened. Matt commented that I was gullible and that I actually trusted my friend to keep to her promise. Well, the fact is, I did believe in that. Matt also said that I should not have given the numbers. Well, the more I think about it, the more I agree. Perhaps I should not have given the numbers in the first place. Friends trust you to give you their numbers. I should not have betrayed their trust.

Yet at the same time, I wanted to help my friend. If one is not interested in the products that someone is selling, all one needs to do is to politely decline. No one can force you to buy something that you do not want.

Did I do the wrong thing?

Oh Lord, please give me a sign.

Dilemma...

On my last trip back to Singapore, I met up with one of my ex-colleagues. She is now working as a Financial Planner. So we talked about the market and the industry and the possibility of me investing my money. I did not mind understanding more about the industry and so we talked. Thereafter, she asked me if I have any friends who might be interested. I was not sure if my friends would be interested. But I told her that I can check it out for her. She asked me for a list of numbers that she can call. But I said that she is not supposed to call the numbers until I give her the green light. I wanted to help her source for clients but at the same time, I do not want my friends to react negatively. She agreed and said that she would wait for my response before calling anyone.

So after that, I checked out for her but no one was interested. I replied her and told her not to call anyone of my friends as none of them was interested. However, a few days later, she went ahead to call them. Some of my friends told me about it. I confronted her and she said that since my friends are not negatively against the concept of investment, there is no harm just letting them know that she and her company exists.

Well, I understand her rationale. She was merely informing them of the services that her company offers. It is up to my friends to decided if they want to go further and explore the alternatives.

On the other hand, some of my friends are not that understanding, as I have realized. They came back to me and questioned why I gave their numbers away.

Well, I guess it could be viewed as a mistake to give my friend's numbers away. But I did it to help my other friend and with the understanding that if they were not interested, they could just tell the person and that would be the end of the story.

No matter what I say now, some of my friends are pissed purely at the fact that I gave their numbers away.

Despite the fact that I tried to shield them from the calls by telling my friend not to call them, she went ahead. I did try my best not to allow the negative consequences to happen. But it did anyway. I trusted her to act according to my findings, but she did not.

There seems to be nothing much that I can do now except to apologize to my friends.

Sigh, it seems like I will lose some friends soon. Did I do the wrong thing?

Ice-Cream Man!

Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong.....


Hear the bell ringing!!! It is the ice-cream man! Every Friday at about this time ( 4pm), the ice-cream truck comes round to the street in front of our apartment. The man rings the bell to tell everyone that he is here with his truckload of delicious ice-cream. The ice cream truck has the logo of "Hjem-Is" on it. I am not sure what is means but I think it means "home ice-cream" literally. A big man with white hair steps out of the truck and waits for anyone who is interested to come and buy the ice-cream. You can see all sorts of ice-cream flavours painted all over the truck. The truck has a base colour of blue, sky blue. And you can see ice cream in cones, in sticks, in cups and in tubs. And there are just so many different flavours.

It is a different picture as compared to the ice-cream uncles in Singapore. The types of ice-cream that is sold is also different. But I like the idea. I like this part of life where nostalgia kicks in. I remember the ice-cream man when I was young. I remember not being able to buy ice cream because I did not have the money. Now. I just simply love the sight of an ice cream truck stopping in front of my apartment and the big burly white-haired man stepping out of the truck proudly selling his ice cream. Although I have not tried the ice cream, I can taste the sweetness in me because I simple love the sight of it. The peace it brings, the simplicity it exudes, the pure sweetness of bringing a sweet dessert to people's house, the smiles it brings to the children and adults. I am just overwhelmed by this sight.

What can I do for the children?

I have been surfing the website of NIE for information and related resources ever since I received the news that I have been offered a teaching position. I guess the excitement in me is just so enormous that I keep thinking about the days to come. Or perhaps this is just the initial stage of something new in my life.

The following questions popped up. Perhaps it would do me some good to pen it down?

1. What are the possible topics for my project in NIE?
2. What do I want to teach the little ones besides the topics included in the curriculum?
3. I want to create awareness of how big the world is. How can I do that?
4. Should I take up online courses while I am taking a break to increase my knowledge? What about the cost incurred?
5. How should I spend my time in NIE? Just studying? Or should I join the clubs and activities? Will I have time?
6. There are book prizes available for trainee teachers who do well academically. Will I be able to work my way up to the top few percent and be on the Dean's list or something? Am I that capable?
7. I want to be involved in mentoring work, counselling and guidance perhaps. I want to give back to the little ones what my mentor has given me.
8. I want to encourage the little ones and show them that the world is not as terrible as they may think. How can I do that?
9. How can I encourage the little ones to be interested in other languages? TO be interested in other cultures?

The pondering has been so aggressive that I could not sleep last night. Even till now, I am still thinking about it when I am supposed to be working on my Dip in TESOL. :)

Protecting our boundaries....

Many people do not realize it but we all do have our own boundaries. Signs of such boundaries surface when we get irritated or angry at things that happen. For example, when someone talks too much or moves into your sphere of comfort, you retaliate. You could probably make sacarstic remarks or give that person a look to indicate that you are not in agreement with that person's or that group of people's behaviour.

