Tuesday, 0835 hours, 28 March 2006

It is just two more days and I will be making my way back to Singapore. A mélange of emotions and feelings are stirring in me as I try to organize my thoughts.

I love the weather in Denmark. I love the freedom. I love the environment. I love the simplicity that comes with the culture. Or, the other way of expressing this is that my beliefs system and mentality and very much in sync in this part of the world.

Other than looking forward to the career challenges and the friends who I will be meeting and knowing, there is very little to look forward to. Singapore has never been a place which provides me with any special memories. Well, perhaps only for the memory that I met him there in school.

I know I will miss Denmark. He remarked, “ Leaving Denmark opens another door to another part of the world.”

It is true and I agree with him. After this chapter, we shall begin another chapter, and hopefully, it will take place in another country as beautiful as Denmark.

Yet, I know that the emotional side of me wants that attention once again.

For the past hours, there were so many instances where I felt like letting my tears fall freely down my face. I miss Copenhagen. I miss my new-found friends. I miss the lifestyle. I miss the swans, the beautiful and graceful swans which decorate the many waterways and lakes. I simply love to sit by the lake and watch the swans land on and take off from the water. While they may be very graceful creatures, they do require a certain amount of power to carry their bodies off the water. And when they land, they usually need about a few meters of water and they usually create this huge splashes of water around them. It reminds me of a plan landing on the tarmac.

Sitting by the lake allows one to calm down and reflect on life. For me, it especially gives me a chance to take note of things in life which one has failed to notice. Take a look at the list below!

I love to watch people jogging past. They remind me to keep going and persevere no matter how harsh the weather is. One can do it if one tries hard enough.
I love to watch mums and dads push their baby strollers past me. Divorce rates are high here. Sometimes, you see only the mum and sometimes you see only the dad. But I love the fact that they make time for their children. They talk to their children, play with them, show them what their environment is like, and most importantly, show them that they care.
I love to watch the people feeding the birds and swans. Sometimes, they would throw the bread crumbs or pieces of bread into the air and the birds would catch it. Their movements and motions in the air resembles a dance. A dance of joy, a dance of life. A dance of thanks. A dance of friendship. One may think that the people who have the time to feed the birds are probably retirees. Well, one is partially right. There are many other youths who would cycle to the lakes with bags and bags of bread ( gammel brod ). And of course, people like me, who cannot finish the big loaves of bread and would very much love to share them before they turn really bad.
Watching the ripples on the water adds joy to the experience. Denmark is a place which is always very windy and cold and grey. Yet, the many different winds create masterpieces on the water. The wind blows from so many different directions that the patterns on the water is always so varied and pretty. The trees and leaves moves to the rhythm of the winds and always, they seem to be singing songs which brings the soul to a calm. If one is upset, the singing brings consolation and peace. If one is happy, the singing shares your joy and happiness. Whatever emotions one carries, the wind seems to be the only best candidate who can truly understand and share them with one.
Basking in the sun. Benches by the lakes are one major spot where people hit to get their share of the sun when it is out. Of course, during winter, people do not do this that often. Spring is here and the sun is slowing showing signs of warmth and light. More and more people are taking their breaks in the sun simply by sitting on these benches. While the sun warms them up, they take their breaks and lunches. At the same time, one finds the time to be at peace with oneself once again.

Denmark is the place which was chosen to allow me to take stock of my life. It gave me the chance to think things through and to rediscover myself once again. To find out who I truly am and what I was born to do. This is the place where both he and I actually worked out some of the issues which have been plaguing us for the past years. This is the place where I re-established contact with some long-lost friends.

This is the place where I began to find myself and my destiny.

My favourite flower

There is one thing which I have not documented. Tulips!!!!! Pretty colourful tulips!!!!

Tulips has always been my favourite flower. I like it for its simplicity and purity. And thanks to genetic evolution, tuplips nowadays have many different variations and colours. No matter which combination they are of, they are always so beautiful.

Holland is probably the main exporter of tulips. Yet, we do see lots of them here in Copenhagen too. With a turn of your head, they are bound to appear somewhere.

Oh, how I will miss them......

Some things to remember...

1. Zonetherapi = foot reflexology
2. People do not like to talk on the mobile phones in public places
3. People like to feed the birds, swans and duckies.....
4. People bring their children out and leave them in the cold so that they will develop an immune system right when they are very young.
5. I leave near the US Embassy.
6. I love the Baresso Coffee Chokoladekage....
7. I love the Ristet hotdogs...
8. I love the buildings because they are usually less than 5 or 6 storeys high, except for a few....
9. there is no limit to the number of books that u can borrow from the library...and the loan period is slightly more than 1 month.
10. The kids can play and run in the library....
11. Every turn of your head, you can see a mum or dad pushing a stroller along the streets....
12. Pregnant women working out vigorously at the gym...
13. Mums have superb figures like models even after giving birth....
14. Divorce is common here...
15. The sun rises so early in the morning that u have to get up....
16. Winter is cold but refreshing...
17. People are active here....u see people jogging, going to the gym and doing winter sports.....

The sun is shining

The sun has been shining for most part of today. Yet, I hide in the apartment feeling tired and sick. My lungs are playing the musical again. This time, it is aggressive and unstable. And generally, my body experiences lethargy due to hormonal changes as that time of the month approaches with every passing minute.

On this topic, I sometimes feel that females are tagged with the wrong adjectives by males. Females have a body which experiences different sensations. Such experiences manifest themselves through different signs such as fatigue, different fitness levels and outbreaks. Yet, males do not seem to understand this. Sometimes when I speak with males, some of them clearly project the clear ignorance to the fact that different bodies function differently.

Well, perhaps such differences in thought processes make the world more interesting as we are constantly seeking to seek a compromise or reach a common ground amidst all these differences!

Counting down....

Today is 20 March 2006. 10 more days and I will be on my way back to SG. I know I will miss this place. The culture, the environment and the people all appeal to me. I like the openess, I like their views towards lifestyles and work. I like the weather. Why? Simply because my beliefs system are in line with what they have here.

It is sad to leave this place. I dread going back to an environment which is traditional, suppressive and closed. Yet I know I have to. For so many reasons. Probably, the only consolation that I get from going back is the company of my close friends and the food. Other than that, there is nothing much that appeals to me. Is it sad? Haha......

Independence

Today, I met Hilde. SHe is a nice girl. SO far, we have had 3 meetings including the one in Singapore. She comes across to me as someone who is aggressive, hardworking, independent and fun. She knows what she wants and she works for it and she goes all the way out.

We had coffee today and we spoke about the differences between the NOrwegian culture and the SIngaporean culture.

1. Differences in studying methods and focus
2. Differences in diet (they love bread and potatoes whereas we love rice and noodles, sort of)
3. Differences in ideas relating to independence and marriage/partners

She brought me to her new apartment which she is working on herself. She learnt the skills from her dad and granddad who worked as carpenters and car mechanics. Of course, for some other tasks which require more skills and energy, she engaged the help of the professionals.

Thereafter, she brought me to some shops and showed me the type of sinks that she bought and would be installing in her new apartment. And then she dropped me off to catch a movie starting at 1830.

On the topic of movie, she was telling me about some of the movies that she has watched and it struck me so strongly that she watched the movies alone. SHe has many friends and yet she chooses to work on some of her life activities alone. I have no idea why she does this. Could it be because she loves the peace and silence that comes when one is alone? Or perhaps she is meeting someone but does not want to say it.

Anyway, she inspires me with the clarity of life and aggresion.

I sort of screwed up as I was just so bad at giving directions. I said 'left' when I meant 'right', especially when we were cruising down to Lille Trianglen. I really hope I did not irritate her with my carelessness or slip of tongue...haha....

Dear Lord

Thank you for making this meeting possible. I pray that Hilde will enjoy success with her career and personal life. At the same time, I hope that we can develop our friendship as the time passes.

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Dear Lord, please help me find peace...

Dear Lord

Please help me find peace within myself. Please teach me to dispel the negative thoughts from me about her. The future is something which I cannot change and I want to be happy. I do not want to face her everyday in the future and look at her petty face. I do not want to be treated as a slave....

Please show me the way, Lord. Please give me a sign. Please tell me that everything will be alright. ( This statement will never come from his mouth. )

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Cyclists

I love to watch cyclists every morning. THey are not professional cyclists. Rather, they are just like any other person on the streets making their way to work.