Applying this understanding into the situation that I am in, I can understand why some Danes are very wary about foreigners' presence in Denmark. The Danes have succeeded in creating a little haven for themselves. THis is a place where one can move about freely, express themselves freely and be at peace with oneself. (Of course, there is a minority who will disrupt this environment to being a balance between good and evil.) This is a place where family and security plays a very important role. The Danes feel comfortable being among their family members and friends. HOwever, with more foreigners coming here to work and experience a different lifestyle, it is no wonder that the Danes sometimes feel uncomfortable. This is their home and country. Suddenly, they are seeing more and more people who look different, work different and behave different. WHen a being comes into contact with foreign elements, it is a natural process and reaction that their defences go up.

Their boundaries are slowly being invaded and tested. Hence, some Danes are not that friendly towards other people. For those who are more tolerant and whose boundaries are not yet threatened, they are able to view a different perspective of the situation. They see foreigners as a chance for learning and enhancing their life experiences.

The other side of the coin falls on the foreigners. Have all foreigners been totally respectful of the Danes and their culture? NO one can be sure. I am affirmative that there would be some foreigners who are not sensitive to the way of life here and hence would have created some negative and unnecessary consequences. So, the Danes cannot be penalized for feeling threatened.

While this is a fact which cannot be changed, I just hope that I can contribute positively to the situation and meet Danes who are willing to accept me for who I am.

Finally....the news arrived!

Finally, the answer that I have been waiting so long for has arrived. MOE has accepted me into the teaching profession. Right now, I will have to manage the administrative procedures from Denmark. This includes chains of emails, long-distance phone calls and perhaps snail mail.

I was so happy when my brother messaged me that I called him to make sure. He was definitely pissed with the long-distance call but he was patient enough to answer my queries.

I was so happy that I dragged Matt out of the room and showed him the words that my brother typed.

Slowly, the heavy burden in me started to dissipate and I felt lighter. The worry and anxiety that I had been carrying for the past three weeks started to leave me. And hope and excitement started to seep in.

Now, I can put my mind into researching the various aspects of education and enjoying my many travel escapades so that I can prepare for my challenging career ahead.

Thank you so much!!!!!!!! (You know who you are!!!)

The beginning of the fourth week

Today is Monday. It is the beginning of the fourth week after my interview with MOE. I am still waiting and hoping that I can be accepted into the teaching profession. Thoughts of it pop up in my head every other minute. I think about how I can communicate with the little ones. I think about how I can make lessons interesting. I think about the activities that i can organize for the little ones. I think about how to accommodate other priorities in my life to fit in with the hours of the school system. I think about the career development paths that would be available in the education industry. I think about how I can upgrade myself so that I can be a more effective teacher not only in the classroom. I think about how I can deal with students facing difficult and challenging situations. THe list goes on.

But all these will just be dreams if I am not accepted. I have been praying so hard and hoping so hard but I have not heard anything from MOE. And there is nothing much that I can do now other than wait. I just hope that I can hear good news soon.

Dear Lord

The past few weeks have thought me that patience is a virtue and I should learn to take things in my stride. I have tried to learn from this experience and reflect on life. There are other things which demand my attention and focus other than this one thing. I have done what I could and hence, I should learn to put my faith in the Lord and trust that the Lord would do the rest for I know that I am progressing in a path which is destined for me.

Thank you Lord for the lesson taught. Thank you for teaching me to accept things that I cannot change, yet change the things that I can for a better future.

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Swinging

I watched the Oprah Show today. The topic was "Swinging". I wondered what it meant. The word looks ordinary and innocent to me. As the show unfolded, I finally had the answer to the question.

Swinging is a word used to describe the behaviour of adults who are married who carry out their sexual fantasies openly with other people (other then their partners). These people are generally married couples with kids. They meet in clubs and start off with the usual dinner parties and end up having sex with other people. SOmetimes, it could be a threesome or group sex. These people may not necessarily know each other. THey could have just met one another at the party. And couples engage in such activies with each other knowing that their partners are also doing the same thing at the same place at the same time. IMagine a couple going to a party and they have sex with other people. Couples swop partners or they do it together. In such an environment, the "Swingers" claim their they can pursue their sexual fantasies without feeling guilty because their partners are in the know as well. THey also claim that it has helped their relationships becuase their sex lives have become more exciting.

It is amazing!

Oprah made a comment that marriage is changing. THe whole concept of tying the knot and being faithful to your partner is changing. While I can accept that this is the choice of consenting adults, I wonder how young children are able to understand this. I believe that sex education in schools teach children that they do not engage in sex till they are much older and sex is reserved for the partner of their lives. It is a special and intimate relationship and activity that one shares with his/her life partner. Hence, if parents are doing this, are their actions not contradicting what we are teaching the children? Will our children be able to trust us and respect us? Will the children themselves grow up with the integrity that we expect them to? It is a wonder.

Who is to blame for the incidents of teenagers getting pregnant? Adults are to blame for we set the examples with our actions, for we do not do what we preach. Who suffers the consequences for the wrong actions? It is not just the teenagers suffering. THe future generation suffers. THey will grow up in an environment where the concept of family, respect and love is all eroded. The general public suffers because children will grow up to be delinquents. They commit petty crimes to vent their frustrations. The whole world suffers.

Is that what we want for our children? Is that what we want our world to be? I am not sure about that.

Hanging on

Here I am...still sick and tired....still waiting for the results of the application....When will I hear anything? Will I get the chance to be a teacher? I wonder, I pray and I wish.