It is fun to look at their faces as they cringe their muscles against the cold winter wind. Some of them look as if they are cycling in a marathon, some of them seem to enjoy the exercise and there is a smile on their faces.

It feels refreshing as they zoom past me at the bus stop every morning. They remind me to work hard and head in the direction that I want to in life. It may be cold and tiring but as long as we work hard, we will be able to reach our destination one day. And it is the process and journey that makes our lives so special and unique.

So step on the pedal and start moving!!!!

Who should take the seat? A child or an elderly?

I was on the bus today on my way back from school. The bus was quite packed. There was a class of pupils out on an excursion. And some of them were sitting in the designated seats which are reserved for the elderly and disabled.

Then boarded an old man. WEll, he looks strong and abled, but still, he falls into the category of the 'elderly' and he is entitled to the sit that one pupil was sitting on. The pupil was so engrossed with playing with her friends and her mobile phone that she did not really pay attention to the old man even though he was standing right in front of her.

There was a guy sitting a few rows back and offered to give up his seat. THe old man responded by saying that it is alright. SO the old man remained standing for a few more stops and found a seat later when some other passenger alighted.

Question: Who should take the seat? The old man or the child?

Reasons supporting old man=

• Old, hence assuming less abled
• Possibility of having an accident as the bus moves along and jerks or brakes?
• Weak??

Reasons supporting child=

• young and prone to mishaps as they are not that able to look after their own safety?
• future generation and leaders?

Who do you think should take the seat?? Hmmmmmm........

Comforting words from the snow....

It snowed a little yesterday and today. Well, it is officially spring now but we are still getting some residue from the winter. Strong cold winds increasing the wind chill factor and low temperatures ranging from 0 to minus 10 degrees celsius.

It snowed when I was on my way to school yesterday and on my way back. Perhaps I was trying to console myself subconsciously as i had the idea the the snowflakes were telling me not to fell sad and not to miss them. I miss the snow. I know I will, and it is a painful thought. Snow means a lot to me. THey represent purity, perseverance, calm, innocence, happiness, simplicity and joy. Somehow, I received the message saying that I do not have to miss snow because they will be around whenever and wherever there is winter. It brought tears not to my eyes but to my heart.

Looking at the snowflakes, they were dancing and flying around in the air all around me. It is just like having angels dancing and prancing all over with joy. I seem to hear them singing angelic and beautiful songs in their own language. Some of them were stroking my hair and face as if comforting me and telling me that the future days to come shall be smooth and wonderful and filled with joy and satisfaction. I hope so and I pray hard for these days.

I try very hard to commit all these scenes and pictures to memory. I do not wish to forget them. They bring peace, joy and comfort to my ailing soul.

End of Chapter Part 2.....

What have I enjoyed over the past one year?

1. Lots of travelling both to places which I have always wanted to go and places which I never thought I would go to
2. Lots of privacy and space to think about life
3. Met interesting people such as Ming and family, Henna, Carmen and Katie
4. Managed to catch up with Hilde over coffee
5. Learnt to appreciate some little things in life
6. Managed to lose some weight...(hope that I will not put it back after going back to SG)
7. Revised my german and made the trip to Dresden, which has become one of my favourite places with a special meaning to it. I will definitely want to go back there again....I miss the churches and operas......)
8. Learning Danish
9. Watching the lake freeze and defroze
10. Watching the swans and duckies take off and land on the lake with precision and gracefulness.
11. Feeding the duckies and swans with bread. ( THey always come swarming all over you...)
12. Watching the clouds move from the kitchen window.
13. Sitting by the lakes and just watching people running by....
14. Signing marriage papers at the City Hall, a simple ceremony....
15. The weekends of cooking and baking at Ming's place, and watching DVDs and playing with Lex
16. Trips to Bakken, Tivoli and Roskilde...
17. Finding long-lost friends online
18. Maintaining contact with friends online and faraway.....
19. The chance to experience long summer days and short winter days
20. The chance to walk in the snow and get my shoes all wet....
21. The chance to knock my head against the low ceiling when alighting from double-decker buses.
22. Eating hotdogs on the streets....
23. Eating Tim Sum....
24. Watching movies in large theatres with so few people in it...
25. Making our own popcorn.
26. Making sushi at Ming's place
27. Enjoying a nice family dinner with Ming and family and helping to wash up after that.....
28. Looking out of the window in the living room and seeing the sun's rays falling on the apartments opposite....
29. Sticking my head out of the window to steal glances of what is happening at the lake.....
30. Brought norman around town and seeing that he widens his perspectives...and of course his enjoyment of the hotdogs.....haha....

End of chapter.....

It is approximately three more weeks before my flight back to SG. It is also the end of winter and the beginning of Spring. The sun rises early in the morning at about six plus and sets at about six in the evening. During the day, the sun seems to be shinning more brightly than before. Snowfall is lesser and the snow has turned into ice on the sidewalks. As I walked to school today, I noticed that they are tearing down the ice-skating ring at Kongens Nytorv bit by bit.

It dawned on me that with each passing moment, I am gettin closer to making the trip back to SG. It is not that I dread it, although I do to some extent. It is leaving this sanctuary of mine here in Copenhagen that really tears at my heartstrings. Here, I can feel free, safe and at peace with myself. Everytime I step out onto the streets, I feel at ease. I get ideas and thoughts from simply walking to the lake nearby and sitting there looking at the swans and ducks frolicking in the cold water. I do not feel suppressed or restrained. I feel respected and equal.

Back in SG, I know that I will have to get accustomed to the culture of gender inequality, traditional egoistical beliefs, suppression of individual pursuits of interests which are not conventional and so on. While I do agree that individuals are entitled to their own beliefs, I have to say that the environment sometimes may not encourage it. Or rather, people are not accustomed to agreeing to disagree and discuss the different views openly. It is the lack of openess which gets on my nerves sometimes. When we do not open our minds to accept that there are differences in our thoughts and beliefs, we close the door to knowledge and learning. SG has this trait of playing it safe, too safe such that they are forever walking or running on the spot without ever making any progress.

Of course, I look forward to meeting my friends and going out for good food and movies. And the most important thing of all, my new career. It is really like a tornado of feelings, both positive and negative. They are swirling inside me causing disturbance and instability.

Hmmmmm....so what will I miss here in Denmark?

1. Winter
2. Friendliness of the people
3. Hotdogs with onions and ketchup
4. Bakken
5. Coconut cake
6. Lots of nature
7. Al fresco dining
8. Beautiful architecture
9. My new-found friends
10. Movies every night
11. Space

End of part 1.......:)

Writing Children's Books

As part of the Danish course that I am taking now, we have to read a Danish classic. It is a simple book written about a boy who dreamt that he was alone in the entire world. And of course he did things which he would not have been able to in reality. Of course, as we read the story, we had questions on the probability and feasibility of the story from an adult's point of view. But at the same time, I got an idea. Should I try writing children's books?

Honestly, I am very curious to find out how and what do children think about. WHen we were young, we were free from prejudice and structures. Anything goes. Somewhere along the way, we lost that belief in hope and possibility as the adults around us imposed boundaries and structures to protect us and guide us along the path which they think would be best.

What should I write about? HOw should I approach writing ? Or rather, how can I incoporate stories into my teaching so that my students can understand that English lessons are more than just grammar and vocabulary.

Or perhaps I should start by reading all the children's books in the library first? Heeheee.......



Dansk. Palle alene in hele verden. Children's books. Ideas for class activities. Writing and publishing children's books myself....gym....what to write? adventures? appreciating the world? learning languages? social differences?

Did I handle it correctly?

It really came as a surprise when I received Mei's and Patrina's emails. First of all, I am flattered and touched that they still keep me in mind after such a long time (not so long anyway heeheee....). Second of all, they sounded really keen and sincere in asking me to work together with them.

And when I broke the news to them that i intend to go into teaching, I could feel a sense of dissappointment and barrier starting to build up. Logically, I do not have any value the moment I told them that I am unable to apply for the job. So why bother to spend any more time talking to me? [I feel sad. Is that the end to a possible friendship?]

Or perhaps I should not have asked them for details about the job. It took them time to type the email and send it to me. On the other hand, I knew all along that i will not be able to apply for it.....

Did I handle the situation badly? Did I dissapoint them?

Is my excitement irritating people?

A few people around me who has been in contact with me would know that I am so very excited about the NIE training. I cannot wait to start on the textbooks, tutorials and group discussions to widen my perspective and gain insights into the different opinions that other people may have.

Perhaps I am too excited that I failed to consider other people's positions. FOr example, take the HR personnel whom I have been corresponding with. She goes to work everyday handling similar matters related to recruitment. It may have become so routine that she finds it boring and meaningless. Afterall, there are just so many protocols to follow. One can barely make a difference unless you are somewhere near the top of the corporate ladder. With this in mind, I should not expect her responses to indicate any trace of excitement of joy in corresponding with me. Her replies are cold and factual, standard and plain, and straight to the point.

From another point of view, her job is to ensure that emails and questions are answered in the fastest time possible with the least amount of resources. Well, she has achieved that goal.

It affects me very much whenever I receive such emails. I come from a field of study where we believe in making every contact opportunity a memorable and joyous one. Call it an occupational hazard, but I think that every customer who is polite and nice to you deserves the same treatment in reciprocation too. (Of course, for those nasty customers, we still have to maintain a polite front but perhaps we would not go the extra mile for them...haha....)

Hmmmmm......or am I just over-sensitive and reading too much into such a simple incident?

My last month in Copenhagen

Soon, I will be on my flight back to Singapore, leaving this simple and nice place for the hot and humid and fast-paced life in Singapore. Compared to SIngapore, Copenhagen may not be the best place for shopaholics and people who love to eat. It may not have as many cinemas or shopping malls or places of interest where one can idle their time away. Yet it is a peaceful and beautiful place to live in.

As I think of the culture differences between SIngapore and Denmark, I have fears. I cannot say that I have a good understanding of the Danish culture to justify a good and firm argument. Yet, I do see some differences.

1) The ease and freedom of speech with special reference to sex, porn and sexuality.

To a large extent, we (people living in Denmark) are open and receptive to topics such as sex and sexuality. We can often see couples, not just heterosexuals, but also homosexuals walking on the streets without fear of being singled out and spoken about. We respect one another for the choices that they have made and we wish them well.

Porn is just like a daily dish of meat or vegetable. It is shown everyday, of course at certain timings, and it is just like another programme for one to relax after a long day at work. (What is so embarrassing about porn anyway?) Both males and females have sexual needs at least once in a blue moon...

2) Expression

People here are very direct in expressing their thoughts and they do not hold back anything. 'No' means no and 'yes' means yes. The service culture here is very different. You are not treated as if you are a VIP. The cashier or sales personnel are not your subordinate. You can ask questions but do not expect to be 'served' as if you are a king or queen. They do not need to smile at you if they do not want to. Just get the transaction done and be gone!

Well, of course there are also very friendly and nice store personnels who make you feel good after making a purchase. But this is not the norm.

3) Expectation of integration into the local culture

I finally understand why everyone speaks to you in Danish even though you look obviously like a foreigner. While they are glad to speak English and improve their standards with your help, the Danes also expect foreigners to respect and integrate into the Dane culture, especially if you are living her for a longer period of time. It is not easy to learn Danish because of the pronunciation, but simple words of thanks and hi can certainly bring out the smile on their faces.

Singapore is different. Instead, we try to accommodate to the many foreigners by adopting English as the main language instead of our mother tongues. This move many years ago has led to the diminishing interest in our own mother tongues. Steps are being taken to correct this and bring about balance to the linguistic abilities of the people in SIngapore.

4) Equality, despite your age

Everyone here is seen as an equal. Even children. Children have their rights too, like the adults. They are not viewed as the weaker human beings. Instead, logic and persuasion are used, albeit there would be rewards and punishments as well. Children are given the freedom to express themselves. They are treated as equals. It is quite different in the Singapore context where the children are pampered, spoon-fed and sheltered (or suppressed) till they are quite old. Children do not enjoy the same level of equality as adults. Or perhaps the culture does not foster that.

Here, each one owns their decisions and actions. Everyone makes wrong moves and they accept their consequences. THey do not mind falling down and trying again.

5) Looking at life from a different angle.

THey look at life from a different point of view. Life is not just about achievements, power, authority and wealth. Life is about meaning, satisfaction and joy. While I have to say that there will always be exceptions, I must say that that is the impression that I get.